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Search Results for "inner child" — 726 posts

The Powerful Realizations That Helped Me Heal from Chronic Illness

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“No one is more influential in your life than you are because no one talks to you more than you do.” ~Dr. Paul David Tripp

Living with chronic illness can seem like an insurmountable challenge. I felt completely broken and helpless. Amidst my tumultuous journey, I found that mindset is critical to restore vitality.

For years I dealt with debilitating fatigue, severe joint pain, vertigo, loss of balance, and sleepless nights. I pleaded for help over and over, usually in tears. Oftentimes, people blamed my physical symptoms on my mental health. “You need to get more sleep.” “You are probably …

What Toxic Shame Feels Like: 9 People Share Their Experiences

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“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I change.” ~Carl Rogers

My heart races as I raise my hand, eager to contribute yet terrified of the attention it brings. When the teacher picks me, the entire classroom turns toward me, putting me in the spotlight. I feel exposed. Shame floods over me like hot lava, twisting my stomach into knots and flushing my face with heat. I try desperately to stop it, but the throbbing intensity only grows. 

I mutter words I can barely comprehend, feeling like a stranger in my own

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3 Simple Steps to Create More Joy in Your Life

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“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ~Carl Jung

“Should I move back?” was the question I asked myself. It was 2018, and I had moved to Berlin eight months prior. And everything had gone wrong. So wrong.

I moved here for a relationship, but that relationship ended. I also moved for different work but found myself in a toxic environment. I had very little support from the community after my relationship ended. And I found myself horribly ill and in a hospital.

The easy thing to do would have been to move back to London. It was still

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Finding Magic in the Dreams That Didn’t Come True

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“Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us.” ~Steven Pressfield

I was born a decade too late in 1975 in a small Pennsylvania town. By the time I was old enough to buy a record, the legendary rock and roll culture of the 1960s and 70s was a distant memory. To some, it might have even seemed uncool by then. But to me, a teen in the late 80s, the era of sex, drugs, and rock and roll was everything.

I spent hours writing song lyrics in my flowered journal, watching MTV, …

Try This Fun Little Phrase to Immediately Boost Your Joy

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“Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.” ~Karl Barth

I had no way of knowing when I went to visit my brother’s family that summer in 2019 that my three-year-old niece would say seven words that would forever change my relationship with joy.

It was July and predictably steamy in Georgia where his family lives. I was visiting to meet my newborn nephew, and the stifling heat kept us all inside for most of my stay.

The second morning after I arrived, I was spending time with my younger niece and keeping her entertained. My older niece was at a …

5 Ways to Cope When Faced With Sudden Caregiving

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“There are only four kinds of people in the world—those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.” ~Rosalynn Carter, Former First Lady of the United States

The call reminded me of an old TV commercial for a medical alert device. Only this was real.

“Mom fell down and broke her hip,” my sister said. “She’s in the hospital waiting for surgery. I’m freaking out about Dad. He shouldn’t be living alone!”

Wait. What?

What’s up with Dad?

After more conversation, and once the initial shock subsided, I …

Finding Home: The Magic of Feeling Seen and Heard

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“The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place to go where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” ~Maya Angelou

In 2019, I found myself in a psychiatric institution sitting across from a psychologist who was grilling me about why I was there. She seemed angry.

I told her how heartbroken I was that no one “believed” the physical symptoms I was dealing with, caused by chronic illness and benzodiazepine withdrawal. I told her how my nervous system had been hijacked, and I could not control the terror I felt daily. I told …

3 Popular Myths Around Having and Healing Anxiety

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“Never fear shadows. They simply mean there’s a light shining somewhere nearby.” ~Ruth E. Renkel

Before I started healing my anxiety, I thought there was something seriously wrong with me. Every panic attack, every morning filled with dread, every social event that I would mentally prepare myself for made me feel like I had some inner deficiency that no one else had.

I used to work as a cashier at a grocery store and would avoid hanging out with people twenty-four hours before my shift. Yep. That means if I worked on Saturday morning, I wouldn’t hang out with …

5 Big Lessons I Learned After Losing a Legacy Friend

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“You can’t force anyone to value, respect, understand, or support you, but you can choose to spend your time around people who do.” ~Lori Deschene

There’s a term in IT called “legacy systems.” These are computer systems that are ancient and abysmally outdated yet are kept around because organizations have centered some of their operations around them.

The exercise to replace a legacy system is challenging and possibly even painful because of the interwoven network of dependencies placed on these systems—but it’s not impossible.

The benefits of replacing a legacy system with one that is aligned with the current operational …

How to Process Intense Feelings with Mindfulness: 4 Powerful Steps

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“Feelings come and go, like clouds in the sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to find ourselves caught in a whirlwind of intense emotions.

Whether it’s the stress of looming deadlines, the anxiety of an uncertain future, or the frustration of unexpected setbacks, intense feelings often hijack our mental well-being, leaving us feeling drained and powerless in their wake.

