Posts tagged with “happy”
Why Self-Help Shouldn’t Be About Trying to “Fix” Yourself
“Stop trying to ‘fix’ yourself; you’re not broken! You are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.” ~Steve Maraboli
The other day I had some time to kill before a meeting, so I decided to go to one of my favorite places, Chapters Bookstore. When I walked in, I immediately headed toward the self-help section to pick up Brene Brown’s Rising Strong (great read, by the way).
As I was searching for her book, I noticed an unusual number of people browsing the same shelves, searching for their self-help book of choice.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with this. The …
How I Stopped Feeling Hopeless and Healed from Depression
“Abandon the idea that you will forever be the victim of the things that have happened to you. Choose to be the victor.” ~Seth Adam Smith
I come from a history of abuse and mental illness on both sides of my family. I felt the effects of both growing up. By my twenties, I was a mess.
I suffered from wild mood swings and severe depression, either lashing out or completely numb and disinterested. I was using alcohol to numb myself from reality, and it was only a matter of time before I’d end up in jail or dead.
I …
Why I’m Broke, Single, and Happier Than Ever (and How You Can Be Happier Too)
“You must make your dream a priority in order for it to become your life.” ~Bob Proctor.
I am sitting in the courtyard of the little place I’ve just moved into, an old washhouse separate from a beautiful big Victorian house, by the coast in Cornwall.
The washhouse is no bigger than a shed; it consists of a living space and a wet room.
I sleep on a day bed, which doubles as my sofa. My neat, compact kitchen is approximately two steps from my bed/sofa, and the wet room houses a shower, toilet, and sink.
I’m thirty-two, and I …
4 Steps to Let Go of Stress, Negativity, and Emotional Pain
“It’s not the bite of the snake that kills you, it’s the poison left behind.” ~Tom Callos
Have you ever taken it to heart when someone said or did something mean to you? The likely answer is yes; most people have experienced negativity from another person—and it hurts.
But why did you take it personally? Because, like all of us, you want love. And we often assume when someone is mean to us that it means that we are unlovable.
Now, when a person is mean to me, I choose not to accept what they are offering. Also, I recognize …
Why We Put Ourselves Last and Why Self-Care Should Be a Priority
“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.” ~Dodinsky
Sometimes, when we’re feeling stressed and running around taking care of everybody else, the healthiest thing we can do is to stop and consider how we can take care of ourselves.
While this seems obvious to some people, many of us struggle with the idea of putting ourselves first. We were raised to think we should always put others before ourselves and ignore our own needs—that it is somehow arrogant or self-centered, and not a nice thing to do.
So why is self-care not held in high regard as the …
Why We Don’t Need to Worry About What’s Missing in Our Lives
“Don’t compare your struggles to anyone else’s. Don’t get discouraged by the success of others. Make your own path and never give up.” ~Unknown
My recent breakup was the most painful experience of my life. More painful maybe than it should have been, as it came at a time when a lot of things weren’t going as I hoped they would.
The road to healing seemed so much steeper and longer when all of these things also needed to be ‘fixed.’
As I approached my thirtieth birthday, I found myself back living at home with my parents and at a …
Our Lives Are Measured in Love, Not Numbers
“In the end, these are the things that matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?” ~Buddha
Last year my yoga teacher told a story in class about Hanuman, an ancient Hindu god depicted as a monkey. When asked what he was devoted to, Hanuman opened his chest and there were Sita and Ram, sitting on his heart, always with him. He was their greatest devotee.
The story stuck with me.
“What do I hold closest to my heart?” I asked myself quite often, and I was not getting the …
4 Ways We Resist Life and Cause Ourselves Pain (And How to Stop)
“When fear wakes up inside, and there is no place to run away or hide from it, consider it a gift. In all the glory of that discomfort, know there is refuge in surrender.” ~Erin Lanahan
When I was a freshman in college, I had a wise English teacher. Through everything he taught, he would always circle back to the theme that “life is a constant cycle of tension and release.”
I heard him say these words over and over, but I didn’t really listen. I wasn’t ready to yet. Still, this simple message always stuck in my memory.
I …
You Never Know What Someone Is Going Through, So Be Kind
“Give everyone the benefit of the doubt today…” ~Lori Deschene, Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges
Here’s something I’ve learned firsthand: No matter how someone looks or acts, you truly never know what’s happening in their lives.
Five years ago my husband Walter was dying from cancer. Twice during a thirteen-month period he was hospitalized, thirty minutes away from our home.
I spent about ten hours a day at the hospital, plus travel time during those long weeks. I was a wreck.
