My Mission in Life
Think You’re Not Good Enough? How to Stop Holding Yourself Back
“Stop holding yourself back. If you aren’t happy, make a change.” ~Unknown
Growing up in a culture where physical beauty determines how successful you are in finding a job, a suitable husband, and a promising career, and most importantly, bringing honor to your family reputation, I was a disappointment to my family, especially to my mother.
She was the definition of a perfect beauty—5’6″, slim, big eyes, high-bridged nose, perfect skin, and gifted with charisma. I was the opposite.
As I got older, my mother’s negative words got louder and louder. They were a constant reminder that I wasn’t good …
What Helps Me When I’m Tempted to Compare Myself to Others
“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.” ~Zen Shen
Wow, you’re a bit of a loser compared to this guy, aren’t you, Will?
He’s winning at life—great job, great house, obviously making better money than you.
I sigh deeply and continue scrolling.
He takes care of himself, no Buddha belly, unlike you.
It’s true. I begin to feel like a useless lump. I keep scrolling.
No yellow and crooked teeth, either.
“His teeth are pretty straight,” I think to myself, staring at the guy’s mouth on the screen.
Damn right, they’re …
The Delusion of Separation: We Don’t Need to Feel So Lonely
“The fundamental delusion of humanity is to suppose that I am here and you are out there.” ~Yasutani Roshi
You know those moments? Those brief, fleeting moments that shine through the grey of everyday life like motes of glitter caught in a sunbeam. The moments when you suddenly feel a connection to the world around you, when the quotidian alienation of modern life falls away and color pulses back in.
Walking through the torpor of another generic day, the background static of depression distorting the colors of the world, I often don’t realize I’m on a downward spiral until I …
9 Things Grateful People Believe About Life
*This post was originally published at the end of 2015. Since this was around the time I decided to create my newly launched gratitude journal, it seemed fitting to share it again today!
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more.” ~Melody Beattie
My title was a little misleading, at least based on my personal beliefs.
I don’t believe the world fits neatly into some massive yin yang with grateful people on one side and ungrateful people on the other; but rather, we all go through times when we feel high and …
Why We Procrastinate and How to Finally Do What You’ve Been Putting Off
“Low key change helps the human mind circumnavigate the fear that blocks success and creativity.” ~Robert Maurer
I’m currently working on my doctoral dissertation. It’s something I’ve been working on for many years. It’s something that I deeply believe in and want to complete, but I’m also the mom of two small kids and I run my own business.
Making time for to work on my thesis is low down on my priorities.
And for years I’ve been able to justify it to myself that I don’t work on it as much as I should because I don’t have the …
How My Drive to Succeed Led to Crippling Anxiety (And How I Got My Life Back)
“The only way out is through.” ~Robert Frost
The suffocating pressure from being obsessively focused on achievement and improvement led to escalating stress and anxiety over the years, but I ignored my feelings and kept attacking my goals.
Over time it became darker and heavier. It became crippling. It forced me to put a stop to almost everything in my life.
I’m a type A personality driven by a need for accomplishment. When I was in elementary school, I did my homework immediately after getting home even though my mom begged me to take a break. In high school, I …
Are You Really Listening? 4 Ways to Understand and Connect with People
“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” ~Ralph G. Nichols
My partner and I were in our first few months of a long-distance relationship. This was a new stage for us and it meant altering our communication practices. Instead of sharing meals and museum exhibits, we had weekly emails and Skype chats.
Every week, I would pour my heart into long, detailed emails to him. I would describe everything that I had done and thought over the past few days.
On …
The Miscarriage: Why My Heart Feels Full In Spite of My Loss
“Suddenly you’re ripped into being alive. And life is pain, and life is suffering, and life is horror, but my god you’re alive and it’s spectacular.” ~Joseph Campbell
They say all feelings have a beginning, a middle, and an end.
The truth is that I’m still in the middle part, but I felt like it was time to share this story with you—not just for me, but for all women who have faced this and for all women who have made a plan and then surrendered as the plan changed.
Two months ago, I had a miscarriage.
The pregnancy …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 