Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Akilah S. Richards

“Not what we have but what we enjoy constitutes our abundance.” ~John Petit-Senn

Yoga retreats in rural getaways nestled in tropical mountain spaces. Exploration trips for pleasure and business on the east and west coasts. Bike riding and people watching on Santa Monica Boulevard.

Recognition and sponsorship from leaders in my professional circle. Adventures with my husband and daughters in Jamaica.

Even with all these rich life experiences, still my focus was always the same: If I could just have more money, my life could finally get good.

The past year found me deep on a journey to discover the muted parts of my life.

Through meditation, exercise, candid conversations, and radical self-expression, I’ve learned so much about myself, the influence my past has had on my present, and the ways in which I’ve been hiding.

Some of these revelations have been stark, not the least of which is the realization that a good chunk of my mutedness is rooted in one five-letter word: money.

For most of us, it’s inarguable that we need money to cover our day-to-day lives. 

Even with my minimalist tendencies, I’m not one to give away the majority of all I own and take a vow of poverty. Truth is, I’m way too attached to shoes, obnoxiously loud colors of nail polish, and unconstructed blazers to fully adopt the less-is-more philosophy.

I can say though, that the more I release from my life (both physically and emotionally), the more access I gain to my Higher Self. 

This access opened my eyes to a finding that has already created significant changes in my relationship with the energy of money. I’ve made it one of my daily life chants:

While you design your best life,

don’t chase the money,

crave the experience.

I’ve always chased money. More specifically, I’ve always viewed my connection with money akin to patches of grass. I’d earn enough to cover a bit of ground, but never enough to cover a respectable-sized lawn.  Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Justin W. Riggs

“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” ~Gandhi

It was 1999, and my life stunk. I had failed miserably as a missionary for my church, I’d been sent to a mental hospital and diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and I was in the process of losing the woman I thought I was going to marry.

I was in bad shape, and didn’t have a clue as to how I could right the ship, so to speak.

Now, 13 years later, I have a great job that provides for me and my family. I have a beautiful wife, two lovely children (with another on the way!), and plenty of free time to pursue the hobbies I enjoy. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and thanks to a few tiny little pills I take every day I also enjoy good physical and mental health.

I don’t want to leave you with the impression that everything changed completely overnight. It didn’t.

To deal with the loss of my girlfriend I did some therapy; I put myself back on the market and did a lot of dating; I consciously chose to let go of what I thought should happen, and accept what had happened. Slowly I healed, until one day I realized that I was open to loving fully again.

Dealing with my mental illness is a challenge that continues to this day. I’ve put in place the foundation for good mental health by accepting the fact that I will need to be medicated for the rest of my life.

After making that choice there has still been an endless parade of medications as we try to find the right cocktail for me. And even with the medications, I still have good times and bad. The medication, I’ve found, is a tool, and not a panacea.

Making these outward choices has really helped, but there is one thing that really changed everything for me: I changed my attitude.

What caused that change? I read a book called Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl.

Frankl was a neurologist and psychiatrist who was imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp during World War II. He was forced to work as a slave laborer and watch as many of his peers died slow and miserable deaths.

He was separated from his own wife, mother, and father, and lost them all before the war ended. But what did Frankl learn from his time in the concentration camp? Here’s what he had to say:

“Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances…”

When I read those words, something clicked inside of me. I intuitively knew that they were true, and I knew that I needed to learn how to give myself an attitude adjustment if I wanted to have any measure of peace in this world. So I began to study. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Jared Akers

“Feelings or emotions are the universal language and are to be honored. They are the authentic expression of who you are at your deepest place.” ~Judith Wright

On March 12^th of 2006 I faced an important decision: life or death? From my perspective, death seemed reasonable, logical, and easy. Life on the other hand was difficult and full of disappointment.

That was the day I realized I had no idea how to be happy or live with my true self. All I knew and felt in my soul was aloneness; an emotional black hole that consumed me.

Being Emotional vs. Being Emotionally Connected

How I got to that point is a long story, full of addictions, failed relationships, lost jobs, and victimization. Looking back, I realize I hit the bottom as a result of not being connected to myself.

