Home→Forums→Relationships→I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love
- This topic has 1,866 replies, 59 voices, and was last updated 2 days, 23 hours ago by
anita.
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August 10, 2026 at 5:36 pm #459996
ConfusedParticipantHey anita
Yeah, so was it kinda like depression/anhedonia? Because if it was related only to her, i would be fine with leaving her and finding another girl or doing my hobbies like before.
Yeah i noticed that, i even told her that it could be happening because she was nearing the trip and she started having panic attacks and stuff…. we are so similar
August 10, 2026 at 8:45 pm #460000
anitaParticipantHey Dear Confused:
“If it (the depression/ annhedonia) was related only to her, I would be fine”-
But if she meant EVERYTHING to you, if you were so very invested in her (or in the idea of her) so intensely, so overwhelmingly, is it a wonder that the depression/ annhedonia spread to EVERY part of your life?
🤔 Anita
August 10, 2026 at 8:57 pm #460001ConfusedParticipantHmm, where are u going with this?
August 10, 2026 at 9:08 pm #460002anitaParticipantNot going anywhere with this, was hoping you go somewhere with this..
She meant everything to you before Nov? Maybe not?
August 10, 2026 at 9:30 pm #460003ConfusedParticipantYeah she did, i still remember how i would feel anytime i would say something impulsive in the thought of pushing her away, or when we kept silent for 2-3 days and she would text me, i’d get such a relief. I remember in september when the misunderstanding happened my stomach was almost out of my body, cramped by fear that i lost her. In november too.. the last thing i wanted was to lose her, for the first time in my life i felt like it was a matter of life & death… and look at me now, how well i did 🙂
August 10, 2026 at 9:52 pm #460004anitaParticipantHey Dear Confused:
I’m trying to make Confused less confused 🙂
You mentioned many times how you didn’t lose feelings only in the context of her in your life, but in the context of everyone and everything in your life. What I’m pointing to is that if she was life itself for you, if she- or what she represented to you- meant everything, no wonder you lost feeling for everything else.
Or.. am I confused?
🤔 Anita
August 10, 2026 at 10:04 pm #460005anitaParticipantHey Confused: I just noticed your sarcasm (or is it irony, I confuse the two) in your “and look at me now, how well I did 🙂”-
Confused is taking more responsibility than what belongs to you. How about 50% instead of 100%?
August 11, 2026 at 5:36 am #460010ConfusedParticipantHey anita
I see what u are trying to say, that i lost feelings for her and because our relationship was my life’s greatest joy it all crumbled. But that still doesn’t make sense because when u lose feelings for someone u are relieved to break up. And it felt so amazing when i was holding her/kissing her in december, if i had lost feelings i wouldn’t feel anything or repulsed by that. Also i wouldnt be crying my guts out for months on end, not feeling happy with her happiness when i would buy her flowers,etc.
Idk anita, is it 50% ? This girl truly loved me and i lied straight to her face while i knew she knew, she was telling me the whole time and i just chose to keep on lying because i was scared.. Its so hard everyday without her, i wake up hoping i’ll get a message or something. She’s always in my mind no matter what im doing and i still feel like sharing my every day with her..It hurts so much when u push a good person away.. I doubt life will get any better for me anytime soon 🙁
August 11, 2026 at 11:05 am #460263anitaParticipantHey.. Confused:
I see how much you’re hurting, and it makes me 🙁
“But that still doesn’t make sense because when u lose feelings for someone u are relieved to break up… If I had lost feelings, I wouldn’t feel anything… I wouldn’t be crying my guts out for months on end”-
If you permanently lost feelings, it’d make sense that you’d be relieved to break up, would never feel anything for her and wouldn’t cry your guts out for months on end.
But you only temporarily lost feelings.
“And it felt so amazing when I was holding her/kissing her in December”-
There were amazing moments during the visit, but on the whole, it was not an amazing visit. There were lots of doubts, distance and disconnection on both sides.
