Do you have any interests? There are communities for everything, from woodworking, dancing, running, quilting, gaming….

You might also want to contact a professional to talk to and who would also know of groups in your area that could help

Yet I feel like a failure for dropping out of the medicine course as it may have been my only opportunity.

I’ve been re-reading ‘The Untethered Soul’ by Michael A. Singer a book that explores the question of who we are. He arrived at the conclusion that “our identity is to be found in our consciousness, the fact of our ability to observe ourselves, and the world around us”.

In other words, you are not your thoughts, you are not your mind, you are not your body, you are not your experiences, you are not your feelings, you are not your memories… You are consciousness that observes thoughts, mind, body, feelings, experiences, memories…  (The authentic ‘I’ is the still point from which all things move,  call it Buddha consciousness, Christ consciousness, the philosopher stone)

From that perspective, you get to step back and doing so direct your consciousness vice letting it run wild. Consciousness is attracted to ‘loud noises’, fear, anxiety, hope…. but undisciplined will fixate and feed what it fixates on. The practice is to learn how to direct our consciousness.

Michael suggests that when we are feeling like a failure that we ask ourselves Who is it that is feeling like a failure. What part of this I is feeling like a failure? If you drill down far enough you will discover this thing you think of as ‘I’ is observing this experience of feeling, and in observing can choose not to let it have a hold on you. (no need to fixate) The Experience was something for you to notice, and once noticed can be allowed to pass through.

We cannot know how our choices may or may not impact our path of experience however knowing that the authentic ‘I’ is the observer there is never failure or loss of opportunity. You are exactly where you need to be for the next experience to happen.

And here is the secret… this place you find yourself moving from is the only place in which you can move from. If your on the wrong foot, the only way to get to the right foot, is by moving from the wrong foot. And when you get to the right foot you know that there was no other way to have gotten there then by having moved through the wrong one.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by Peter.

I know this might sound trite however in such a case.  There is No Try Only Do.

What I mean is that if you want different your going to have to do different and that that will require work.

You mentioned that you have all this unidentified anger that you can’t (as yet) release. You might find working with professional in this area helpful and a good place to start. You will also need to change the language you use when relating to yourself. No more cant’s, no more judging your feelings as being bad or wrong. They are just feelings, information, that once felt can be released.

I like your goal. that when you do learn to master your thoughts and the story you tell yourself you could be of great help to others

With regards to the Law of Attraction. Such a practice requires a lot of work as it must come from the authentic known self.  Most people may want to attract happiness but at some level don’t feel they deserve happiness (if they even understand what happiness is) and so we work against ourselves.

Also, most people that study the Law of Attraction, mistake it for Positive Thinking, and  don’t know that it originates with Hermetic Philosophy that consist of 7 laws

1. Mentalism – The All is mind; the Universe is mental.
2. Correspondence – As above, so below, as below, so above.
3. Vibration – Nothing rests; everything moves; everything vibrates.
4. Polarity – Everything is dual; everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites.
5. Rhythm – The pendulum-swing manifests in everything; the measure of the swing to the right is the measure of the swing to the left; rhythm compensates. There is a time for everything
6. Cause & Effect – Every Cause has its Effect; every Effect has its Cause.
7. Gender – Gender is in everything; everything has its Masculine and Feminine Principles; Gender manifests on all planes. (Masculine and Feminine here is not about being male and female. We all, everything  embody’s the Masculine and Feminine regardless of sex)

The mastery of the seven principles is what allows one to master the “Law of Attraction”

• This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by Peter.
• This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by Peter.

One of the purposes of Relationships is to act as a container were we workout the issues that keep us from becoming our authentic selves. The relationship should provide a safe place to make our issues conscious so that we might deal with it. Often, we will find that our past, (past hurts, expectations, hopes…) is in the present and influencing the relationships in various ways that we may not be aware of. (The TV show ‘This is Us’ has many good examples of how the past is in the present and how the characters deal with them in order to grow) If we never make the founding issues conscious then we will just keep replaying/recreating the dramas/fights until the relationship ends. It is often the pain of a relationship ending that is Love’s last attempt to get our attention.