To be perfectly clear, I’ve always been an emotional person. You know—touchy feely, crying when Old Yeller died, etc.

But being emotional and emotionally connected to self are two completely different things.

Being emotional meant I took everything personally. This made intense relationships with the opposite sex agonizing. Every little argument meant she didn’t love me and was walking out the door.

I realized early on it was just easier to avoid them; or at least bolt when they starting getting too serious.

Avoiding Uncomfortable Emotions

I had too many emotional blind spots—out of the way places I’d shove uncomfortable feelings, in some corner of my soul. I’d keep moving just fast enough to keep them unseen in the rearview mirror.

If it was uncomfortable, I didn’t want anything to do with it.

I avoided conversations that might include, “What are you thinking?” or “What are you feeling?” My closest friends were co-workers and anyone who frequented the same bars I did. I refer to that period as my “five dollar life” because I would never put more than $5 worth of gas in my car at one time.

Not because I lacked the funds so much; I just couldn’t stand still long enough. I was in a hurry to get things done, change the world, and make my mark. I was going places while getting nowhere in a hurry. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Cathy Taughinbaugh

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” ~Marianne Williamson

Are you a dog lover? I know I am.

Animals of all kinds can bring us so much joy, not only when things are going well, but also when we feel pain and are suffering.

“Man’s best friend” can be our true and faithful companions through thick and thin. We look to our pets when we are ready to play and laugh, and they instinctively know when we need their support.

I’ve had a dog most of my life. From purebreds to mutts, I’ve loved them all. It has always felt comforting to me to have a dog around. The joy dogs provide is well worth the effort.

We all have struggles and challenges in our life, and it’s during those times that our pets can really come in handy to help us find our joy.

One of my most stressful challenges was discovering my daughter’s addiction to crystal meth. I felt blindsided by this discovery. I knew she was struggling, but this was something I had never expected.

I learned from this experience that the time I have spent working on myself, as opposed to the time I have spent trying to fix her problem, has been the most meaningful and the most productive. Despite having addiction in my life, I could find my joy again.

For parents in the midst of addiction with their children, it can be emotionally exhausting for long periods of time. It’s easy to let the stress of the situation overtake you.

I am one of the lucky ones. My daughter has gone on to seek recovery for her addiction. She has grown and matured in ways I would never have expected.

We have both learned life lessons, and have evolved into new and hopefully better people. We both know to take it one day at a time.

From this experience, I found I needed to change. I needed to approach life in a new way.

As I watch my dog go through her day, I realize the lessons are really right there in front of me if I care to pay attention.

Here are some of the ways I can be the person my dog wants me to be, and be the person I want to be as well. I know that whatever life brings me, joy is still always there for the taking. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Madison Sonnier

“Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable. A spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed.” ~ Buddha

I am a very emotional person. I suspect I feel things about ten times more intensely than the average person.

When I’m sad, I’m really sad. When I’m stressed, I’m really stressed. When I’m nervous, I’m really nervous.

Some people would call it being dramatic. I simply call it a genuine aspect of my personality.

I’ve noticed that I have this awful habit of masking how I truly feel or forcing myself to feel differently. It seems as if I constantly have to remind myself that I am a human being and that it’s okay to feel bad sometimes. No one is a positive ray of sunshine every second of every day.

We all want to feel good and happy. When something is upsetting us, all we want is to feel better as soon as possible. But I’ve slowly learned that trying to convince yourself that you’re fine when you’re not will only make you feel worse.  

Whenever I go through some sort of fallout, whether it’s with a friend or a love interest, I immediately cover the wound by telling myself that I’m over that person and they mean nothing to me anymore. I just smile and tell everyone I’m over it and then cry in the bathroom after dinner.

Also, when I went through a phase of feeling depressed and lonely all the time, I would fake smiles and assure everyone, including myself that I was perfectly fine.

I would honestly tell myself to stop being so pathetic and dramatic and that I had no reason to be under such a large, black cloud all the time. I shoved my feelings away and never opened myself up to talk about anything.

