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Search Results for "inner child" — 728 posts

Relationships Should Complement Our Identities, Not Define Them

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“On a deeper level you are already complete. When you realize that, there is a playful, joyous energy behind what you do.” ~Eckhart Tolle

The first rain after a long draught gets people talking about cozy things. Being with others, being physically close to others, going out in groups, staying in with someone. Sharing affection. Cold weather seems to always entail groups and partnerships.

What about when those groups and partnerships are missing from the tableau? The other night I was sitting in my apartment with my lanterns on, some incense burning, and some good reading material. The rain was …

8 Tips to Move Beyond Envy and Start Thriving

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“Envy was one of the most potent causes of unhappiness.” ~Bertrand Russell

Everyone feels it. Envy is universal. I can trace my first feelings of envy to my childhood. I grew up with six sisters, each one taller and thinner than I was. On top of that, they all had pretty, long, thick hair. Mine was thin, fine, and unruly. I wore a bra as early as fifth grade. They didn’t need one until high school.

I had a bad case of sister envy. Once, when I was mad at my oldest sister, I actually imagined taking scissors to her …

6 Tips to Find Your Bliss So You Can Follow It

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“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama

I’m betting you’ve heard the advice to “follow your bliss.” While I find there to be much value in those words, I submit that this mindset can become a trap.

It’s not the bliss I have an issue with. It’s the part about following.

If you are going to follow your bliss, the supposition is that you already know what it is. Maybe you do, and maybe you don’t. Yet.

When I was in my early twenties, my mother invited me to join …

Book Giveaway and Author Interview: 52-Week Life Passion Project

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Note: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

It’s not easy to do something you’re passionate about for work—and not only because it’s hard to discover your passion or find a job to leverage it.

Once we know what we love to do, we then need to work through all kinds of limiting thoughts, beliefs, and fears that may prevent us from taking action. Then we need to decide what that action should be—how …

Create Peace by Imagining a World Beyond It

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“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” ~Dalai Lama

What comes after peace? Have you ever stopped to think about this?

We spend so much of our time and energy working to attain both inner and global peace, but have we ever stopped to think about what this really means?

What is on the other side of peace?

Twice in my life, I have broken a board with my bare hand.

There is one simple rule to this technique. You must not focus on breaking the board but rather on breaking through …

Overcoming Anxiety: Moving from Fear to Presence

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“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” ~Nelson Mandela

When I was a trainee teacher at a Cambridge University, I attended one of the oldest, most sought-after colleges, where most of the other graduate students were astrophysicists and economists, and 90% male.

They also seemed to come from families that were in some way related to the Queen of England, whereas I was a young, pregnant, trainee high school teacher whose nearest connection to Queens was owning a Freddie Mercury single, and I was a little shy.

Formal college dinners were a …

6 Steps to Release Your Fear and Feel Peaceful

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“We are not what we know but what we are willing to learn.” ~Mary Catherine Bateson

It was a balmy spring morning and I started my day as per usual, but I soon realized that my mind was entertaining fearful thoughts about my financial insecurity.

With many new ventures within the seedling stage, my income flow was erratic and unpredictable, while my financial responsibilities were consistent and guaranteed. At the time I ignored these thoughts as “petty,” like a parent dismissing a crying child after a mild fall on the pavement.

What I didn’t realize was that my mind wanted …

35 Simple Ways to Be Beautiful

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“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.” ~Sophia Loren

Even though I got Joey McIntyre from The New Kids on the Block to sign my scoliosis back brace in the sixth grade, I still felt ugly wearing it.

I didn’t realize the irony back then, but in retrospect it seems a little funny that I grew crooked considering I convinced myself I was wilting in my sister’s shadow. (I also had braces and headgear, but that’s another story.)

I was a kid who wanted to be beautiful, but more desperately …

Being Grateful for the Imperfect Present

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“If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” ~Oprah Winfrey

I live in an old house.

It is 212 years old this year, to be exact.

We’ve added onto it over the years so it presents itself as more youthful than its age. The old bones remain, though, as well as many of the quirks. Those “quirks” give it character, right? It’s much like my emerging crow’s feet give my face character.

That’s the positive spin on crow’s feet, at least.

We have uneven floors, to the point where most of our furniture is …

We Belong When We Connect with Each Other

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“When you live on a round planet, there’s no choosing sides.” ~Wayne Dyer 

Te holiday season is a time to connect with others, to celebrate our common humanity, even if the holidays we celebrate are different.

Instead sadly people all over the world are still taking sides. They seek to identify with one “side” or another (tribe, culture, religion, politics, nationality). They seek to belong by being distinct from others.

They seek to belong by hating the other side, sometimes by killing the other side.

