Emojis in regard to Copilot’s criticism of my reply 😠 🤢 🤕 🤮 😫 🤒 😡

Hey Dear Confused:

“She’s my Bubu” ohhhh 😍

Even though the feeling changed, still ohhh ❤️

My experience with depression was miserable. Thing is I don’t remember myself not being depressed. That’s why in the last few years I feel like a child/ teenager.. young, for the first time.

The meds (SSRIs) helped (I was in my 30s when I started taking them. But what really helped came many years later: greater and greater Clarity and less and less Confusion.

“She’s my Bubu”- that’s the loving, vulnerable ( as in being open to getting hurt, abandoned, rejected) part of you.

“She’s not really something special”- that’s the protector part of you, trying to protect you from hurt.

“I felt nothing”- that’s the vulnerable part 🔒-ed, ⏸️-ed, protected.

“That’s a mechanism”- of protection.

🔑 🙏 ✨️ Anita

Hey Dear Confused:

Negative side effects from SSRIs? No, none in my 17 year experience with 2 SSRIs. No complaints at all. Nothing but positive.

Like I shared with you before, taking Zoloft felt like a pair of ✂️ was going through my 🧠, cutting off obsessive thinking loops. It was quite magical for me.

Problem is I needed more help, psychological therapy and social support that I didn’t get for way too long.

Your heart, your soul is beautiful. Scared but beautiful. Confused. You so deserve peace of mind and heart.

✂️ 🙏 🧠 🔑 🐰 Anita

The thing about SSRIs- it’s a personal compatibility thing. It takes time for a good (!) psychiatrist and a patient to figure out what drug is best for the particular person and at what dosage.

Weird numb sensations..? Something unpleasant that you didn’t experience before?

My obsessive loops back then (in the 90s)- jealousy, obsessing about someone’s past, his ex girlfriend or girlfriend’s (I don’t remember now) like it was happening right there and then in front of me.

It was really nice to not have those movies playing in my 🧠 again and again.

✂️✂️✂️ Anita

Oh, yes, SSRIs are known for sexual side effects.

Hmm I didn’t think of it as retroactive jealousy, ROCD. Now retroactively I am thinking of it this way 🤔

Those thoughts I suppose were my protector part, seeing betrayal now ( well, back then) so to not face future betrayal.

✂️✂️✂️✂️✂️✂️✂️✂️✂️ Anita

Oh, dear Confused: I wish I could send courage your way in regard to the video call 📞 later today.

Well, I can send it your way, here it goes: 💪 💪 💪 (the only emoji I could summon, regardless, Courage Ur Way!

I’ll be back in a few hours.

You are welcome, Confused!

“I started crying saying ‘not my baby, no!'”- this is an emotion that expresses a strong attachment, this is you NOT having checked out!

Hey anita

I would say the same but then my mind says: maybe it’s not real and its ur need for attachment projected, constant doubts.

Yeah we did have the videocall for 8 hours, we laughed, we teased and we discussed something in the end that was kinda the November talk that possibly triggered me, but this time i voiced my opinions and didnt get triggered. Basically she asked me what my “goals” are in the love department, hers is to get married eventually, that’s why she dates, not for fun. I told her i dont care about marriage, i want a partner to share my life with and possibly build together and be there for each other, marriage or not i dont really care. I told her i would marry my girl if that’s what she wanted but it doesn’t make a difference for me. She said “so u will compromise”, i said it’s not really a compromise for me since i dont feel like im giving something up, my feelings don’t change marriage or not. So probably she didnt like this answer. Then she asked me again if i would be willing to leave my friends and move to Cyprus and i asked her if she would move to Greece, she said “if u make me feel like it” and i said the same to her. I told her i dont prioritize my friends in my life choices since my friends will eventually build their own families and leave me behind, so i have my future girlfriend as a priority because that’s the person i’ll end up spending my life with, supposedly. She said that she’s having a hard time living away from her family but she would consider. So i told her that the issue here is more on her side, since my “obstacles” are just logistics (job-property) and hers is emotional attachment. But anyway, we both agreed that we have to spend time together if we want to see if it works, but now she’s anxious (like me) that if she visits me and it doesn’t work out, then what? (meaning we will be again blocked with anxiety), but i told her that if we meet with this mindset ofc we will not feel anything positive since we’re filled with fear and preoccupation, but why wouldn’t it work since we both felt amazing in December? She said “idk” and then we left it at that.

What’s ur opinion anita? Could this have been my major trigger (commitmentphobe) that shut me down?