The same thing tends to happen even if I’m feeling a positive emotion. There have been times where I’ve felt happy, but let negative people put a damper on my spirit. I would hold back my optimism whenever I was around them.

Sometimes, people will tear you down when you’re happy or make you feel like you don’t deserve to be happy. It makes you feel as if being happy is wrong or offensive.

I often tell myself that what I’m feeling is irrational or stupid. I feel obligated to pretend that I’m stronger and happier than I actually am, even when I’m not. It is extremely rare for me to ever sit down and openly talk about my real feelings.

I always smother or bottle everything up and it’s not healthy.   Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

Note: This winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

• Maloney411
• kgirl

It’s often occurred to me that the most important components of my peace and happiness are actually quite simple. When I start feeling overwhelmed or unbalanced, it’s generally because I’ve complicated things and lost touch with what truly matters.

This is precisely why I loved reading David J. Singer’s book Six Simple Rules for a Better Life: it offers practical wisdom by focusing on the simplest of ideas—which we nonetheless forget at times—and includes concrete suggestions to make incremental change across multiple areas of our lives.

David writes in a warm, down-to-earth tone, and shares his experiences, insights, and, most importantly, his humanity with candor, which makes the book easily digestible and accessible.

I’m excited to share a little about David and Six Simple Rules for a Better Life, and also offer two free autographed copies.

The Giveaway

1. Leave a comment below, noting one “rule” or guideline that you’ve adopted for your health and happiness.

2. Tweet: RT @tinybuddha GIVEAWAY and Interview: Six Simple Rules for a Better Life http://bit.ly/x0zZM4

If you don’t have a Twitter account, you can still enter by completing the first step. You can enter until midnight PST on Friday, January 6^th. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

Important Note: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen! You can purchase Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions on Amazon.com. Also, be sure to subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails!

The winners:

• DeniseJane2010
• Cd_at_aspenacres
• Printpopceo

Happy almost 2012!

It’s been an exciting year for Tiny Buddha. For one thing, the community has grown, but what I find most exciting is that the number of people sharing their stories and engaging with other people has increased exponentially.

During the first year, I published two posts from the community per week. In January of 2011, submissions slowed down, and I wondered if perhaps I’d need to take a new direction with the blog.

In February, however that all changed, and posts started coming in so frequently that I was able to publish one per day, and oftentimes had to ask people to hold off on submitting so that I could catch up.

That has remained steady all year, and I’m excited to see that countless insightful, helpful, loving conversations have unfolded in the comments, some which included me and others that did not.

Tiny Buddha is what it is because people are willing to be honest about their experiences, and in doing so help others and let them know they are not alone. If you haven’t already, I hope you’ll contribute a post in 2012!

I have learned so much for everyone who has shared themselves here. So here are the top 10 insights of 2011 (based on page views and comments): Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Mika Maddela

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

As I was looking in the mirror, I was feeling the soft curves of my body, all the way down to the flesh on my belly to where it met my hips. I was frowning at my “belly pooch” as I pinched my skin between my fingers. I had a name for my belly pooch and the other not so desirable places on my body.

I called those places “my chubs.”

My partner and I like to play fight. As we often chased each other around the apartment, he would playfully tease me about “my chubs.” I would always squeal back at him with a “don’t touch my chubs” as I tried to tickle him.

It was all fun and games. However, there was a small part of me that the detested how I felt when my “chubs” would get tickled or playfully grabbed.

You may be thinking, “Why don’t you just ask him to stop tickling you?” Being tickled is a symptom of a problem, rather than a problem in itself.

The problem is that I was more frustrated at myself because I allowed other people’s words and actions to feed my worst enemy—my inner critic.

There are days when my inner critic can be extra cruel.

Like countless people out there, I’ve put my body through a lot with all the latest diet trends. From keeping track of my calories, to the slow-carb diet, the no carb diet, vegetarianism to even eating only one meal a day. I was constantly looking for something to help me feel beautiful on the outside.

