To Get Over the Past, You Have to…
Source: Simple Reminders
Posts tagged with “Regret”
How a Pause Can Help You Say No and Avoid Regret
“No is a full sentence.” – Unknown
I like to help. I like to be kind. I like to join in.
Usually, these things happen as a result of saying yes. Generally it makes me feel good inside. Better about myself.
But what happens when helping, kindness, and joining in ends up being a burden with too many negative repercussions? Do we continue on the same path? Should we continue to say yes?
Throughout my life, I have had a good relationship with the word yes. Yes has led me to unexpected, beautiful, memorable experiences. Yes has brought …
How to Let Go of Guilt and Regret and Forgive Yourself
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~Paul Boes
In October of 2010 I was engaged after only three weeks of dating. I was scared to tell my family, but I was terrified to tell my father. My parents divorced when I was five, and I couldn’t spend weekends at Dad’s because he lived thousands of miles away. I saved him for last and decided to take the cowardly way out by emailing him.
It was not the best decision I’ve ever made. Not only did it infuriate and hurt him, it ended up producing …
3 Powerful Ways to Get Moving When You Feel Stuck in Life
“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown
I realized I’m going to die soon.
Not, you know, imminently. But soon. Even sixty is soon. Seventy, eighty, ninety, still soon. And I’ll be lucky if I get that old.
I’m going to die.
What’s gotten into me? Maybe it’s the Robin Williams story. That would make sense. A loss that’s shocking really resets your perspective.
Life is fleeting, it’s brief. Even if it’s what we’d consider a long life, it’s short.
This was a thought of mine in the shower today.
I think …
Let Go of Regret by Making a Promise to Yourself
“Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” ~Unknown
Regret can be such a paralyzing emotion, yet it is also universal. At some point in our lives, in one way or another, we each wrestle with regret.
Regret seems to rear its ugly head most when it comes to relationships. It happens when a relationship ends and we feel as if we could have done something more. This feeling intensifies when the other person decides that a second chance is not worth the fight. Most of all, we face with regret once it sets in that the past …
How to Deal with Regret: 8 Ways to Benefit and Move Forward
“Stay away from what might have been and look at what can be.” ~Marsha Petrie Sue
When I look back at some of the most painful moments of my life, I see myself sitting alone, feeling either immense shame or regret.
It’s bizarre how we can get so offended and angry when other people hurt us, and yet repeatedly choose to torture ourselves, far worse than they possibly could, through repeated mental rehashing.
For the longest time, my biggest regret revolved around missing out on life.
From a distance, people always thought I had everything going for me. Up close, …
3 Vital Lessons on Living a Life That Won’t Lead to Regret
“I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” ~Brene Brown
Even though I’m a psychologist who has been working in the field of development and assessment for the last thirteen years, sometimes it still takes more than reading a theory in a book, or even seeing something work with a client, to make it real for me.
Here are three of the moments that have had the most impact on me and the way I live my life.
1. Each of us has the power to
…
You’re Not Behind; You’re Just on Your Own Path
“To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.” ~Sven Goran Eriksson
Endlessly comparing ourselves to others and idealizing their best qualities while underestimating our own are self-defeating behaviors, and they hurt our self-esteem. Yet in the competitive nature of our world, many of us do this.
As a result of my own self-defeating thoughts, throughout my life, I’ve repeatedly felt like I was five years behind where I “should” be.
After high school graduation, many of my peers went away to school and into a new wave of social experiences.
I stayed home, worked, and …
Free Yourself from Regret and Transform Your Life
“The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.” ~Marianne Williamson
I always had a hard time accepting all of me. As early as I can remember others defined me by saying “You are so weird.” Not in a malicious way but more in a “you don’t fit into our familiar box” sort of way.
I spent most of my teens and twenties attempting to conform to others or numbing myself to a point of not caring what they thought. If someone would have told me that forgiveness and compassion would lead me to …
How the Need to Be Right Can Lead to Guilt and Regret
“The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.” ~Ralph Blum
I think we all have this issue: guilt, followed by its sister, regret.
I didn’t realize how dark a blemish it was on my heart until I fully felt the anguish of my mother’s death. I never quite realized my full potential, courage, or strength until her passing.
Her greatest sacrifice, leaving this earth, proved to be my greatest motivation to search myself for the answer of whom I was and why; it was the major catalyst in my life for change.