If you have found yourself repeating patterns within the relationships then you might want to take some time for yourself and examine what it is that you really want and how your going about getting it.  In Relationship we assume we know what we mean when we use words like Love and the expectations we have about love yet very few people take the time to examine their role in love…

“Most people think of love as a feeling, but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.”  How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving by David Richo  (very much recommend this book)

Feeling Bad for Bad, feeling guilty for feeling guilty… I get it and it a lousy loop to get stuck in.

The first step is stop. Stop by noticing that feeling bad abut feeling bad, guilty for feeling bad can only dig the hole deeper.

Your feelings are valid. You matter, Your feelings matter.  You don’t have to apologize for how you feel.  Feelings are information that can help you respond to a situation vice react to it. You don’t have to wield your feelings like a sword, you hurt me so I will hurt you… but can use them to understand who you are and what you need.

You have had a lot of shocks to the system and it is reasonable for you to ask for and take time to sort though them. A professional could really help. There is no shame in asking for help.

I wish you all the best

The Law of Attraction requires authenticity, to they own self be true, so if your unhappy, your unhappy… add to that the difficulty in knowing our authentic selves.    Its to easy to fall down the rabbit hole with the philosophy of LOA so would not spend much time thinking about it.  Just be you, as best as you can be.

If the house is a symbol of Self – The house that the uncle being small could indicate that you might be feeling confined trying to live in a self that is not yours and to small.  Teachings and learning holding you back instead of expanding you. Because of this a part of you may feel like no one “sees” you, your authentic self – perhaps pretending to be someone you’re not. (You may not even be aware of this part of yourself that wants to be expressed)

The dead ends indicate a problem connecting to your house/self and that some thinking or feeling is blocking you.

The solution is a new perspective, perhaps stop running and hop a fence or two and go around the houses. You don’t have to face this issue head on

If the dream was mine I would say that I was experiencing tension between what I was taught to think, and beliefs I inherited about how Life should/must be – with my experience of life. And or perhaps my thinking and beliefs might not align with how I’m living and what I do. My actions not matching my words

In order to belong and be accepted by my community/family I might be resisting making the tension conscious. Repressing the authentic self… going along to get along and avoiding any confrontation. This issue tends to be associated with identity (who am I if I rejected by our community…) which is why the ego (small i) might fear it – with the subconscious expressing that fear as being hunted by killer.

Hi Peace Hawk

I very much recommend ‘The User Illusion: Cutting Consciousness Down to Size’ – by Tor Norretranders It’s a philosophical and scientific study of the idea of life experience being an illusion

In Much of Buddhist philosophy you will hear the words that are similar, that the life is an illusion.

“We live in illusion and the appearance of things. There is a reality. We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all.” ― Gautama Buddha – That is of course a paradox and so difficult to understand but I believe it to be a truth.

Our ability to “see” and be fully conscious of each moment, each now, is limited and so we fill in the gaps through the filters of our desire, fears hopes, beliefs, faith… and create illusion, a user illusion. A goal of Buddhism is to become conscious (Enlightened) were the now is experienced as it is without filters. (If we do so we become enlightened and maybe conscious of the unconscious (another paradox) and know that everything we ‘though’ was real was not real but an illusion of our own making)

In scientific terms, ego Conscious is limited. Ego Consciousness can process about 8 to 16 bits of information a second where as our body (unconscious) process millions of bits of information a second. We see more then we ‘see’, hear more then we ‘hear’ know more then we ‘know’….  If ego concourses had to be aware and control everything the body needs to live we would all die.  (the unconscious is capable of multi tasking, ego consciousness is not – go ahead try adding two numbers together while reciting a singing a song, you will see that ego consciousness divides time into slices – time division multiplexing. Ego consciences is always directed so you will go from one task to another. You can train yourself to do this so quickly it might look like multi tasking but its not)