No matter how much weight I lost, I still couldn’t see the beauty my lover saw. Even when I was making progress, the friendly tickle fights with my lover or a quick glimpse of my reflection in a window would stir up negative emotions.

Whenever this happened, my inner critic would often hurl me down the depths of despair and a sea of self-loathing.

I could easily blame the media’s portrayal of what a beautiful woman looks like by picking up a magazine, turning on the television or looking at a billboard. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Jamie Hoang

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” ~Plato

Ever since elementary school, I have had a built in network of friends, family, and colleagues who make up my rock solid foundation of support.

But recently, I’ve been struggling with being alone and desperate for human interaction—more specifically conversation and affirmation; and conversation that includes affirmation of my creative choices would be the holy grail of friendship.

Two months ago I moved to a new city where I knew exactly two people; one was my cousin who I hadn’t seen in over 15 years and the other was an old co-worker’s sister (which come to think of it doesn’t really count as knowing someone does it?).

Both have become wonderful companions, who I see every other week or so, and share many commonalities with; but I wanted a deeper friendship, someone to tell me that, yes, I had gained a little weight and tomorrow we’d go the gym.

Normally I shied away from strangers, skeptical of their intentions; but if I kept that up I’d meet no one. So, in a bit of a social experiment (forged by pure desperation), I decided to strike up a conversation with someone new every day.

So far, about 90% of the conversations end with a simple thank you and us parting ways, never to meet again. But the other 10% of my attempts have been eye-opening.

Today for instance, while at the gym, I met this stunning woman, whose legs were reason enough for me to hate her. But I smiled sweetly and asked her how she was doing. Ten minutes later I had learned that she ate extremely healthy and worked out every day (hence the amazing figure), but also that she was the mother of a 5 year-old girl.  Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Kristi Blicharski

“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” ~Gandhi

Ten years ago I was a young executive working in a fairly high-profile job at a big entertainment studio.  I had an office with a view, a gorgeous convertible, and a huge wardrobe. I was invited to fantastic parties every week.

From the outside, it seemed like I had it all. I was convinced that I did have it all, because everyone was telling me how great it was. It was the life I’d been conditioned to strive for.

The truth was, I was incredibly empty and unhappy inside. I wondered almost daily what was wrong with me. Instead of pausing to try to figure out the source of my grief, I kept going, convinced that it would go away on its own if I just stayed the course. 

I was grateful for what I’d accomplished, but happy was another story. I was spending long days in what was a toxic work environment. I spent much of my time dodging people with negative energy and watching kind, capable people around me quit because of the stress or disappear due to office politics. I found myself laying low and wishing I were somewhere else.

I thought one of the answers to filling the emptiness I was feeling in my life was lots of stuff. I shopped like crazy. I was making pretty good money for the first time in my life and was on a mad mission to find the next thing to make me happy. It wasn’t working.

I went to parties, polluted myself with too many cocktails, and burned the candle at both ends thinking that I was creating a rockin’ life for myself, and that somehow, some way, it would lead to happiness.

Yes, there were some good times, but it seemed that no matter what I did, I still felt empty—like I was simply existing rather than living.

One night I was awakened by what felt like my heart pounding out of my chest. I was shaking, in a cold sweat, and could barely breathe. My pillow was soaked. I sprung up and realized that what was happening was a physical reaction to all the stress and the downward spiral I was in.

My body was finally telling me to wake up or face serious consequences.  Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Danielle Nelson

 “Every new day is another chance to change your life” ~Unknown

Take a moment to imagine it: your ideal day. At work or at play. Big events or routine tasks.

Imagine how you’d feel as you yawn, stretch, and step out of bed. What your first action would be. Your second.

What you’d eat, what you’d do, and how you’d spend your time. The lightness of happiness as you ease (or not, if that’s your pleasure) from one activity to the next. Your ideal day, start to finish.

Just imagine.

Picturing your ideal day is a common exercise that I use with my clients. It’s clarification visualization, a way to hone in on what you’re really after in your professional and personal life.

Last week, while working my way through an e-course to help bring focus into my business and life, I found myself on the other end of that exercise: writing out my ideal day.

