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Posts tagged with “happy”

Life Is Not a Race: Why We’ll Never Find Happiness in the Future

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“Life is not a race but a pace we need to maintain with reality.” ~Amit Abraham

Almost all of my adult life I’ve competed in the extreme sport of white-water kayaking.

My life revolved around adrenalin and competition.

Recently, I had a dream I will never forget:

I was running in a race and I was out in front, winning.

I got to a point in the course where there were no signposts showing the next turn. So I asked the race officials, “Where is the course?”

They replied, “We don’t know.”

The race officials couldn’t tell me where the …

How to Use Silence to Help Your Hurting Friend

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“Sitting silently beside a friend who is hurting may be the best gift we can give.” ~Unknown

There’s a time for words and a time for silence. Thankfully, when I went through one of the darkest periods of my life, I had friends who knew what time it was.

When things go well, your friends don’t usually need to show up in silence. But everything changes when you go through a season of intense pain and disappointment. I know this from firsthand experience.

My life took a drastic turn for the worse when the first ride of the season on …

11 Life-Changing Lessons I Learned from My Mother After She Died

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“Those we love never truly leave us… There are things that death cannot touch.” ~J.K. Rowling

Growing up, I was glued to my mother’s hip, ready to follow her wherever the world took us.

I used to sleep at her feet on the floor of her law school lecture halls while hundreds of students poured over scores of legal terms and historical court cases.

When I was six, we packed our bags to jet off on her semester abroad in Paris, and at fourteen, I stood beside her as she battled stage III breast cancer.

After my stepfather passed away, …

Overcoming Self-Sabotage: How to Stop Attracting Pain

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“Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy.” ~Milton Erickson

Sometimes, there comes a point in our lives when we need to let go of something painful, whether its guilt or a toxic relationship, but it’s equally difficult to let go and hard to live without. So we get uncomfortably stuck in the middle of two realities: where we are and where we want to be.

But do we really want to let go of the pain? Or is letting go so scary and unfamiliar that we’d rather hold onto it?

I’ve always …

Love Isn’t Enough (and Other Reasons I Ended My Toxic Relationship)

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“Some people think that it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.” ~Unknown

Sometimes we prolong relationships for the sake of comfort and familiarity. We’re fearful of what’s out there, and life without a partner. No matter how many times we’ve been hurt, taken for granted, or had our needs neglected, we still choose to stay even if our mind and heart strongly suggest otherwise.

I thought I was strong for putting up with my ex’s mistreatment. I had held the ability to forgive in high regard, and I wanted to keep that standard.

I’m not exaggerating …

How to Stop Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop and Start Living Fully

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“Use your precious moments to live life fully every single second of every single day.” ~Marcia Wieder

I recently came back from an amazing vacation overseas with my family. All of our travel went smoothly, everyone stayed healthy, and there wasn’t any drama or conflict among family members. Other than one flight being delayed, it was perfect.

On the way home from the trip my heart and soul were soaring from the fun we had enjoyed, savoring the memories in my mind and feeling grateful. I noticed, though, that when I returned home my mind slowly started to shift. …

Take the Leap: Reinvent Yourself and Be Who You Want to Be

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“The only thing that punk rock should ever really mean is not sitting around and waiting for the lights to go green.” ~Frank Turner

I was exactly where I should have been on the afternoon I jumped. I was four years post-undergrad at an elite private college, halfway through a Masters Degree from the nation’s top Social Work program, about to begin an internship, and working three public service jobs simultaneously. My boyfriend had just moved into my apartment, and the feeling of being “settled” was just starting to sink in.

The remaining challenge of adulthood, it seemed, …

Love Is When You Feel Happy Doing Nothing Together

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What to Do After a Breakup: A Brief Guide for the Newly Single

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“Even in the loneliest moments I have been there for myself.” ~Sanober Khan

Last year, I decided to leave my boyfriend, who I had a loving and wonderful relationship with. I left for logistical reasons. I didn’t like the city I lived in or my job. But my boyfriend was happy there, so he stayed and I left.

The world doesn’t prepare you for a broken heart. There aren’t benefits you can apply for when the person who’s been beside you for years one day isn’t. The reality is that unless you’re married, people understand your feelings for a …

Two Principles for a Happy Life

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The 4 Happiness Archetypes and How to Get Out of the Rat Race

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“When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way.” ~Wayne Dyer

One day, I was complaining about not having enough days off to escape work and treat myself to a vacation. I was feeling stressed and tired. I can recall my stepfather looking into my eyes with a deep sense of peace and compassion.

“I hear you,” he said. “I know you work hard. Sometimes, I imagine myself jumping out of bed and going for a walk, whenever I want to.”

His words came …

Three Unexpected, Life-Changing Lessons I Learned at a Silent Retreat

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“Every moment is a choice to begin again.” ~Unknown

By day three of the five-day silent retreat I found myself wondering, “Why did I do this again?”

