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Posts tagged with “happy”

Grief Isn’t Something You Live Through, It’s Something You Live With

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“Obstacles do not block the path, they are the path.” ~Zen proverb

I thought the concept of a “cold sweat” was unreal and paradoxical until the evening of August 27, 2014. That was my first cold sweat. My first of a lot of things.

My heart jack-hammered in my chest.

I heard my pulse in my ears.

I gasped for air on my dorm room floor in New York, while my mom tried to calm me down on the other end of the phone in Los Angeles.

“It’s just a panic attack, sweetie. Just breathe deep.”

No, no, no, …

How Mindfulness Is Saving My Relationship

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“Mindfulness is about love and loving life. When you cultivate this love, it gives you clarity and compassion for life, and your actions happen in accordance with that.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

I started meditating and practicing mindfulness more seriously several years ago incorporating it in to my daily routine, initially to help with my anxiety. My practice certainly helped me by leaps and bounds in overcoming my anxiety, but an unexpected side effect has been the impact it’s having on my marriage.

We’ve not been married long, and as many couples before us have experienced, getting accustomed to this new …

Why Remembering You’re Going to Die Is the Best Motivator

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“Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever; you just have to live.” ~Natalie Babitt

Once a month, I visit the local cemetery and walk around. I’m not there to visit anyone in particular. I’m there to remind myself of my own mortality.

And it always wakes me up.

I soak in the energy: I read the simple legacies on the tombstones, from young children to those who made it to 100 years old. I’m not morose. I’m not negative. I’ve simply found the greatest motivational tool in the world, and …

How I Healed from an Eating Disorder and Stopped Hating Myself and My Body

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“Quiet the voice telling you to do more and be more, and trust that in this moment, who you are, where you are at, and what you are doing is enough. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe. Breathe and be patient with yourself and your process. You are doing the best you can to cope and survive amid your struggles, and that’s all you can ask of yourself. It’s enough. You are enough.” ~Daniell Koepke

I remember looking at the nutrition information on the bag of jujubes I had just …

Happily Single: Why Marriage Wasn’t a Good Fit for Me

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“I’m not sad about any of my life. It’s so unconventional. It doesn’t look anything like I thought it would.” ~Edie Falco

I knew what was coming. My co-worker Rose was midway through her second chocolate martini and feeling loose enough at our after-work get-together to stop talking about her marriage and instead, start talking about my non-marriage.

“I don’t get it. Why haven’t you ever been married?” she asked, in a disbelieving tone.

I sighed. “You know, this is the third time you’ve asked me that. Remember? We had that whole conversation about it at the office Christmas …

How I Escaped the Negative Thought Loop That Kept Me Down and Stuck

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“You will never be free until you free yourself from the prison of your own false thoughts.” ~Philip Arnold

Do you ever doubt yourself? As if no matter how hard you try, it’s never enough.

Do you always tell yourself that you could do more? Or that somebody else is doing more, so why aren’t you on their level?

I’m not good enough.

Do you keep your thoughts to yourself because you feel as though your opinion doesn’t matter?

I’m not smart enough.

Or how about when you’re casually scrolling through social media? You see beautiful people taking such …

Your Story Shapes Your Life—and You Can Change It At Any Time

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“Every moment of your life is a second chance.” ~Rick Price

We are constantly telling ourselves stories about who we are and what we are capable of achieving.

These stories are sometimes the nostalgia of once-upon-a-time that whispers longingly to us. The stories can be the remnants of hardened pain that want us to trace over the lines of old scars. They can also be the tales we invent about imagined futures—what we think will happen.

All of the narratives that we repeat to ourselves—both of the fiction and nonfiction varieties—are what we internalize and use to create self-identity.

Wait …

How to Keep Going When Doubts and Fears are Holding You Back

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“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” ~Vincent Van Gogh

I don’t think there is anything more liberating.

At least nothing I’ve experienced at this point in my life.

I’m sure it’s happened to some of you. Probably more times than you can count.

The freedom I’m alluding to here is the moment when you do something that a part of your mind didn’t believe was possible.

Interestingly, the word ecstasy comes from the Greek ekastis, meaning “to step outside of oneself.”

And when …

50 People Share What They’re Grateful to Do Every Day

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At night, when you think about how you spent your day, how often do you focus on all the things you had to do?

I worked. I ran errands. I went to the gym. I made dinner.

And when you tell someone about this kind of day, how often do you do it with a less-than-enthused tone?

I suspect this is the norm for many of us, at least during the workweek.

Commitments, to work and family, can engulf our lives and seem like chores, not choices and chances.

I distinctly remember one day, years ago, when my day felt …

How Getting Dumped Before My Wedding Made Me a Better Person

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“The root of suffering is attachment.” ~The Buddha

Getting dumped a few weeks before my wedding was the most painful experience of my life to date, but how I came through it is the single proudest moment of my life.

When I met with his mother four years after the breakup, she said she’d felt so guilty over these past few years. “I loved you like a daughter, and he’s my son—I never want any of my children to feel that pain.”

