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I just randomly and suddenly fell out of love

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  • April 23, 2026 at 4:41 pm #457237
    anita
    Participant

    Oh, I was referring to the first order of things as a possibility. I vote for the 2nd, the one starting with “future plans talk”.

    “I don’t like me”- 😞 Tell me more?

    April 23, 2026 at 5:02 pm #457238
    Confused
    Participant

    But why would that affect my whole being and not just the relationship with her? It seems very strange to me.

    Hmm, ever since the day this happened, i’ve been at war with myself, the feelings, the numbness, everything.

    April 23, 2026 at 5:17 pm #457239
    anita
    Participant

    Maybe because your relationship with her meant so much to your whole being. Remember you said that you were quite flat, emotionally before you met her and then you felt so wonderful with her. So, when you lost that wonderful (in your whole being), it was devastating.

    Being at war with yourself is never a good idea. Even if part of you win, the whole of your being loses.

    April 23, 2026 at 6:57 pm #457244
    Confused
    Participant

    I can’t really be sure of anything anymore, all my past is blurry. I remember how much she meant to me, but i dont remember details before her. Maybe u are right tho. But why did i lose it if i wanted it so much?

    I think i dont care anymore. Now i feel angry and upset for some reason lol

    April 23, 2026 at 7:37 pm #457245
    anita
    Participant

    Confused lol-ed. Angry and upset 😡 for no reason?

    Okay, let me put together what I understand from what we talked about since Dec 19 (4 months & 4 days ago- 4 & 4):

    You grew up in a violent home, with a.. well, a crazy mother. To survive her, you normalized the situation best you could, like, ‘no big deal’: You turned the volume down on your emotions.

    That turning down the volume became a pattern.

    Fast forward, you’re in a LDR, it feels relatively safe (she’s a distance away), so the emotional volume goes up.

    Next, you’re talking about meeting IRL for the first time, and maybe you moving to her country so to live together, and you get scared, and the volume of your emotions is turned down, real down.

    😡 🌙 🦉 Anita

    April 23, 2026 at 8:14 pm #457246
    Confused
    Participant

    Yes idk why..I read her card again and cried a bit, then i was shopping online for a gift on her nameday which is a month from now and i was happy and excited thinking of her reaction. Then suddenly i felt dysphoria and anger lol. Could it be that im hangry?

    Ok even tho i cant consciously connect them, why am i turning the volume down?

    Hmm, how can i prevent that then?

    April 23, 2026 at 8:20 pm #457248
    anita
    Participant

    Wait, “hangry”? A mispelling or hungry-angry?

    How you can prevent the turning the emotional volume down?

    It takes relaxing, really relaxing.

    😡 🐔 🙏 Anita

    April 23, 2026 at 8:34 pm #457250
    Confused
    Participant

    Yes, i am hungry and maybe because of that i got angry.. I am trying to shed some kilos since today haha

    Well damn, i cant ever remember myself being relaxed.

    April 23, 2026 at 8:48 pm #457251
    anita
    Participant

    So, hangry it is.

    Oh, I understand not feeling relaxed. I am very much a beginner at relaxing. But truly, the answer is right there- in relaxing, somehow.

    😌 Anita

    April 23, 2026 at 8:55 pm #457252
    Confused
    Participant

    I guess i got to sleep it off now..

    The only times i would relax would be with a loved one, hugging and just being there. I remembered back in 2019 with an ex of mine, the hugs used to feel so strongly content and warm. I felt that with the current one but i was clouded by anxiety, but still, i can’t remember the feeling..

    April 23, 2026 at 8:59 pm #457253
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Hangry Confused:

    Trying to solve problems strictly from ‘the head’ (thinking, analyzing)- doesn’t work because the heart needs to be heard deeper than the noise of thinking-thinking-thinking.

    🤍 💙 💕 Anita

    April 23, 2026 at 9:07 pm #457254
    anita
    Participant

    Double posting, Confused: may the 🌙 🦉 know some relaxation this eay Friday morning in Greece.

    Good night from WA, Anita

    April 24, 2026 at 12:09 pm #457267
    Confused
    Participant

    Hey anita

    Yes that’s what ive been doing for the whole time now..I dont know how to hear my heart 🙁

    April 24, 2026 at 3:09 pm #457268
    anita
    Participant

    Hey 🙁 Confused: What if you imagine that you are a father to the 🙁 boy confused (the inner child concept) and let him talk to you in a child way of talking.. and type it here, whatever he is saying spontaneously?

    April 24, 2026 at 5:52 pm #457270
    Confused
    Participant

    Nothing comes out when i try that, it’s like there is nothing there. Even though i’ve heard people doing that.

    Another paradox that bothers me is, i text her/call her, we have a lot of fun, playfulness, teasing each other, warm moments, but next day i wont have the “urge” to initiate contact again. I can’t understand me.. Even tho i have no urge for anything

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