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Posts tagged with “wisdom”

Breaking Free from Your Family’s Expectations

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“Stop worrying about pleasing others so much. Do more of what makes you happy.” ~Unknown

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you break away from your family. Right? We are all familiar with this. It happens when you turn eighteen, go off to college, and move out the house—and out of the state or country for some.

This is the expectation of society on the whole. Then what keeps us so bound to our families that we sometimes feel paralyzed, afraid of making the “wrong” decisions for our career, relationships, or simply how we choose to live?

Despite …

How to Cope When People Disappoint You

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“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” ~Alexander Pope

Growing up, I had a wonderful relationship with my mother. We did all the usual mother-daughter things together—went shopping, had brunch—and we supported each other when my father left.

In 2011, I was happily pregnant. I felt supported by my family and ready to take on motherhood. My husband and I were elated by the birth of our little boy.

It’s fair to say that I may have been a little naïve about what was to come. I knew it would be hard work, but I …

35 Essential Habits of Incredibly Happy People

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“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ~Dalai Lama

We all have these personal voices.

There’s one voice that says you can achieve whatever you desire.

Then there’s this pesky little voice offering reasons why you can’t do what you want, and it’s often repetitive, resilient, and persistent.

How many times have you made a commitment only to have this voice chime in with one of these common excuses?

  • I just don’t have enough time.
  • I don’t feel comfortable.
  • This won’t get me anywhere in life.

These excuses stem from one question: “What if?…

6 Compelling Reasons To Spend Some Time Alone

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“There are times when alone is the best place to be.” ~Unknown

Some people think it’s awful to spend time alone—that it means you’re antisocial or no one needs you.

Some people feel sad and lonely when they don’t have company every evening or weekend.

But being alone doesn’t mean that no one needs you. And it can actually be quite useful to take some time to yourself.

I am almost thirty. This is an age when you start to rethink your whole life, trying to understand what you should change or improve, what you should do next, and …

How to Stop Overthinking and Start Living: 10 Helpful Tips

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“Thinking has, many a time, made me sad, darling; but doing never did in all my life….My precept is, do something, my sister, do good if you can; but at any rate, do something.” ~Elizabeth Gaskell

Problems. We all face them.

Some are frivolous; some are life changing. Some force us to draw from within us our greatest mental potential. Many cause nothing more than stress.

Whatever issues life presents us, whether small or big, we think about them.

We think about what to do, what not to do, and what would be “best” for us and for everyone around …

Family Isn’t Always Forever: When It’s Time to Say Goodbye

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“Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.” ~Edna Buchanan

A few years ago I ended all contact with my parents, and I have not seen or spoken to them since then.

The truth is I am actually okay with that. Initially, I thought I was going to lose my mind. I had been brought up to believe that family comes first. Children should respect and take care of their parents. Family should—and will—always be there for each other.

Those beliefs were based on love, and I cherished them.

I wanted so much to feel that connection—that unconditional love those …

How to Stop Being a Doormat and Start Speaking Up

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“Speak your mind even if your voice shakes.” ~Maggie Kuhn

For years I was that person who needed to know what would happen in the near future. I wasn’t content with being in the moment and letting things unfold naturally because it made me anxious.

Knowing, or at least thinking I knew, was a way for me to relax and reassure myself that nothing was going to unexpectedly pop up. The idea of a problem spontaneously arising made me so nervous and anxious that I’d become a doormat instead of speaking up and saying what I really thought.

For me, …

A Broken Heart Is an Open Heart

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“A broken heart is not the same as sadness. Sadness occurs when the heart is stone cold and lifeless. On the contrary, there is an unbelievable amount of vitality in a broken heart.” ~Elizabeth Lesser

“I love you but I’m not in love with you” was the line my first boyfriend used when he broke up with me. I was twenty-two.

We were only together six months but I cried over him for a solid year, thinking a few parallel thoughts: “If I were thinner and prettier he would’ve been in love with me,“ “How could he not be in …

6 Ways to Cope with a Miserable Job

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“Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy that the thorn bush has roses.” ~Proverb

If you’re feeling miserable in your current job or career, wondering when you’ll be able to do something that makes your heart sing, I know exactly how you feel.

I spent nearly a decade of my life working in jobs that I despised, having to dig deep every day to make it through another eight hours. All the while, my soul felt like it was dying inside.

I remember writing one-page memos and having to wait a month while they …

The Art of Allowing: Let Go of Control and Go with the Flow

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“Accepting, allowing, and interacting with your life as though it is exactly as it should be, without making yourself wrong (or right) for what you discover is the way to Self-Realization.” ~Ariel Kane

When you’re confused about what to do next, fully surrendering to the possibilities will help you see a clear path ahead.

