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He left me for his Parents

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This topic contains 201 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by  anita 8 months, 2 weeks ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 151 through 165 (of 202 total)
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  • #231049

    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    Hi Risha,

    This sounds very much like stalking to me – calling you one hundred times and coming into your office with accusations.  I think you need to take it up with management and have a stop put to it.

    #231057

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Risha:

    What does he mean by you calling his friends: did you call his friends (not yours) to complain about him or such?

    So you are thinking that maybe he showed up to get back together with you but wasn’t able to do so because you expressed anger at him. Are you are thinking then, that if you had let him speak, he might have told you that he separated or will separate from his girlfriend and marry you instead?

    anita

    #231063

    risha
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    ‘you are thinking that maybe he showed up to get back together with you but wasn’t able to do so because you expressed anger at him’   – Yes i dont knw why i feel this way.

    But i never called any of his Friends and I dont knw why is he accusing me with that sort of thing when i never did it.

    After the Friday incident i thought he will never try to reach me. But even today he did call me few times but i didnt answer.

    I really dont knw why is he calling me. Does he want me back, does he want to scold me or blame me i really dont knw. Whatever the reason is im so scared to knw it bcoz i dont want to get hurt.

    Also i cant understand his behaviour i have so many things running in my head.

     

    Risha

    #231071

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Risha:

    Regarding understanding his behavior, maybe he wants to continue a relationship with you while he proceeds with the relationship with his girlfriend, that is, he might plan to get married and have you as his girlfriend at the same time. This is not unheard of, after all. It is quite common in any society, including one where arranged marriages is practiced to any extent. The adult children satisfy their parents by marrying a particular person and satisfy themselves by having a side-relationship with the person of their choice. What do you think of this possibility?

    anita

    #231089

    risha
    Participant

    Hmmm I really I dont know yes maybe its true maybe he just wants me around him and maybe he thpught he can have some kind of communication with me anytime he wants.

    If he really want me back he would have told me that when he came to see me last week so his intentions are totally different i guess.

    I get panic when he calls me this way. Actually on friday when i told there was around 100 miss calls at one point i felt so sorry for him bcoz of the effort that he was taking to call me. I mean i dont think any normal person could that when thered no response from other side.

    Anyway i hope he stops this drama coz its very difficult for me to move on when he disturbs me time to time.

    Risha

    #231101

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Risha:

    You make a good point, “if he really wants me back he would have told me that”.

    What is also clear to me is that he is hurting  you, making it “very difficult for me to move on when he disturbs me time to time”- that is unloving at the least and cruel at the worst, to keep you from moving on the way he does. What a shame!

    anita

    #231125

    risha
    Participant

    Yes Anita appreciate your advise as always…thank you so much. Get back to u soon. Take care and Hugs

    #231151

    anita
    Participant

    You are welcome, Risha. And thank you for the hugs, a hug back to you.

    anita

    #232489

    risha
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    I haven’t still got out of this mess bcoz he keeps calling me on my office number. I am so tired of looking at my phone ring the whole day. I really feel sorry for him to I mean why is he doing this to me and to himself. Wont he get fed up calling this way. He has been calling me continuously for the last two weeks when I don’t even respond.

    Last Friday he had sent a viber message to my Mom’s phone and luckily I had the phone with me. ‘he said I have been talking and messaging other guys and have mentioned some names and he got to know it thru one of my friends and I was the one who had cheated him and hes very disappointed’ after reading these messages I blocked him immediately from my Mom’s number.

    I really don’t understand this Anita. I am already suffering with the break up and on top of that he’s confusing me and blaming me for no reason. Maybe he’s trying a way to get thru to me or talk to me. But how long can a person do this. I’m very worried over him.

    My Friends are asking me to complain our office heads so that they will warn him or they want me to call his parents and to complain about his behavior.

    I really don’t want to do any of this Anita. I don’t want him to have any issues at work by complaining against nor do I want him to have any issues with his family.

    I am just clueless as what to do and how to stop him call me.

    Risha

    #232505

    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    Risha,

    I dont mean to alarm you or make you feel bad,  but his behaviour concerns me that he may harm you ohysically if you dont put a stop to this very soon.

     

    If you were my daughter,  I woukd want you to leave that workplace and move on.

    #232529

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Risha:

    Do you have any concerns that he might become violent?

    If you do not, then let your supervisors and his parents intervene, have any authority intervene so that he stops all his efforts to contact you.

    Reads to me that he is mentally unwell, and/ or a big time ass&^%.

    anita

    #232745

    Brandy
    Participant

    Hi Risha,

    How fortunate you are to NOT be married to this guy! He called you 100 times in one day? And he tried to contact your mother to tell her lies about you? Not only is this guy mentally unstable but he’s also a cruel ass$#@! No more feeling sorry for him. Shut this down. There are laws in the U.S. to protect people from harassment, stalking, etc. Keep yourself safe.

    B

    #232873

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Risha:

    How are you?

    anita

    #232957

    risha
    Participant

    Hi Brandy & Anita,

    I am really not feeling ok. I actually was worried about him as why is he behaving this way and I really thought I should pick the phone to check what’s bothering him. I thought if he wants to scold me and blame me I would hear that if that brings him some peace if that makes him stop doing this again coz I really felt sorry for him to see him call me this way. and I though he was depressed and that he regrets for what he did to me.  I really wanted to help him if he was going thru something that he couldn’t tell anyone.

    But today I just checked his social media accounts after a very long time coz I stopped following him for sometime. so I saw all his posts since the day I stopped following him. He looks so happy by posting his selfies and he has checked into so many places (God knows with whom) and also posted few pics with his family, etc. So he seems perfectly fine and moving on. And I saw that girl liking all his pics with kisses signs. So I was really hurt again to see all of these.

    He told he found someone and left me for his family even after I told him that I want to work things between us he said he cant change his decision and he left me. So I respected his decision and I walked out from his life. Blocked him from all communications except for my work direct number (coz I am unable to block that)  and I’m trying my best to move on with a lot of effort.

    But its been more than one month since we broke up but he’s not letting me move on. I don’t understand why is he doing this to me. After seen all his updates I feel it’s not worth feeling sorry for him. I am so sad bcoz he has no value for me and for whatever that we shared for the last 7 years.

    After treating me so badly I still felt sorry for him and I was thinking to help him out even if I get hurt. But on the other hand he doesn’t care about my emotions. He’s disturbing me time to time.

    I am very hurt to see such behavior from a person whom I loved and trusted so much. I have no words to express how disappointed I am.

    Risha

     

    #232963

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Risha:

    Good to read from you. I wish you felt better. I suppose anytime you feel sorry for him, you can look at his social media page and not feel sorry for him anymore.

    He ended the relationship with you. If he feels badly about it at times, this is a consequence of his choice. It is not your job to void the consequences of his choices. It would be silly, wouldn’t it, for you to express to him something like this: oh, you feel badly, okay. I will be here for you whenever you feel badly. You can be with your new girlfriend and family, have your life. When you want a break from them, I am here for you.

    That would be silly, wouldn’t it.

    anita

Viewing 15 posts - 151 through 165 (of 202 total)

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