On my ideal day, I woke up well-rested. After my morning exercise and shower, I sat down with a tasty beverage, reviewed my planner for the day ahead, and felt excited about what I had on my plate.

My tasks were spread throughout the day with plenty of space in between—an element missing from my current, “non-ideal” life—and there was time for creativity, reading, and “magical content creation.” This is how I reframed writing, a task I struggle with, suggesting that the words would come easily.

The day would lead to a dinner created by my own hand from fresh, local ingredients, and it would also include plenty of sunshine, fresh air, and nature’s beauty. It would conclude with a good night’s sleep to start the process all over again. My ideal day was about space, self-care, balance, and excitement.

But I didn’t just write about it. I thought about it. And then, most importantly, I let myself have it.

After I completed the exercise, I set out to incorporate just one thing—one feeling—into my “normal” everyday life. I chose space, because it was a predominant theme for me and the thing I felt the most drawn to.

Everything in my current world had felt very crammed together—work, friends, family, downtime; it all felt rushed. Deep inside, I craved breathing room.

When I sat down to incorporate space into my schedule, I was surprised at what I found: that I had the “room” to incorporate so much of my ideal day into my life right now. Not the sunshine, of course—I can’t control the weather—but I could have not just space, but balance, self-care, and excitement, too.

Not five years from now, or even two—right now.

It might seem impossible, but whether your ideal day involves a tropical beach, margaritas, and courteous and attentive staff, spending more time with your kids, or writing a novel, it can be done! Step by step, little by little, you can get there.

Here’s are some steps that are helping me do it: Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Jake O’Callaghan

“What is the meaning of life? To be happy and useful.” ~Dalai Lama

Success is something most of us want. But we want happiness, too.

I think we go about these two important things the wrong way. With some simple changes, I believe anyone can become both happy and successful.

The Conventional Success Story

A man, dissatisfied with his life, wants to become successful, and, therefore, happy.

So he seeks out a millionaire. The millionaire is the head CEO of a Fortune 500 Company. He has fancy cars, many possessions, and most importantly, a huge mansion.

His business is the leader in his industry. It’s safe to say, he’s a conventional success.

Let’s call the first man Cody and the millionaire Richard.

Cody asks Richard “How do I become successful?”

“Walk to the beach with me,” Richard says. “I will teach you the secret to success.”

He agrees and they proceed onto the sand. Richard continues walking into the ocean. Cody is a little confused, but he follows.

Water is now up to their shoulders. Richard turns, and pulls Cody underwater.

Cody is terrified.

He flails maniacally. He scratches. He kicks. He elbows Richard. He uses every bit of his strength trying to get this man off him.

But it’s no use.

His seconds are passing away. He wishes. He prays. He struggles even harder.

But he is becoming lightheaded. He knows he’s finished. He looks out from the water one last time…

But then he is above water. Richard pulled him out.

Cody gasps for air and spits out water. “What th… What the hell was that for?” he yells.

“To be successful,” says Richard, “you need to want success like you wanted to breathe.”

Gasping For Air

This story is for the super-achievers—people who want to do great things. We often admire these people. You might even want to become like Richard.

It was my philosophy, too. In fact, that story inspired me more than anything I had ever heard. I thought constantly about it, trying to apply it to my life. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The Winners:

• Adam Ertur
• James Cuzella

I read a lot of books about mindfulness; this was by far one of my favorites. In his book Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time, Rick Hanson offers practical, daily practices, backed by the latest in brain research, to help us avoid stress, improve our mood, enjoy life more fully, and develop emotional resilience.

This is not merely a book of mindfulness exercises; it’s a guide that helps us rewire our brains for increased happiness and overall well-being. I highly recommend Just One Thing to anyone who’s felt overwhelmed by disempowering, negative thoughts.

The Giveaway

To enter to win 1 of 2 free copies of Just One Thing:

• Leave a comment below (you must be a subscriber to win!)
• Tweet: RT @tinybuddha Book Giveaway & Interview with Rick Hanson: Develop a Buddha Brain http://bit.ly/rW3u3N

If you don’t have a Twitter account, you can still enter by completing the first step. You can enter until midnight PST on Sunday, December 11^th.