It all started the day I had lunch with my university friend Sarah.

Sarah had been traveling since graduation and was full of exotic tales about life in other countries—different languages, foods, and cultures.

What she was experiencing sounded amazing. She told me she had no …

The Grass Is Greener

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Finding Beauty After Tragedy: Bad Things Can Lead to Good

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“Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.” ~Oscar Wilde

Have you ever had one of those moments when something devastating happens in your world and it feels like the rug has been ripped out from under you? I know I certainly did last year.

I thought my life was moving along wonderfully. I had a well-paying job and was slowly growing my dream business on the side. I was happily married and the mother of an adorably cheeky toddler.

I was only weeks away from moving into our new family home, which had taken us years of …

7 Courageous Steps to Reconciling a Struggling Relationship

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“Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.” ~Ronald Reagan

I have always had a tumultuous relationship with my mother. One filled with conflict, anger, and struggle.

After years of non-communication, miscommunication, arguments, and fights, I realized it was time to reconcile what was left to whatever degree we were both capable.

I had to let go of the past and get honest with myself—because whatever I was doing on my end was not only hurting our relationship, but also killing me from the inside out.

I was crying out for resolution …

10 Ways To Declutter Your Mind For Clarity, Focus, Peace, and Balance

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“Life is as simple or complicated as we make it.” Donna Smallin

The dreaded “C” word. Clutter.

We all deal with it. In some part of our world, we face it: be it in our closets, in our offices, or even in our bodies. But the most distracting and debilitating cluttered space is in our heads.

You know the feeling. Driving on autopilot to work. Forgetting important dates. Leaving the water running or the stove on. Stumbling over words, unable to make a point.

When we’re caught up in our heads, distracted by worry or fear, we’re not present …

How to Stop Weighing Yourself Down with Emotional Junk Food

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“Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” ~Rumi

I want to feel better. Who doesn’t? Yoga makes me feel better most of the time, but if I am being totally honest, I don’t always choose the healthy option. In fact, sometimes I pick the worst thing for me.

For me, a plate of BBQ wings really hits the spot. That is, until a few hours later when the salt and protein load kicks in and I feel terrible. Again.

While I may oscillate between healthy and unhealthy choices for my body, I know how to …

We Can Be Positive Without Repressing Our Emotions

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“I’m stronger because of the hard times, wiser because of my mistakes, and happier because I have known sadness.” ~Unknown

One day at my part-time job, my supervisor told me that my boss wanted to talk to me. This was completely unexpected, so I was a bit concerned. Everything had been going so incredibly smoothly in my life for the past week or two, and all I wanted was to keep that oh-so-wonderful peacefulness going.

But when I came into her office, I knew in my entire being that something was off. My stomach clinched up and I …

When Your Struggle Has Become Your Identity: How to Rediscover Yourself

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“It ain’t what they call you. It’s what you answer to.” ~W.C. Fields

For much of my life, I have struggled against the after effects of unresolved childhood trauma.

For years, I didn’t even know how much of an issue it was. I thought it was completely normal to expect the worst or avoid intimacy like the plague.

When I finally dragged myself into a therapist’s office and was diagnosed with “significant, complex trauma,” I initially felt free.

And I admit, it was freeing. I now knew that this “thing” that I had been dealing with my entire life wasn’t …

How To Move Forward When You Feel Paralyzed by Uncertainty

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“When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle

A woman in a relationship that is breaking her spirit might remain there for fear of what leaving will bring.

She doesn’t know if she will find another to care for her, and having a warm body is better than having no one. The uncertainty about whether or not she will survive that decision, and be happier for it, keeps her there.

I know the harsh clutches of uncertainty all too well. It wasn’t long ago that I waffled and wavered about every decision I …

What to Do When You Know What You Want but Feel Stuck

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“What is the meaning of life? To be happy and useful.” ~Dalai Lama

Five years ago I had a brilliant idea. Since I was pretty good with social media, I decided to start my own business helping companies develop their online presence.

My goal was to work for myself, and the plan was that I’d quit my job, travel the world, create my own schedule, and earn a living doing something I’d seen others have a great deal of success doing.

After spending weeks brainstorming I came up with the perfect name for my company. I wrote my mission statement, …

Why We Should Stop Trying

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“If only we’d stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time.” ~Edith Wharton

Several years ago a well-known Zen Master accepted me as a long distance student. In one of our first email exchanges I wrote, “Dear Teacher, I am trying to sit every day for thirty minutes and in my practice I am trying to follow my breath.”

“Please,” he wrote back, “stop trying. You are your breath.”

I remember reading his words and feeling perplexed, confused, almost annoyed. What in the world did he mean? Wasn’t it obvious that we had no choice but …