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Search Results for "inner child" — 727 posts

What Helped Me Forgive Myself and Honor My Needs

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“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and realize that prisoner was you.” ~Lewis B. Smedes

Have you ever tried to forgive someone who hurt you, and despite your best efforts, it was just too hard? So you beat yourself up because you were not able to forgive, and the pain was still there?

I spent years trying to forgive others.

I tried to forgive a family member for abusing me as a child.

I tried to forgive my primary school teacher of seven years for constantly hammering that even though I was a straight-A student, I wasn’t …

7 Ways to Live a Less Fearful, More Peaceful Life

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“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when adults are afraid of the light.” ~Adapted from Plato

I was digging in my half-empty refrigerator one day, searching for leftovers, when my phone rang. I glared at it wondering who the hell had the nerve to interrupt my hunt for sustenance.

I grabbed the phone with pure agitation and put it to my ear. On the other end of the line I heard a faint voice mutter the three most unforgettable words I had ever heard: “Dad is gone.”

The …

How to Give Yourself and Others the Gift of Happiness

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“It is every man’s obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it.” ~Albert Einstein

My son recently returned home from college with a new demeanor.

He was helpful, considerate, interested in others, and genuinely happy. The change was a far cry from the boy who had left for college just a few short months before.

Don’t get me wrong, he has always been a good kid, but up until now he’s been a typical teenager. He was a bit messy, a bit lazy, and if it wasn’t part of his …

Treat Depression Without Medication: Interview with Jonathan Robinson and Book Giveaway

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Update: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. They are: Marsha Law and Talya Price.

I experienced my first bout of depression at twelve years old, and by seventeen I so frequently felt despondent that my boyfriend questioned if I could go one day without crying. I could not.

My life became a series of self-destructive habits, from binging and purging, to drinking, to cutting myself—the first two to numb my feelings, and the last to feel something, a pain of my own choosing, which somehow felt like relief.

In my senior year of high school, I was …

Keep Hope Alive: How To Help Someone Who’s Struggling

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“He who has health has hope and he who has hope has everything.” ~Proverb

I write this today seemingly healthy.

My doctors say I’m healthy. I feel healthy. I look healthy. But over the last six months this was not the case.

In April of this year I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Melanoma. I am thirty-five years old. I am a wife and a mother to a four-year-old and six-year-old. I have my own business. I am busy. I did not have time for cancer.

But cancer had time for me.

I’ll never forget the day that I got …

When You Fear Emotional Abandonment: Do You Know Your Worth?

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“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” ~Unknown

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free…says Lady Liberty. She was speaking to immigrants wanting to start a new promised life in America, but those words could be my tagline for the men I have had my most intimate relationships with.

If you were broken, emotionally unavailable, complicated, and confused, I was your girl.

I would love you more than you loved yourself, or could love me. 

I would put all my energy in trying to make it work, trying to …

3 Tips to Embrace Imperfections and Bounce Back from Mistakes

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“There is a kind of beauty in imperfection.” ~Conrad Hall

Back when I was a teenager, I was kind of a perfectionist. Or, well, I wasn’t really a perfectionist—I was actually a “fake” perfectionist.

Allow me to explain: I put on the perfectionist persona. I acted and behaved in a certain way so that everyone (including both my fellow classmates and teachers) thought and believed that I was the perfect student when I wasn’t.

Everybody thought I was the student who got straight A’s, was a bookworm, was involved in every extracurricular activity that ever existed, never got in trouble …

Doing What’s Good for Us: What We Need Beyond Discipline

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“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” ~Annie Dillard

When I first engaged spiritual practice, I tried to meditate while counting breaths. “I can’t do this!” I lamented, “It’s too hard.” The green satiny cushion filled with buckwheat chaff felt hard and unforgiving.

My legs ached. I kept checking my watch. My mind ached.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

The watch taunted me, and I did not feel the least bit edified by the experience.

But every few moon phases, I’d try again: half an hour of hellacious discomfort, of shifting in my chair or—if I …

A Mindful Way to Find Relief from the Pain of Envy

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“The more you hide your feelings, the more they show. The more you deny your feelings, the more they grow.” ~Unknown

Envy is such an overpowering and overwhelming feeling, often something hidden, or masked by a smiley face, or fuelled into rage and resentment. I’ve experienced all of these emotions in my life, and as I neared my fortieth birthday, I felt that I could not go on. I was crippled by the “envy story” stuck on repeat mode inside my mind.

As I watched friends and family swoop by me in terms of outer achievements and success, the envy …

Why Uncertainty Isn’t So Bad and How to Embrace It

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“Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible.” ~Mandy Hale

Sitting in the auditorium during orientation, I listened to various deans, distinguished alumni, and student leaders drone on about the rigors of earning a law degree.

There were obligatory mentions of not everyone making it to graduation (or even the end of the first week) and of the intense strain on personal relationships.