I don’t know what I looked like to the outside world. Inside, I felt impatient, angry, sad, out …
How to Live Out Loud: 8 Lessons for an Authentic, Empowered Life
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Growing up, I was shy, bullied often, or ignored because I couldn’t stand up for myself.
My parents, immigrants from Colombia, South America, bequeathed me an inheritance of brown skin, brown eyes, and a language full of emotion. Nothing like the world I was thrown into.
I started kindergarten not knowing a word of English, trying to find my place in a sea of white faces. I stood out like a fly in milk.
I was teased and …
Why Playing Hard to Get Doesn’t Work (and What Does)
“Confidence isn’t ‘They will like me.” It’s ‘I’m perfectly fine if they don’t.’ ” ~Unknown
After the death of my husband, I spent my thirties as a single mother of four children. It was a tough decade. I often felt lonely and frustrated, and dating was a nightmare.
I constantly gorged on self-help books, hoping that they’d reveal whatever my “problem” was so that I could fix it and finally find the love I so desperately craved.
Many of these well-intentioned books contained dating tips designed to make someone fall in love with me. They invited me to …
How to Turn Your Sensitivity into Your Biggest Strength
“Never apologize for being sensitive or emotional. Let this be a sign that you’ve got a big heart and aren’t afraid to let others see it. Showing your emotions is a sign of strength.” ~Brigitte Nicole
We have a problem in the modern world that needs to be addressed.
It impacts huge numbers of the population but is so ingrained in our culture that it’s easy for us to overlook how dangerous it can be.
This problem is the denial of sensitivity.
We often associate sensitivity with weakness, but when we learn how to manage our energy and emotions …
How We Can Use Our Painful Emotions for Good
“The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy.” ~Meryl Streep
Growing up I spent a lot of time on the Internet browsing websites and looking at images. One image that stuck with me as a child showed an old man lying on a hospital bed, with tubes running into his mouth. In his hand, he held a “no smoking” sign.
As I stared at that image I began to think what it must be like to face the horrible consequences of failing health. I imagined the pain, the regret, and the desperation for …
How to Instantly Calm Yourself in Stressful Situations
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~Viktor Frankl
There’s a big lie we tell ourselves during stressful times.
It keeps us feeling lost, afraid, and unloved, like we’re being picked up and carried away helplessly by a storm.
Our heads can fill with scary images, words, and stories about the cause and who is to blame for our unwanted pain.
Sound familiar? If it does, you’re not alone. You’re normal. This is how humans biologically respond to stress.…
10 Surprising Reasons To Stop Trying To Please Everyone
“Lean too much on other people’s approval and it becomes a bed of thorns.” ~Tehyi Hsieh
Let’s be honest with each other.
You’re a people-pleaser
So am I.
And so is Oprah, the President of The United States, and the guy next door.
We’re all people-pleasers to some extent. And that’s okay. Wanting to be approved of—and loved—is as natural as wanting food and shelter.
It’s when you try to please everyone that it becomes a problem. In fact, more than a problem, a disease. Harriet B. Braiker called it “the disease to please.”
And …
How to Promote Yourself Authentically to Gain New Opportunities
“If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.” ~Unknown
I have always been a smart, dedicated, hard working person. I was raised to believe that those were characteristics required for success. So imagine my surprise to reach the working world and find unexceptional colleagues getting promoted above me.
There’s one memory that particularly stands out.
When I was twenty-five, I was on a team that consisted of amazingly smart, ambitious, hardworking people, plus one mediocre guy, Tom. His mediocrity stood out amongst a high-achieving team, but Tom thought …
The Benefits of Minimalism: 7 Reasons to Declutter Your Life
“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” ~ William Morris
Have you ever noticed that every time you move you need a bigger truck than the last time you moved?
People love to collect things, and we have a tendency to keep collecting things in order to fill the available space in our homes (and sometimes beyond).
I’m a firm believer in the idea that material possessions do not equate to happiness, so I recently started to explore the idea of living a minimalist lifestyle, to see if …
The Power of Doing Nothing When You’re Frustrated or Anxious
“This ‘doing nothing’ is not a cold, passive resignation, but is a luminous, sacred activity, infused with presence and a wild sort of compassion. It is a radical act of kindness and love.” ~Matt Licata
I am storming home after work.
The important men in my life are driving me bonkers—they’ve been self-important, disrespectful, condescending jerks.
My dad doesn’t see the value in the work I do, and my partner blew off our date to take an important phone call. My younger brother leapt off of the phone with me, which he’s been doing every time I’ve called in the …
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