You Are Not Grown Until…
5 Things I Did Because I Didn’t Feel Good Enough and What I Do Now Instead
“You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise Hay
Since I was a little girl, I believed there was something fundamentally wrong with me.
So I was always trying to find a way to fix myself and be worthy. To feel good enough.
No baby is born thinking they aren’t worthy, and neither was I—or you.
This came from our early beginnings.
I had a very traumatized dad, who I now understand was struggling with his own pain from his childhood.
He would lose his temper …
Handling Lifequakes: How to Navigate the Storms of Change
“How you revise, rethink, and rewrite your personal narrative as things change, lurch, or go wrong in your life matters a great deal.” ~Bruce Feiler
It’s happened to all of us.
Just when life is going smoothly, a big, scary event comes along that threatens to ruin everything.
A frightening diagnosis, a relationship breakup, the death of a loved one, a job loss, or the COVID-19 pandemic.
Your life gets turned upside down when you least expect it.
I don’t know about you, but my life has been full of significant life changes over the last ten years: my …
How to Overcome Relationship Conflict with the Internalized Other Practice
“You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself.” ~John Steinbeck
In the early stages of my relationships, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what the other person was thinking. Hours of pondering whether they liked me, over-analyzing every text message, and worrying that every fight meant it was over.
Over time, in a good long-term relationship, these challenges settle down. While longevity is not the only marker of a successful relationship, feeling safe and comfortable with someone over a decent stretch of time is undoubtably lovely. All those fear-based worries and insecurities fade,
How Replacing Worry with Gratitude Turned My Whole Life Around
“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” ~Willie Nelson
You know you’re not living the life of your dreams when you’re doing mundane things like brushing your teeth, doing laundry, getting dressed, or preparing a meal, and your constant thoughts are “Oh, we need more toothpaste or laundry detergent, but we can’t get either right now. Money’s too tight.” Or “We should get more milk and lettuce, but we have to put that money toward our utility bill so our lights don’t get turned off.”
This train of thought started to be the norm for me …
I Forgive Forcefully (An Act That Takes Great Strength)
“You don’t have to rebuild a relationship with everyone you have forgiven.” ~Unknown
“Forgive” and “forcefully” are not two words I have ever joined together before.
My idea of forgiveness involved kind and gentle meekness.
Goodness.
Altruism.
Compassion.
But never forcefulness.
Well, not until I waded through the choppy waters of forgiveness after I had the courage to leave my abusive marriage.
Forgive is a Verb
Forgiving isn’t an emotion. It’s an action. It’s a process that has no time limitation or expiration date.
It can’t be ordered, demanded, or rushed.
When I first discovered that my husband had been …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 