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Al

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Viewing 15 posts - 106 through 120 (of 147 total)
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  • in reply to: the real purpose of life #46737
    Al
    Participant

    The purpose of life is to make your own. That means the possibilities are endless. 🙂

    in reply to: Lost. #46726
    Al
    Participant

    Oh Lost,

    Your mind is blossoming. 🙂 Sadly, for some it can be a very painful experience. Please feel some ease in knowing that there are answers. However, they will only make themselves known when they are ready to be known. As to how long this may take will depend on both you and ‘The Grand Scheme’.

    For now, do your best to keep your life balanced. Sure, continue to search regardless of the fact that you’re unsure what to search for but also please make sure not to neglect the daily goings of your life (school, friends, family, future, etc…). As you mature and experience, you will gain the knowledge and insight to help you find answers.

    You’ll do fine, especially if you keep your mind stimulated. It’s only when you stop thinking that you’ll fail. So as frustrating as it is, keep at it but remember to live!

    in reply to: Grief and regret over the loss of 12 yo Rottweiler #46721
    Al
    Participant

    Beth,

    I am deeply sorry for your loss. Though you may not have been there as much for the last 4 years of his life, know that he still led a better life than if you were never to have adopted him. Feel some ease at this distinction.

    Also, dogs are one of the few animals who love us more than they love themselves. Know that your dog would want you to be happy right now. He would not want you to grieve nor want to see you sad therefore honor his death by living as he would want you to. It’s all he would ever want. So forgive yourself because he’s already forgiven you. 🙂 You’ll see each other again eventually. Until then, live a life he’d be proud of.

    in reply to: Completely lost #46720
    Al
    Participant

    Feeling lost is an occurrence I believe happens to near everyone. Finding a meaning or purpose is difficult when at that stage. I remember it quite well. However, your seeking for help implies that innately you believe or want to believe that there’s something out there that makes life worth living; worth experiencing.

    First, I definitely urge you to heed everything sugarcoated stated. It’s all truly wonderful advice, especially the baby steps part. Sometimes, that’s all it takes. I will simply add for you to keep your mind open at this point. It’s important that you allow yourself to be exposed to as much as possible. Don’t shut anything out. Meaning, purpose, inspiration, all these things come in various forms and sizes so please keep observant.

    Second, I advise that you read, watch, listen to as many books, films, shows, podcasts and such on meaning and purpose as time allows you to and allow yourself to dwell on their teachings/messages/guidance. Perhaps, even try to have conversations with older people. They may have some insight for you. And please remember to put effort into it. If it’s important to you to find purpose, then you’ll work hard.

    To steal the words of sugarcoated: hang in there! And from me: don’t give up!

    in reply to: Needing a new start #46717
    Al
    Participant

    You must learn to draw the positives from the negatives. Understand that all of your mistakes happened because they were supposed to. They were meant for you to learn from to help you become a better person so you can establish a better life for yourself. Besides, if you never made mistakes, how could you ever learn? Did Einstein prove all his theories by being correct each and every time? Did Steve Jobs get his company to where it is now by not making any mistakes? Did the Wrights Brothers succeed in engineering an airplane on their very first try? 🙂 You see, we are meant to fail. However, we become better with each failure. An automobile today is better than it was 50 years ago. Same with an airplane, our livelihoods, buildings, science, technology, etc….we progress through failures. Even humanity is better today than it was 100 years ago. It’s progress is slower because it is something of major scale, however, we are more understanding than we were of each others a mere 50 years ago. We are more tolerant, more accepting, more integrated, more open and more loving.

    You, too, must do the same. You must progress through your failures. They’re essential. Without them, you would develop no personality, no traits, no dreams, no goals, no beliefs, no philosophies. You would be a mere blank. Don’t be one. Create something of yourself worth reliving when you are old. Thank all the mistakes you’ve made and the ones you are going to as they’re inescapable. Take them as they come and recognize the lesson in each of them. Do so each time and you’ll enrich your life. I promise.