But finding identity in reinforcing our differences will never give us a true sense of …

7 Tips To Help You Slow Down and Enjoy Your Life As It Is

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“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” ~Gandhi

I have always been a person who wants to be one step ahead. I think my parents would say that I liked to push the boundaries. I wanted to experience many things, and I wanted to experience them quickly.

When my brother went to sleep-away camp, I had to go the next year despite being three years younger than him.

At age thirteen I had to ski with the older kids, racing faster and harder than I was ready for.

When I was fifteen I pushed to take a trip …

Buy Less: Take the Fear and Compulsion Out of Shopping

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by Lori Deschene

“Throw moderation to the winds, and the greatest pleasures bring the greatest pains.” ~Democritus

Around the holidays we tend to talk more about consumerism. Especially knowing that Black Friday started even earlier than usual this year (on Thursday night), a lot of us feel that our consumption has gotten out of hand.

Many people I know have suggested we should curb our impulse to buy and only purchase necessities, but I can’t help but wonder if perhaps the solution is less about extremism and more about moderation.

Making a drastic change can seem appealing when we’re frustrated …

5 Tips to Help You Embrace Extreme Change

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“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance” ~Alan Watts

My obsession at an early age became to follow my heart—a life’s search for meaning, adventure, and enlightenment.

This search has been remarkable, a journey that has brought me to fascinating places for extended stays (Japan, the UK, Australia, you name the place) and has led me to relationships with some of the most interesting, loving people from around the globe.

As exhilarating the feeling of following your heart can be, it’s not always the yellow brick …

10 Ways to Get Happy

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“Happiness depends upon ourselves.” ~Aristotle

I think having lived in 3 different countries, traveled to 21, studied 5 languages, had 17 different job titles, taken 36 courses (in social media, getting in touch with my intuition, sexual psychology, journalism, marketing, and spiritual guidance, to name a few subjects), given birth to 3 healthy kids (1 boy and 2 girls), lost 1, and suffered through 3 broken relationships has given me some insights in life.

But also, having been part of 1 religious group and managed to get out, done some serious soul searching, written 393 articles, surrounded myself with 5 …

Be More by Doing Less: Removing the Distraction of Busyness

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“It’s not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?” ~Henry David Thoreau

Growing up I didn’t think much of myself. I grew up poor, and spent much of my childhood alone. My father wasn’t around and my mother worked full-time, so I had to look out for myself from a very young age. This created emotional baggage, which I carried for many years.

Even though things started rocky, I was committed to myself and consciousness at an early age. I always felt like I knew there was something greater out there, …

5 Ways to Validate Yourself: Be Part of Your Support System

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“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise L. Hay

We all have techniques we depend on to lift our spirits when we’re feeling down about ourselves or our lives.

A while back I realized something about the ones I’d found most effective when struggling to forgive or accept myself: Many of them involved seeking validation from other people.

Some of my most effective mood-boosters included:

  • Reading emails from readers who’d benefitted from my writing
  • Calling loved ones and reminding myself of how much they valued me
  • Sharing
…

The Surprising Secret to Being on Time

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“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

For many years, the only way I knew to get from one place to another was to rush. I was chronically “running late.” In fact I couldn’t conceive of managing time in any other way. I usually would get to an appointment in the nick of time, but never without a rush.

Now, if rushing occurred in a vacuum, perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad. But the truth is, when we rush, it’s not just about moving faster. It’s an entire frame of mind. The world becomes our enemy—a jungle to machete …

Stop Overextending Yourself to Please Others: 6 Simple Tips

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“Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” ~Unknown

In a span of one month, my beloved little red Toyota catches on fire, burning to a molten blob; I land in the emergency room with a ruptured disc after lifting a child out of her wheelchair; and I try a do-it-yourself hair highlighting kit, which leaves me looking, well, think Phyllis Diller.

I feel confused. I have tried so hard to do all the right things. How could my life have gotten so off track?

I am in the grip of a disorder some people might call manic …

20 Ways Life is Amazing (Even When it Hurts)

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“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” ~Anne Frank

I have a confession to make: The last few weeks have been some of the hardest I’ve lived through in my entire life—but not for the reasons you’d think.

Thankfully, all of my family is safe and sound. Today is actually my grandmother’s 80th birthday, and we’re having a wonderful dinner to celebrate her life.

My husband and I have just moved into a beautiful new home and are ecstatic to finally have a little nest of our own. I …

Go Ahead and Care—It Won’t Break You

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“What you do have control over is how you react to what happens in your life.” ~Oprah

How vulnerable it is to care deeply.

Because, oh God—the white-hot shame of caring, and having your caring exposed when it doesn’t happen despite your best efforts?

Humbling.

The thing I wanted most since I was a little girl was to be a published writer. Published, as in bound book in hand, “by Kate Swoboda” on the cover. 

As a child, I spent hours writing books—real books, from beginning to end, sometimes illustrating them with pictures.

I majored in English with a writing …