The pain of sitting in lotus position for eight hours a day was testing my patience. I was frustrated that my mind would only be still for a few moments, before interrupting itself with commentary on the fact that my mind was still, and I wasn’t feeling any spiritual awakening—although not being a particularly “spiritual” person, this wasn’t entirely surprising

So why had I decided to go on a silent retreat in the …

Break the Cycle: How to Stop Hurting Others When You Were Mistreated

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“What’s broken can be mended. What hurts can be healed. And no matter how dark it gets, the sun is going to rise again.” ~Unknown

I grew up with difficult and hurtful parents who spoke critically, with the intent to demean.

Each word of sarcasm, each thinly veiled joke or put-down undercut my self-esteem. Each knocked me down a rung in life and kept me from my potential.

Rampant comparisons to other Indian kids succeeding academically, attacks of my mediocre performance at school, and harsh language were my mother’s weapons of choice.

When someone attacks your self-esteem repeatedly, you …

How to Maintain a Sense of Peace No Matter What Life Throws At You

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“Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.” ~Unknown

Do you ever feel like your life is a rollercoaster?

One second, you’re on top of the world. The next, you’re down in the dumps.

For me, this feeling of going up and down began back in high school.

Before then, everything in life seemed like a test run. Sure, there were exams, extracurricular activities, and the usual social pressures. But now that university was only a …

3 Steps to Rocket Your Creative Dreams into the Stratosphere

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“Do your art every day, no matter how crappy your day is.” ~Ksenia Anske

I was definitely the weird kid. The boy who played with invisible friends out there on the playground during recess. I had what you might call “a rich inner life.”

I guess that’s expected when you’re in grade school. All cool. But as I got older the world began to get unkind. Like the day I realized the stories in my head weren’t really real. Or when that jock guy called me an “art fag” in front of everybody. Or when all the girls said I …

What to Do When Your Need to Please Is Ruining Your Life

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“We are captives of our own identities, living in prisons of our own creation.” ~Theodore Bagwell

Have you ever thought you had to do what other people said or they wouldn’t love you?

Have you felt selfish for wanting to put your needs first, or guilty for setting limits with the people you care about?

Have you learned that even when you’ve complied with everyone’s wishes and whims they still weren’t happy, and you weren’t either?

Welcome to the deception of people-pleasing. Welcome to the story of my life.

There is no tragedy greater than being alive but …

Finding a New Path When You’re Attached to the Old and Scared of Failing

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“All endings are just beginnings. We just don’t know it yet.” ~Mitch Albom

The difficulty of finding, let alone staying on a path was brought to mind recently when I got lost in a maze at a children’s amusement park. Seriously lost.

In the end I scrambled under the maze to get out. I didn’t like the feeling of hitting up against walls, turning and trying, and then finding another wall blocking my path. Mazes are designed to confuse, and together with the summer heat, I’d had enough.

As I came out from under the fence, someone jokingly called out …

Overcoming the Fear That Stands Between You and Your Dreams

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“A few rare individuals refuse to have limited lives. They drive through tremendous amounts of pain—from rejections and failures to shorter moments of embarrassment and anxiety. Because they avoid nothing, they can pursue their highest aspirations. They seem more alive than the rest of us.” ~Phil Stutz and Barry Michels

If you were to see me in a social situation, you’d think that I’m confident.

And in most informal social settings, I am. Now.

I love people, love hearing their stories, so most of the time I trust my ability to relate and connect.

But this wasn’t always the …

Love Hurts: Buddhist Advice for the Heartbroken – Interview and Book Giveaway

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Note – The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. They are:

  • Jennifer Moore Hardesty
  • Margie Lynn
  • Dr. Mac
  • Ryan
  • RB
  • Justme
  • Rogério Cardoso
  • Fernanda Garza
  • Benjamin E. Nichols
  • Terri Cross

When you’re dealing with heartbreak, it can feel like the pain will never go away.

You may know, intellectually, that everything heals with time, but in that moment, when you’re suffering, it’s hard to hold onto hope.

Like all humans, I’ve experienced my fair share of loss, and I’ve felt scared, depressed, alone, betrayed, rejected, regretful, and angry—with other people, with myself, and with the world.

Losing someone or …

How We Suffer When We Judge Other People’s Choices

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“The greatest gift you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.” ~Brian Tracy

Two months ago I travelled back home to Connecticut to care for a sick parent. My dad was preparing for cancer treatment, trying to figure out the medical system, and packing up to move all at the same time. He was overwhelmed with stress and exhausted from his pain medication. As a caring and health-conscious daughter, I was eager to help.

I had visions of cooking him meals of steamed greens and healthy soups. And I stocked my suitcase with supplements that …