I told her I was glad it happened, not for the fact that the breakup needed to …

13 Insights About Relationships That Could Save You A Lot of Pain

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“It’s amazing how quickly someone can become a stranger; it’s even more amazing how quickly someone can become a treasured friend.” ~Unknown

The past six months have been unbelievably difficult for me.

My “normal” life turned upside down and inside out, as my beautiful daughter continues to fight a complex pain condition, which took us all by surprise one bright and sunny Monday afternoon. And literally, in a single heartbeat, just like that, instead of a regular routine day of school, work and afternoon activities, our time was consumed with juggling doctors, hospitals, tests, and specialists—all of us fully devoted …

Life’s Too Short to Be Too Busy: How to Make the Most of Your Time

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“Slow down. Calm down. Don’t worry. Don’t hurry. Trust the process.” ~Alexandra Stoddard

 Heard in the offices across America…

“I’m so busy and have no time!”

“How is it almost 2019 already?!”

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead…”

We’re so focused on the next deadline, getting the next promotion, having the approval of our managers and peers alike that we push, push, push all the time.

Oh, how I can relate! I worked in corporate America commuting into NYC (two hours each way!) as the VP of marketing at a major media company. And I worked… a lot.

When I …

Acknowledging That We’re Not Okay is the Only Way to Make Things Better

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“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your own understanding.” ~Khalil Gibran

There was a time in my life where I felt like everything needed to seem okay.

I had trouble achieving emotional closeness in my relationships, I was unsatisfied in my career, and I struggled with at times severe anxiety and depression. But I was always “okay,” and actually went great lengths to hide any sign that I wasn’t.

I kept myself busy to avoid seeming “lame” by having nothing to do, or perhaps to avoid the feelings that would come up if I had …

How Observing My Emotions Helps Me Let Go of Anger and Anxiety

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“Even when in the midst of disturbance, the stillness of the mind can offer sanctuary.” ~Stephen Richards

One night my four-year-old daughter woke up crying, startling both me and my husband from sleep. He rushed into her room and I came in shortly thereafter, and I immediately got annoyed with how he was handling the situation. I’ll admit this now: I can’t even remember what he did, but in that moment I knew I would have done it differently and it made me feel irritable and angry.

I left the room and went into the bathroom. While I …

Why Moving Didn’t Solve Any of My Problems

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“Wherever you go, you take yourself with you.” ~Neil Gaiman

When I had the chance to relocate to Vancouver some years ago, the opportunity also came with the distinct need to try something new and leave my comfort zone. To be quite honest, I had also become frustrated with many things in my life at the time: work, friendships, relationships including family, and the general “noise” that I felt I couldn’t avoid.

I was beginning to lose my temper more easily. I found excuses to shorten visits with family and friends or to avoid visiting in the first place. …

How to Feel More in Control When Life Gets Overwhelming

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“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” ~Confucius

I’m in the middle of a career transition and it hasn’t been easy. For the first few months after quitting my job—a job which I thought should have been perfect, where I thought I would stay for years—I was paralyzed into inaction regarding anything career-related. I had lost confidence in my own judgment; after all, I had thought that job would be the one and it wasn’t, so did I even really know what I wanted?

This kind of self-doubt makes …

Are You Wasting Your Time?

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“Life is what happens while we’re busy worrying about everything we need to change or accomplish. Slow down, get mindful, and try to enjoy the moment. This moment is your life.” ~Lori Deschene

I was on my way to work. At the time I worked at a bar. It was a Thursday night and my shift started at 8:50 PM. I was running late. I was in a hurry. It happened a block away from my job.

The green light changed and the world stopped. The next thing I remembered I was waking up in an ambulance. The paramedics asked …

No Piece of Advice Is Right for Everyone, at All Times

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“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain ability to function.” ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

Ever been inspired by a quote or an article you read on a self-improvement site like Tiny Buddha?

I mean so inspired that you instantly and wholeheartedly started to apply the advice—no questions asked.

Not only that, but in your inspiration, you started to brag about your newfound wisdom to all your friends.

You just couldn’t shut up about this new piece of wisdom!

If a friend was going through …

How I Stopped Feeling Guilty About Doing What’s Best for Me

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“A good rule of thumb is that any environment that consistently leaves you feeling bad about who you are is the wrong environment.” ~Laurie Helgoe

Do you ever worry that if you fulfill your needs you will disappoint others? Do you ever feel guilty for doing what’s best for you?

For years, I felt guilty about taking time for myself. I thought that being alone, away from the rest of the world, meant being selfish. This was especially true in one toxic relationship that kept dragging me down because I was afraid to make a change. As a peaceful, …

3 Things the Dying Taught Me About Living Well

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“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

I am a hospice chaplain.

I provide spiritual care to the dying and their families.

I do this by being present with them. I listen to their fears, worries, joys, concerns, and regrets. I listen carefully to what is said, and attend thoughtfully to what is not said.

When people find out what I do for a living, the reaction is almost universal: “Wow, that must be hard. I could never do it.”

I totally get it. In fact, years before doing …