This is what you said about the visit back on Dec 21:
“The visit went okay, it was our first time meeting, I stayed for 3 days, and she knew what was happening inside my head, so she was also distant/disconnected… I liked her in person and my body responded very well to us kissing and cuddling (even tho my mind was constantly doubting everything). Took her a lot of time opening up and even touching me tho. The first 2 days she was keeping her distance which I respected (because she needs to develop a sense of trust and security before getting intimate, especially after I planted many doubts in her head).”
Back to today: “Idk anita, is it 50%? This girl truly loved me… It hurts so much when u push a good person away.”- you place her love on a pedestal, seeing it as perfect at all times (100%)?”-
I think that the 2 of U are good people and neither one of you is perfect (100%). (I would like to think of myself in the same way).
“It’s so hard every day without her, I wake up hoping I’ll get a message or something. She’s always in my mind no matter what I’m doing, and I still feel like sharing my every day with her… I doubt life will get any better for me anytime soon 🙁”-
I think that one way for life to feel better for you is to let go of the ideas that (1) what you lost was perfect love, on either side, and that (2) you carry the sole responsibility for the breakup.
I would like to read from you anytime you feel like talking to me.
🌿 Anita
August 11, 2026 at 4:33 pm #460272ConfusedParticipantHey anita
Yes, the void and emptiness is unreal… it feels like i can’t exist, idk how else i can describe it 🙁
Hmm, how can u temporarily lose feelings tho?
There was anxiety and awkwardness during the whole visit yes, given our fight and what happened to me on November it was normal, but still, i miss those times and i would go again in a heartbeat if she told me right now 🙁
No no i dont think i place her on a pedestal, i see her negatives and i call her out but still, i love “us”, what we had, our connection with our inside jokes, special language and communication, the reels, the caring part, the dreaming part.. I had told her that after her visit here, i would visit germany with her as soon as she returns from cyprus in november and then we could go to another country for X-mas and she liked it very much.. 🙁
Im not saying it was perfect love but it was so unique and deep, felt different on many levels, intimacy, romance, gestures, expressing our loving parts without the fear of being judged, i was feeling like we had each other’s backs.. I mean, i think i am the one to blame on a 70% part, since this all began with me and my dumb/innocent mind.
Thank you anita, for taking the time to reply and also search our topic way back.. I feel so hopeless, like literally i don’t even want to exist, i want her back, i want “us”.. How is she so cruel and distanced herself like that? 🙁
August 11, 2026 at 4:58 pm #460273anitaParticipantHey Confused: I’ll get back 2 U in a couple of hours or so.
August 11, 2026 at 10:20 pm #460278anitaParticipantHey Dear Confused:
I hear your pain 🙁
I think she represented a kind of love you’ve been longing for your whole life — something you hoped would finally feel safe and complete. And the intensity you felt was real, even if the relationship itself wasn’t fully lived or stable yet.
You weren’t ready to commit to a forever life together; you were willing to try a month and see how it felt. That’s okay — it just means the connection was still forming, not finished.
Something about her, and about the distance of the LDR, created very strong feelings inside you. Those feelings were real.
How are you now?
Anita
August 12, 2026 at 5:00 am #460284ConfusedParticipantHey anita
Yes, she was unique, even with all the ups and downs i felt amazing and strong feelings with her, felt loved and cared for, a deep connection..
We had to take it step by step but i believe we would have a great time living together, sadly i didn’t get to experience that 🙁
I don’t think distance had anything to do with how i felt, it was negative not positive for me.
Again, empty and hollow, opening my eyes and waiting on a message that will never come, reality hits me that she’s gone, we messed up and ruined something beautiful.. i miss my time there with her, i would go in a heartbeat.
August 12, 2026 at 10:00 am #460285anitaParticipantHey Dear Confused:
She was/ is unique, and so are you (the bee’s knees 🙂) Please remember that!
Yes, many times, you felt amazing and strong feelings with her, loved and cared for.
How did it feel inside, to be loved and cared for?
I too feel sad that she’s gone. I miss reading about your conversations, and I hope that an irl relationship will materialize 😔
Are you still talking to your coworkers- friends about her?
🌿 Anita
August 12, 2026 at 10:01 am #460286anitaParticipantEdit: And I hoped
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