Posts tagged with “Love”
5 Myths About Setting Boundaries That Steal Your Joy and Lead to Resentment
“Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.” ~Brené Brown
Do you find yourself saying yes when you’d rather say no? Are you inexplicably exhausted all the time? Do you often experience anger, bitterness, or resentment toward yourself or others?
I did too for a long time.
I’m a recovering people pleaser. For as long as I can remember, I desired to keep everyone around me happy. I was also very fearful of …
How to Get Closure When Your Ex Won’t Speak to You
“If you are brave enough to say good-bye, life will reward you with a new hello.” ~Paul Coehlo
Why won’t they call? Can’t they just have the conversation? What’s wrong with them? What did I do to deserve this treatment? Did I mean nothing?
Have you asked yourself these questions at the end of a relationship? I know I have. Actually, I was asking myself these very questions about six months ago. What do you do at the end of a relationship when it doesn’t really feel over or you aren’t ready for it to be done?
First there …
Why We Shouldn’t Force Advice on People & What Actually Helps
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” ~Stephen R. Covey
This is a post about listening.
I know it’s really unsexy. It’s a topic that’s like the sun; nobody looks directly at it. But you want to create deep and lasting connections with others, and real changes for your loved ones, right?
Right. Stick with me.
Think about your typical day. How often do you listen in a conversation with others without being fully present?
Go on, be honest.
You find that you float in and out of awareness. Certain …
7 Clues You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship
“You don’t let go of an unhealthy relationship because you stop caring about them. You let go because you finally start caring about you.” ~Charles Orlando
Most of us have experienced the pain of being in an unhealthy relationship.
It took me a long time to admit that I was in one. When I finally took off the rose-tinted glasses, I saw my relationship for what it was: an exhausting, lonely experience, with no real long-term benefits, that sucked the life out of me.
I recognized that the relationship was causing me to feel worse about myself, not better, resulting …
How to Speak to Someone About an Unspeakable Loss
“It’s not about saying the right things. It’s about doing the right things.” ~Unknown
Years ago, my family and I moved to a bucolic little town in New Zealand, where we were immediately swept up into a group of ex-pats and locals. We felt deeply connected to this community by the time I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy in the local hospital.
When our son was three months old, a doctor heard a heart murmur. Twenty-four hours later, he died.
In the days and weeks that followed, I wandered in my own fog of grief as I went …
10 Powerful Tips for Building a Deep, Lasting Love
“We are a work in progress with a lifetime contract.” ~Phyllis Koss
The priest at our wedding advised us, “It’s not enough to say, ‘I want to marry you’ just today. You’ve got to be able to say that every day.”
Problems and challenges in life can be like the wind, which blows unpredictably. You can’t control the wind, but you can learn to set your sails and to make repairs.
We’ve now been married for thirty years. Life, with all its ups and downs, has taught us a few lessons about building a lasting romance.
Here are ten tips …
3 Things We Can All Do to Create Stronger, Happier Relationships
“Love is the absence of judgment.” ~Dalai Lama
I used to be one of those moms.
Let me explain.
I was a single mom for literally my daughter’s entire childhood. That’s okay—I was a control freak, so it really suited me. I got to make all the decisions. Perfect!
And it was… for me. Not so much for my daughter, but then in those days I was only focused on getting through the day and paying the bills.
We coped. I made the rules, set the boundaries, and expected her to tow the line.
Which she mostly did, …
You Can Have The Love You Deserve If You Just Let Go
“Even if it seems like it’s taking too long for what we want to arrive, it’s better to stay with the ache than abandon the desire.” ~Danielle Laporte
Last week when I was in the front row of a yoga class, I moved my hips up and back into downward dog, and through my legs saw the top of my ex-boyfriend’s head. I hadn’t seen him in months, and I wasn’t really interested in having small talk with the man who’d crushed my heart.
He approached me, eyes shining, happy to see me. I, on the other hand, drove home, …
How To Take Your Life Back From People Who Ask for Too Much
“It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority.” ~Mandy Hale
It sucks, doesn’t it?