So Ego conscious also is linear – to understand and operate in the world the ego conscious breaks down each moment of now into cause and effect. In the Quantum world, everything happens all at once and there is no past, present or future just the now which is not a moment of time but a moment of time and space (not the same thing as time does not exist by isself).  “…for us physicists believe the separation between past, present, and future is only an illusion, although a convincing one.”.” ― Albert Einstein – (sound familiar there is only the now and everything is one we are all one)

Ego conscious as well as being linear is also slow. It takes 0.5+ seconds to process the bits of experience that our consciousness focuses on. In the 0.5+seconds (an eternity) the experience is processed though our filters, our hopes, expectations, dreams, fears, desire…. most of which are unconscious.  This means we never experience the now as it is but only after they pass through our filters and thus create illusion. Interestingly communication technology takes advantage of the fact that we create illusion and fill in the gaps.

Anyway, if one accepts that they are only conscious of a very small portion of the now (of all the now’s occurring simultaneously around the globe) and that they are filling in the gaps, one cannot help but become more compassionate. One realizes that one’s judgments are perceptions, information only, influenced by filters most not of our choosing.  One must continue to act on one truth as one knows it to be in the moment but with compassion and in this way we learn and become. Life is a illusion though we are the reality of it – co-creators with the divine –  If you want to go down the rabbit hole further.

In dream interpretation (depth phycology) each Character (animal, person or even object) in a dream symbolical represents an aspect of the dreamer

In such light the social studies teacher could represent your thinking and feelings about have to be a good citizen as has been thought to you but that you may not as yet made your own – The primary purpose of social studies is to help young people develop the ability to make informed and reasoned decisions for the public good as citizens of a culturally diverse, democratic society in an interdependent world.

A Car is often symbolic of the ideas, hopes, dreams that drives us. How we get to where we want to go. A car can also be symbolic of how we like to be seen moving through the world, sporty, reliable, rich, practical….

In you’re dream the social studies teachings is trying to hurt you by running you over, suggesting a disconnect with what you have learned with how you experience the world or want to.  You escape by running down hill suggesting that this issue won’t be solved by setting lofty goals or reaching some new heights but instead downward into inward self reflection.  You wanted to help others but you can’t help others until you help yourself /know and own your truths which at some level you know.

There is a ‘friendly’ quality of the self that wants to protect you by calling the cops. Cops are often symbolic of the societal rules we live by and enforce. Suggesting an expectation that the societal rules will protect you… yet there may be some conflict between the rules and your ‘Social studies’ expectations.

In the next part of the you’re in your uncle house. A house is often symbolic of the Self as a whole, all the rooms and such represent different qualities or attributes of the dreamer. That the house was not yours points to an issue of the self that you have taken on, Inherited, that you relate to, but may not be yours. When you think about your uncle what are the first things that come to mind? What do you relate suspect does not see you?

Pool is a game of skill and knowing the angles does that remind you of anything?

A gun in a dream can represent as symbol of power, control, aggression and or defence. In the dream, you are being threatened by the killer with the gun suggesting a confrontation. Such confrontations bring about consciousness.   The ego fears death as an end and so often views change as if being killed, hunted by a killer. But death is necessary to life. We must let go of the past, of what’s not working for us so that we might grow and continue becoming. Such letting go is a kind of death.

Its you uncle who is made to get into the truck.… no mention of you being made to get into the truck. In the dream, have you become your uncle at this point?  You are looking to escape but every path so far is a death end.

A Truck is usually used as a work vehicle. Perhaps your tying to work though this issue by “working” your way through it – going up hill – perhaps thinking that if you do what others expected of you, put your noise to the grind stone and bull dog your way though everything will work out) the dream suggesting that this is not the right road to take. “Doing” is not going to help here but ‘being’ might. Taking time to connect to your authentic self and taking ownership of what you believe may be the way. Trust your intuition, learn with an open mind.