Sometimes the …
Lessons from Regret: The Time is Now
“Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” ~Unknown
“Six weeks ago the doctors told me he had six weeks to live. I don’t think he is going to survive the night.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?” I whimpered, my voice barely above a whisper. ‘We don’t have any time left.”
I didn’t think that as a 19 year old, seeing my father die in a hospital was going to be something I would experience. Wasn’t he meant to grow old and grey, with me taking care of him?
Nevertheless, in the early hours of the …
When Your Beliefs Hold You Back: Release Them to Avoid Regret
“Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” ~lan Watts
Do you hear voices?
Even when you are alone, there is usually someone talking to you. And you hear them loud and clear.
Everyone has an internal dialogue going through their heads for a large part of the day. Just because you hear these “voices” it doesn’t mean you are crazy.
On the other hand, these voices can make you believe some crazy things.
Most of what these voices tell you is negative. And when you hear these negative things often enough, …
Moving on from a Mistake: 5 Tips to Relieve Your Pain
“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” ~Elbert Hubbard
We all make mistakes, but sometimes it’s hard to remember that when we’re in the midst of them. We try to avoid them at all costs because the pain and price can be high.
It can cost us our jobs, our reputations, or our driving records.
In their election ads, political candidates often focus on their opponents’ negative aspects in order to make us vote for them instead. It’s almost as if we’re voting for the person least likely to …
Catch Anger Before It Catches You
“For every moment you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
I’m not an angel. In fact, my husband used to lovingly call me a “fierce creature.” This fiery inclination can be due to inborn temperament, but it can also be a result of post-traumatic stress or similar brain-impacting life events.
It’s taken a concerted effort, over many years, for me to become more loving, tolerant, and peaceful.
But I still lose it from time to time. Like today, for example, it must have been a triple critical day because I lost it three times in …
Owning Our Actions and Avoiding Regret
“Your actions are your only true belongings.” ~Allan Lokos
I’d bet I’m not the only one who browses through the quotes section of Tiny Buddha when its time for a pick-me-up or a little bit of a calming down.
As I’m writing this, the quote above is particularly pertinent. I found out an hour ago that someone has hit my car for the second time this year—in the same parking lot as the last accident.
I’m pretty upset, and between waiting to file the police report and being on hold with the insurance, a little bit of comfort reading made …
How to Stop Beating Yourself Up Over Poor Choices and Minor Mistakes
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
I have just eaten enough pizza to satisfy three people and I’m feeling awful for having done it. Awful because my stomach can only hold so much, awful because I know I’m going to pay for eating it (dairy and I have a difficult relationship), and awful because I know I shouldn’t have done it.
This is what my internal monologue looks like:
Me: I feel so sick.
Inner Me: You shouldn’t have eaten so much then!
Me: I know but I really fancied …
How to Move through Shame, Fear, and Regret
“If you are never scared, embarrassed, or hurt, it means you never take chances.” ~Julia Soul
The moment comes when you are on your knees.
You are filled with a knowing that there is something better. There is a life for you that you are not living and you are ready to live it.
I call this the moment of awakening—the moment when you hear your soul’s cry for the next step in its evolution. You are ready to live your fullest expression.
Anais Nin said it best, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a …
How to Grow from Mistakes and Stop Beating Yourself Up
“When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.” ~Unknown
The spiral staircase has always intrigued the yogi-designer in me. The visual draw, similarity to DNA, and cosmic patterns, as well as its mathematical genius, could be enough, but the structure can also mean more.
Picture yourself tripping up in work, life, or love. You’ve made a mistake, said the wrong thing, or didn’t come through with your end of the bargain.
You think, how did I let that happen? What a (fill in the blank) I am. I can’t believe I did that, again. If only I could rewind.…
3 Simple Tips to Push Yourself to Try Something New
“Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.” ~Unknown
It was a few months into my semester abroad during my sophomore year in college when I realized how special the experience had become.
On the way to class, I strolled past the Pantheon and snacked on homemade gelato.
Preparing dinner consisted of purchasing fresh-picked produce and a fresh-cooked baguette. As my homemade pasta sauce slowly came to a pleasant boil, my roommates and I would sip the finest Chianti 5 euros could buy while eating salami and formaggio (cheese) so delicious it makes your mouth water just thinking about …
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