    Al

    in reply to: could someone help me with my fear of anxiety please? #46716
    Al
    Participant

    I will simply add to what was said. Your mind is exactly like your body. Feed it poorly and it will become unhealthy. Feed it well, however, and it will become healthy.

    When we are untrained, it is easy to spiral down negativity. With guidance and effort, however, we can climb up and overcome negatives over and over again. You must try to constantly entertain positive thoughts. Doing so will help you think more clearly and help place you back on the right path.

    in reply to: Wait or give up? #46714
    Al
    Participant

    In general, we don’t rush important things, correct? Something that is life altering like this should make you want to take your time, no? Rushing may lead to things that may not have revealed themselves yet and that you may not enjoy. Also, I don’t believe his reasons to want to go slow are unwarranted. Please put yourself in his position. If you had been hurt in (a) past relationship(s), would you want to rush back into one or also not want to be guarded?

    For now, I suggest you not worry about the future. Doing so will only distract your mind and conjure unhealthy thoughts when you’re spending time with him. If you are meant to be, everything that is supposed to happen will happen. If not, do not worry as no experience is ever a loss. There is always something to be gained from them. Don’t allow yourself to dwell on things that you’ve no control over, simply enjoy what you’ve been given. It’s rare enough to have been allowed such a spiritual experience, don’t waste it! 🙂

    Al

    in reply to: Minor Roommate Setback #46653
    Al
    Participant

    Being compassionate is difficult at times. Even I cannot give you direct answers as to how to solve the issues with your roommate. Personally, I believe in voicing myself whenever I deem it necessary to eliminate or reduce (further) discord. However, when I find that my words fail, if I am able to control (or change) my environment, I will as a last resort. In your case, I urge you to voice your concerns as kindly as you can. It will then be up to her to heed your words and act accordingly. If not, do not feel any guilt nor obligation to help her for, as you well know, we must all undergo ‘chaotic’ experiences which we must overcome to help us grow. She must make her own path.

    When you believe you’ve done your part and find that you still aren’t able to tolerate your environment then I advise you change it, if possible. Perhaps this experience, too, is a hurdle in your journey that you must overcome. Keep looking at your options. There is always an answers. Good luck.

    Al
    Participant

    I am going to generalize in my answer so please forgive me if it isn’t overly specific to your situation.

    Chaos is a necessary component in our lives. It is there for us to learn from if we open our minds to it. I accept it and understand that it must exist however I wouldn’t mind if all chaos were kept ‘small’ to reduce the suffering imbued on us. With that said, do your best to learn from what you’ve experienced. Anything gained from chaos will only help you on your path to its counterpart: order. Analyze the actions you took, recognize the ones you believed were ‘destructive’ so that you may avoid repeating them in the future. With that said, come to the understanding that this event happened to help you become better.

    This is all the poor advice I have to offer. Good luck.

    Al
    Participant

    My beliefs resonates with Jeff’s. I would rather pursue my passion of running a small ramen shop, concentrating on making the perfect ramen dish, than making millions being a CEO of a large corporation. Also, you are not 32 years old, you are 32 years young. 🙂

    *Note* ~ I do not really wish to run a ramen shop, though the prospect doesn’t sound uninteresting. lol

    in reply to: scared of myself #46570
    Al
    Participant

    My dear Hannah,

    You are trying to abide by society’s standards. Don’t. Abide by your happiness first and always (while trying your best to remain considerate of others, of course). You, like the sheer majority of us, have been led to believe to be instantly capable as soon as you became an adult. A misplaced discipline, unfortunately. Truth is no one really knows what they’re doing, they are only ever trying. However, if we remain determined, some of us find something meaningful to live up to AND for. You must do the same. Once you do, your drive to obtain your goal will eradicate all the fears within you. I’m sure, however, that you need will need more detail.

    In overcoming your fears: along with the above-mentioned, you must learn to see and feel your very being in others, that they, too, are suffering beings doing the best that they know and can in this existence to obtain happiness. That they share the same fear and hope and want and need and courage and weakness and strength and everything else that you have inside you. You are all one and the same.