But the message I remembered most clearly was about uncertainty.

“You better get comfortable with gray areas. And fast. Because the legal field is not a place …

When You Lack Focus and Direction: Stop Looking for Your “Thing”

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“More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity.” ~Francois Gautier

Isn’t it funny—and annoying and brilliant—how often things turn out to be nothing like we thought they would?

Six years ago I was recovering from a breakdown and reacquainting myself with my long dormant artistic side, and I remember spending a lot of time wondering what my “thing” was.

You know, that one specific thing in this life that I was destined to do to be fulfilled, and ideally from which I would earn a comfortable living.

I had always loved creativity, and particularly art, and …

3 Keys to Jumpstarting Your Life If You’ve Been Living on Hold

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“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole lives waiting to start living.” ~Eckhart Tolle

One key lesson I learned on my journey to developing my business knowledge base is that everything is built from the ground up, and each stage has important lessons for the subsequent stages. Sometimes we are only privy to the first stages.

Other times, we only see the middle and final stages. These are the times when we are wowed at how fast things have happened for others, and we become insecure and worried about the pace of our growth.

No one …

A 10-Step Guide to Uncovering the Wisdom in Anxious Thoughts

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“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” ~Pema Chodron

Contained within your fears is genuine wisdom waiting to be discovered. Don’t underestimate this.

In order to tap into this wisdom, you must interview your fears, meeting them with curiosity and compassion. Allow them to speak their wisdom to you. Listen deeply; get into the details in order pin down exactly what they are trying to communicate. Honor whatever it is you find.

You see, these fears are like little children. They will kick and scream until you meet them with empathy. So do …

How Painful Relationships Can Be The Best Teachers

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“Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” ~Unknown

“This is it,” I thought. I finally found the man I had been waiting for.

Of course, it had taken me thirty-nine years and a painful divorce from my husband of ten years. But that was all worth it, I told myself, because it had led me to the man who seemed to see, understand, and love me the way I had always hoped someone would.

Things were blissful in beginning. We made breakfasts together, took romantic vacations to exotic locations, we fantasized about buying vacation houses. Our developing …

Stop Feeling Powerless and Start Powerfully Creating Your Life

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“You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.” ~Yogi Bhajan

Some might say I was a late bloomer. I only discovered how powerful I really was at twenty-nine.

My childhood and teenage years were horrific; I was severely bullied from when I first walked through the school gates to when I left for the last time. In my early formative years I was laughed at, verbally abused, and completely socially isolated.

I was the equivalent of a lepper. No one wanted to be my friend for fear they would “catch” what I had and be bullied themselves. …

Working on Impatience and Appreciating Its Gifts

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“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” ~Marcel Proust  

It’s taken me a while, but I have finally learned to appreciate aspects of my own impatience.

For a long time I did not like this quality about myself. I am still working on becoming more patient, because impatience and I go way back.

I was impatient to get out of high school, so I fast tracked that whole experience.

I was impatient to get working, so I started working when I was fourteen.

I was impatient to finish university, so …

Releasing Comparisons: No One Is Perfect and We All Deserve Love

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“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

I spent my teenage years and early twenties believing that my weight was my worth; that I had to look and be a particular way to be accepted or loved.

I lived in a negative cycle of comparing myself to everyone. I remember sitting in on one of my lectures in university, trying to work out if my lecturer was fatter or thinner than me.

I look back now and wonder how many times I missed the fun and parties I was too scared to go to because I felt too …

Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability and Unlocking Your Power

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“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” ~Criss Jami

Wanting to avoid pain and shield ourselves from it is natural—and, by the way, completely not possible, because as we close up to protect ourselves against pain, we also block out the light that reflects from it.

Despite our best efforts, the boundaries that we’ve built around our hearts to protect us from feeling pain, discomfort, and hurt are the very chains that keep us tethered to it, disallowing us from feeling the opposites—joy, love and passion.

Only in embracing …

How Meditation Can Help You Find the Perfect Friend

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“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I meet with a lot of people who say things like, “Oh, I’ve tried meditation before but I’m just not good at it.” When asked to explain, the most common answer is, “I just can’t make my mind get quiet.”

I’ve heard responses like this so often that I’ve come to realize that this is the single greatest misunderstanding about meditation. In truth, meditation is not about calming our mind or achieving a state free …

Are You Missing Out on Life While Checking Your Smartphone?

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“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

“Yeah…Uh huh…Uh huh…Yeah…No way! Uh huh.”

This was the response I got when talking to a friend the other day. I could tell he wasn’t really listening, because he was browsing Facebook at the time.

Why was his smartphone more important than me? It didn’t used to be this way.

I know I’m at risk of sounding out-of-touch and technophobic. But I really do think this is a much bigger problem than we perceive.

We’re talking about our lives here. …