We Can Have Peace
Why I Won’t Tell You to Stop Caring About What Other People Think
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” ~Mark Twain
I almost didn’t dye the tips of my hair purple a couple years ago because I was so worried about what other people might think. While changing my hair color was something new for me, basing my decisions on other people’s opinions was not.
I tend to look to others for clues about how I should think and act. Sometimes this shows up in small things, like opinions about movies, music, or clothes. Even when asking big life questions, however, my first impulse is often to wonder what …
Are You Showing Up in the World as Your Best Self?
“Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.” ~Robert Kennedy
Many years ago, I had the opportunity to take a yoga class at San Quentin State Prison in Northern California.
I had visited the prison before, attending other classes, with inmates, on anger management and a class based on …
How to Feel Good In Your Skin: 7 Powerful Lessons on Beauty
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” ~Proverb
I struggled with body image for years while I was living in Europe because I have a very fair complexion, oily skin, and thin hair.
During my childhood, people would look at me and comment on how pale I looked and ask my mother if I was anemic. Later on, as I was growing up, people who met me would ask if I was ill, or they would say that I look exhausted, tired, and weak.
It was most difficult during the summers, when there was always a social pressure …
Why We Shouldn’t Force Advice on People & What Actually Helps
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” ~Stephen R. Covey
This is a post about listening.
I know it’s really unsexy. It’s a topic that’s like the sun; nobody looks directly at it. But you want to create deep and lasting connections with others, and real changes for your loved ones, right?
Right. Stick with me.
Think about your typical day. How often do you listen in a conversation with others without being fully present?
Go on, be honest.
You find that you float in and out of awareness. Certain …
Why Insecurity & Approval-Seeking Lead to Unhealthy Relationships
“Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.” ~Robert Holden
As a child I was carefree and enthusiastic. Aren’t most kids? At some point, though, life began to impact me and to affect how I felt about myself.
For as long as I can remember, I was a chubby kid. I began using food as a means of coping, and my family didn’t seem to see it as an issue. Coming from an Italian family, food was correlated with love.
As I moved into my adolescent years, being chubby was no longer “cute,” and other …
7 Clues You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship
“You don’t let go of an unhealthy relationship because you stop caring about them. You let go because you finally start caring about you.” ~Charles Orlando
Most of us have experienced the pain of being in an unhealthy relationship.
It took me a long time to admit that I was in one. When I finally took off the rose-tinted glasses, I saw my relationship for what it was: an exhausting, lonely experience, with no real long-term benefits, that sucked the life out of me.
I recognized that the relationship was causing me to feel worse about myself, not better, resulting …
Two Lists You Need to Make If You Want to Be True to Yourself
“If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.” ~Alexander Hamilton
For over a decade I worked as a paralegal in the corporate world. I worked hard, and I was a dedicated employee, but I was treated poorly by my superiors.
After a decade of working in this industry I felt lost, without purpose, and I constantly dreaded the next day when I would return to my job.
One day, an attorney that I had worked for came into my office and screamed at me, leaving me in tears.
At that moment I politely shut my office …
How to Speak to Someone About an Unspeakable Loss
“It’s not about saying the right things. It’s about doing the right things.” ~Unknown
Years ago, my family and I moved to a bucolic little town in New Zealand, where we were immediately swept up into a group of ex-pats and locals. We felt deeply connected to this community by the time I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in the local hospital.
When our son was three months old, a doctor heard a heart murmur. Twenty-four hours later, he died.
In the days and weeks that followed, I wandered in my own fog of grief as I went …
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