    In finding a goal/dream: unless you open your mind and attempt new things, you may never find something worth living for. You must have the will to want and to do so. And, if what you find is important enough then you will make no excuses to chase after it. But where do you begin? You begin with what I often post to others: by experimenting. How will you know if you like acting unless you try it? Or eating artichokes? Or traveling overseas? Or watching live plays? Or knitting? Or roasted sesame ice cream? Etc…so continue to discover (at a comfortable pace to you, of course) until you find something worthy to dedicate your life to. Afterwards, everything will fall into place.

    In being at peace of mind: accept that you do not know all the answers and never will and shouldn’t know it all in the first place. It is much more fun to discover things you never knew anyway, don’t you think? Understand that you must live for yourself, and not others, and you will come to find that by doing so you will have lived for them as well when you do. Take it slow, do not rush, do not feel rushed and do not let yourself be rushed. Life is not meant to live in chaos but in harmony. However, this is something that YOU decide. Mindfully analyze every event that arises in your life before making a decision and be at ease if you do not immediately find solutions for them. The answers will come when they’re meant to so don’t over worry over it. Do your best to recognize ‘happy’ moments and pause to bask in them when they present themselves. Train yourself to recognize all the beauty around you. Doing so will help in garnering positivity. Likewise, do your best to entertain positive thoughts as often as you can. See the positive in any situation.

    Finally, I’ll leave you with this quote, “If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship traveling through the universe.” 🙂 I hope this helps. Good luck.

    in reply to: Under a Spell #46565
    Al
    Participant

    Lana,

    A heart is not to be toyed with. Do you wish to be with someone who will bring harmony to your life or chaos? The matter is as simple as that.

    in reply to: Freaking out this week. #46510
    Al
    Participant

    I agree with Matt. Find yourself a quiet, beautiful and peaceful place to release all the negative energy. Do your best to empty your mind and start over. Prioritize what first needs to absolutely get done. School first, correct? Health can usually wait during the college years (just try to minimize the damage as best you can) 🙂 and you can always tell the boyfriend that you need to concentrate on your exams and to therefore please be patient until they’ve come and gone, no? As far as smarts go, well, you’ve gotten this far, haven’t you? 🙂 If you need belief then just look to your dreams and goals. Believe with absolute certainty that you’ll make them come true and you’ll find the drive to get back your focus.

    You can do it!

    Al

    in reply to: Is there any way to break the cycle? #46505
    Al
    Participant

    I like to be as brief as possible in my answers though that’s not always the case. Please excuse me if you do not find the short answers satisfactory. I just prefer to be as direct as possible if the matter allows for it to avoid confusion.

    A. Anything can be repaired. In relationships, however, it takes two (as you well know).
    B. What do you lose/gain if you don’t repair it/do repair it? Could you live with your answers?
    C. Approach it in a conciliatory tone and manner. Try not to use ‘I’ or ‘you’ but ‘us’ in your conversation(s) instead.
    D. Every relationship is unique. Perhaps you’ve reached a stage where you both need time to reflect on all the recent events. If so, inform him that if he needs time to think you shall patiently wait while you yourself reflect as well.

    I shall add a bit more: you are both young and still learning, perhaps this is something you could bring up. State that you wish to figure this out together, no matter how long it takes, as you find it important for the both of you. Don’t be pushy, keep a gentle tone, don’t reach harshly if he or his words become ill as it will only escalate things. This is where I leave you. I am poor at giving general advice on relationships. I tend to become overly specific and feel as if I’m forcing you to speak my words instead of yours so please forgive me, I only wish the best for my fellow Tiny Buddha family members.

    Best of luck to you,

    Al

    in reply to: Trapped #46502
    Al
    Participant

    It sounds to me like you’re in need to find alternate housing. Perhaps you can post ‘looking for a roommate’ on a housing website in your area and continue to practice your patience with what Matt suggested while awaiting an answer. I’d like to add more but I believe this suffices.

Viewing 15 posts - 106 through 120 (of 147 total)