In such moments, our instinctual response is often to either suppress these emotions or allow them to dictate our actions, leading to a cycle of reactivity and emotional turbulence.

Growing up, …

Emotionally Overwhelmed? 5 Simple Practices That Can Help

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“Whatever you’re feeling, it will eventually pass. You won’t feel sad forever. At some point, you will feel happy again. You won’t feel anxious forever. In time, you will feel calm again. You don’t have to fight your feelings or feel guilty for having them. You just have to accept them and be good to yourself while you ride this out. Resisting your emotions and shaming yourself will only cause you more pain, and you don’t deserve that. You deserve your own love, acceptance, and compassion.”  ~Lori Deschene

One cry a day. I have used this four-word phrase to defend …

Why I Love My Anger and How It Can Be a Force for Good

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“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.” ~Eckhart Tolle

“I don’t know why I’m so angry,” my mother said.

It was 3 a.m., and my mother was standing outside my door. I had awoken suddenly to hear feet stomping up and down the hallway on one of my last visits to my childhood home before dementia and breast cancer really took hold of her.

“Phht, me either.” I tried to empathize, but inside of me rose my own fear and anger, as my siblings and I had watched her decline over the years, yet at the same time, …

Why I Sense Threats Everywhere and Panic All the Time

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“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves.” ~Bessel A. van der Kolk

I have a prescription for Lorazepam.

After coming home from picking up my first ever bottle from the pharmacy several years ago, I threw the bottle at the wall and cried.

I used …

Think You Need to Prove Your Worth? A Simple Exercise That Might Help

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“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone.” ~Maya Angelou

A few years ago, I operated on the belief that my worth was tied to what I could offer others. If I couldn’t assist with job opportunities, provide transportation, or support someone in some way, I didn’t see the point of forming a connection.

This mindset stemmed from a period in my life when I was married to someone battling drug addiction. He often remarked, “Without you, I’d probably be in jail or dead,” and deep down, I knew it was true. It was a perfect match, …

How I’ve Learned to Stop Running from Things That Scare Me

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“The beautiful thing about fear is when you run to it, it runs away.” ~Robin Sharma

At the age of eighteen, I started running. It was a rainy night, and to get home quicker from the gym, I began to run. As I approached a park about a mile from my house, I decided to run around it rather than going straight home.

It wasn’t a conscious decision but felt natural and necessary.

The rain had gotten a bit heavier, but I wasn’t worried. All I could focus on was the lack of internal heaviness as I ran. That lack …

How I Found My “Why” in Life After Struggling for Years

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“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.” ~Gautama Buddha

Each time I start a new course, training, or venture, the teacher or leader asks me “why?” “Why are you here?” “Why are you taking this course?” “What’s your ‘why’?” “What’s your purpose?”

And I’m never prepared.

You’d think by now, after all the years of working on myself and studying, I would have an answer on the tip of my tongue.

Yet, I find “why” to be a difficult question to answer.

I have wondered, “Do I really not …

A Little-Known Truth About People-Pleasing and How to Stop (for Good)

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“Being a people-pleaser may be more than a personality trait; it could be a response to serious trauma.” ~Alex Bachert

Growing up in a home, school, and church that placed a lot of value on good behavior, self-discipline, and corporal punishment, I was a model child. There could have been an American Girl doll designed after me—the well-mannered church girl with a nineties hairbow edition.

I was quiet and pleasant and never got sent to the principal’s office. Complaining and “ugly” emotions were simply not allowed. Though I was very rambunctious and “rebellious” as a toddler, all of that was …

Dysfunctional Family Survivors: 7 Myths that Hold Your Healing Hostage

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“I have never known a patient to portray their parents more negatively than they actually experienced them in childhood but always more positively–because idealization of their parents was essential for their survival.” Alice Miller, Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Society’s Betrayal of the Child

If we’re born into dysfunctional families and, by some miracle, manage to recognize there’s something really wrong there, we can end up devoting a huge portion of our time on Earth (if not all of it) to piecemealing a life not defined by the despair and pain we felt as children.

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How a Barbell Helped Me Confront the Harsh Voice Inside my Head

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“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” ~Elbert Hubbard

I’m breathing fast; my heart rate is off the scale. I close my eyes and try to fill my lungs with air. My pulse starts slowing down.

Still forty seconds of rest left, my timekeeper shows. A single drop of sweat is running down my back, tickling me. I open my eyes again and drink a sip of lukewarm water, then I get ready for the next series.

Six down, four to go. This is a good day, I

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3 Reasons Why Putting Yourself First Is Not Selfish

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“It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary.” ~Mandy Hale

I have to start off with how I define the different levels of self-care.

There is what I call surface-level self-care. This would be things like getting your nails done and taking a bubble bath. Very important stuff but not the type of self-care that’s going to help you make the changes on the inside that create change in your outside world.

Then we have deep-level self-care. I define this as working on things like setting …