People who ask too much of you?
People who steal your time and drain your energy.
Who just keep on attacking your natural defenses, abusing your loyalty and exploiting your love.
You want to stop giving, to say no! But frustratingly, when you try to pull away, they say or imply that you’re the selfish one.
And in some cases it’s unwanted or impractical to distance yourself from that person, especially if they’re a family …
If Self-Love Seems Difficult, Start with Self-Like
“It’s not your job to like me. It’s mine.” ~Byron Katie
Self-love is a word that gets used a lot. Overused, in fact.
The pressures and associations around the phrase “self-love” are immense. At school, we actually tore apart girls who loved themselves, as if it was such a bad thing. As teenagers, we saw self-love as big headed and arrogant.
If only we knew the harm that we were doing, not just to others but most of all to ourselves.
So how about we begin with self-like?
I definitely felt that I had to try to get people …
Why We Can’t Have Healthy, Happy Relationships Without Self-Love
“Worry about loving yourself instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.” ~Unknown
Body image and self-love have been my biggest struggles. They’ve affected every area of my life, including relationships.
I developed anorexia in high school after experiencing a number of losses in a short period of time.
During my high school years I didn’t date much. I had a few boyfriends, but the relationships never progressed because I was afraid of intimacy, due to the fact that I was uncomfortable in my skin and didn’t like my body.
I had body dysmorphia, thinking I was overweight …
3 Ways to Tell If You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship
“The harder you fight to hold onto specific assumptions, the more likely there’s gold in letting them go.” ~John Seely Brown
It was Christmas night and I was ecstatic. He would be there any minute.
I touched up my gloss and gave myself a quick once over in the hallway mirror. Despite having had a hearty dinner at my Mum’s, my stomach was flat and my dress fit me like a glove, enveloping my curves perfectly. I was ready and raring to go.
Glancing at the clock, I wondered where he was. I double checked my phone to see if …
Why Self-Help Shouldn’t Be About Trying to “Fix” Yourself
“Stop trying to ‘fix’ yourself; you’re not broken! You are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.” ~Steve Maraboli
The other day I had some time to kill before a meeting, so I decided to go to one of my favorite places, Chapters Bookstore. When I walked in, I immediately headed toward the self-help section to pick up Brene Brown’s Rising Strong (great read, by the way).
As I was searching for her book, I noticed an unusual number of people browsing the same shelves, searching for their self-help book of choice.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with this. The …
Why We Put Ourselves Last and Why Self-Care Should Be a Priority
“Be there for others, but never leave yourself behind.” ~Dodinsky
Sometimes, when we’re feeling stressed and running around taking care of everybody else, the healthiest thing we can do is to stop and consider how we can take care of ourselves.
While this seems obvious to some people, many of us struggle with the idea of putting ourselves first. We were raised to think we should always put others before ourselves and ignore our own needs—that it is somehow arrogant or self-centered, and not a nice thing to do.
So why is self-care not held in high regard as the …
Why It Takes Strength to Be Vulnerable, and Why It’s Worth It
“Vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage.” ~Brené Brown
When we’re younger, we’re fearless. We don’t mind climbing trees, making friends with strangers, or telling our secrets to people we’ve just met. We open our eyes and hearts to new experiences and people, and we trust that everything is going to be okay.
Somewhere along the way, we learn that being vulnerable can hurt.
We get teased or laughed at, and we learn that not everyone can be trusted with our secrets. Our knees get bruised and our hearts get broken.
I don’t fall in love easily. So, when …
Our Lives Are Measured in Love, Not Numbers
“In the end, these are the things that matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?” ~Buddha
Last year my yoga teacher told a story in class about Hanuman, an ancient Hindu god depicted as a monkey. When asked what he was devoted to, Hanuman opened his chest and there were Sita and Ram, sitting on his heart, always with him. He was their greatest devotee.
The story stuck with me.
“What do I hold closest to my heart?” I asked myself quite often, and I was not getting the …
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