Yes thats how i am thinking in the past couple of days.. She is so loving and kind and happy, that makes me happy too sometimes and i can have some warm feelings back for a while.

I like how u frame that, i hadn’t thought like this, mostly been focusing on how I feel 🙂

It’s like i owe her (or anyone for that matter), the same kindness, enthusiasm, creativity and all those things that i might not have.

If u mean intense anger, i can barely remember, its been more than 10 years..
I mostly feel frustration rather than anger.

Damn, i opened her present and i read her letter, she says that she hasnt stopped thinking about me since the day we started talking (i havent either) and that the way she feels about me scares her. I am crying so much right now because i feel terrified of how she feels about me, that im gonna hurt her and disappoint her eventually, because i can’t feel what i was feeling before all this started. I feel like im leading her on and i cry, i feel like i dont deserve her. What did i do to deserve such a kind and loving soul?

Haha, it depends on who i choose to show what part

Sometimes, they tell me i look distant-composed, but most of the time i feel robotic, i can’t be happy or enthusiastic with almost anything, when people around me are happy and elated it feels like i’m faking myself sometimes, other times i might feel a bit of joy for a short while, but nothing like the others.

Yeah i think i do but it’s not possible, or at least this is what im learning now, we have to go by action probably.

Sometimes it feels blank sometimes no, it feels warm 🙂

Thank you very much anita! 🙂

But i do feel like a bad person in the past 4-5 months..Like im ungrateful 🙁

I guess i doubt whatever i cant know for sure yeah, its like my mind cant accept anything if i dont feel it for sure

Hey anita!

Well today has not been good, it stopped working but i am trying to work through it 🙁

Sadly yes, it does fit very well, i tried to explain it to her a little bit but its a tough topic to bring up. And today i did analyze a lot 🙁

Yeah when i told her about that convo and how her words sounded at that time she said “well ofc i would consider moving to greece, i wouldn’t let u take the whole weight by yourself” but that didn’t do anything for me at the time, maybe i was still triggered.
Well marriage isn’t in our priorities, idk about children. Personally im not a big fan but my father disagrees haha

Before all this? I was over the moon in the idea of her moving here, but that was a premature fantasy of mine, now i feel numb. I mean, i suppose we would have a great time and do things, but nothing gives me joy unfortunately now 🙁

Hey anita

I really dont remember being connected to her, its weird..

Haha i had this thing where i would wanna answer and help everyone too, now not so much.

Today was pretty calmer, my thoughts were like at 40% intensity instead of 150%. I was out for coffee with some friends and i was still thinking in the back of my head “do i like her? why am i not missing her? am i feeling enough? if she messaged me right now would i feel annoyed or not?”.
She did message me later asking me how my day was, when i saw the notification my stomach dropped for some reason, but i think i smiled a little, but i cant trust anything haha. It’s like my head has turned this amazing woman into a “problem to be solved” otherwise i can’t move on with my life. It’s like i refuse to do anything if my feelings don’t return, which is so annoying and unfair 🙁