The Interview

1. Your work is based on the idea that meditation and mindfulness can change the brain. Can you expand on this?

Actually, I’d put this a little more broadly: my work—and that of many other scholars and clinicians—is grounded in the general fact of “experience-dependent neuroplasticity,” which is the capacity of mental activity to change neural structure.

For example, researchers studied cab drivers who must memorize London’s spaghetti snarl of streets, and at the end of their training their hippocampus—a part of the brain that makes visual-spatial memories—had become thicker: much like exercise, they worked a particular “muscle” in their brain, which built new connections among its neurons.

Similarly, another study found that long-term mindfulness meditators had thicker cortex in parts of the brain that control attention and tune into one’s body.

In the saying from the work of the Canadian psychologist, Donald Hebb: “neurons that fire together, wire together.”

Fleeting thoughts and feelings leave lasting traces in neural structure. Whatever we stimulate in the brain tends to grow stronger over time.

A traditional saying is that the mind takes the shape it rests upon. The modern update would be that the brain takes its shape from whatever the mind rests upon—for better or worse. The brain is continually changing its structure. The only questions are: Who is doing the changing: oneself or other forces? And are these changes for the better?

In this larger context, my focus is on how to apply these new scientific findings: how to use the mind to change the brain to change the mind for the better—for psychological healing, personal growth, and (if it’s of interest) deepening spiritual practice. I’m especially interested in: Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

UPDATE: Please note the pre-order promotion for the Peace and Purpose Bonus Pack has now expired now that the book is officially available for purchase.

As you may have noticed from the various ads, tweets, and Facebook updates, I’ve been running a promotional campaign over the past month leading up to today—the official on-sale date for my first book Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions.

Thank you for being part of this journey with me! It’s my first book, and there have been lots of lessons and surprises along the way. For example…

Originally I understood that books would officially ship from Amazon starting today, but it turns out they’ve been shipping over the last week. That means some of you may have already received your books.

If you did, be sure to forward your confirmation email to bookbonus(AT)tinybuddha(DOT)com to receive the free digital bonus items! I apologize if this wasn’t clear in the email I sent last week (which included the 9 reasons listed below).

If you’d like to write a review on Amazon, I would greatly appreciate that!

If you haven’t ordered yet, today (December 8, 2011) is the last day to receive the digital items in the Peace and Purpose Bonus Pack ($150 value) for free.

For those of you who didn’t receive this email last week, I’d like to share with you these 9 reasons to order Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions today:

1. If you pre-order today, you will receive the Peace and Purpose Bonus Pack (a $150 value) for free. I made it a point to include bonus items that support the content in the book, including several workbooks and meditations. This means you won’t receive dozens of long eBooks you likely don’t have time to read. Instead you’ll find useful tools that directly relate to the issues I explored in my book. Please note these files are delivered electronically. To receive them, you need to forward your confirmation email to bookbonus(AT)tinybuddha(DOT)com.

2. This is the first book of its kind—with tweets woven throughout. Last year, I asked @tinybuddha followers a number of the most challenging questions in life, like:

• Why is there suffering in the world?
• What’s the meaning of life?
• What does it take to be happy?
• Why are relationships hard?

Since there are very few concrete answers to the big questions, I wanted to explore many varied perspectives to create a guide of possibilities for joy, purpose, and connection.

3. Tiny Buddha is honest, candid, and rooted in reality. Although these tweets shaped the book, I also included a great deal of my own struggles, successes, and insights—far more than I’ve ever revealed on the blog.

From my former battle with depression to my struggles with relationships, I shared how these questions have played out in my own life—and what I’ve learned at each step of the way.

4. This book includes entirely original content. This is not a compilation of posts from the site. Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions covers many similar themes and issues, but I was able to explore each topic far more in-depth than I can in any one blog post.

5. The book includes countless action-oriented tips that you can apply at any time to improve your state of mind. It wouldn’t be a Tiny Buddha book without practical suggestions for healing and happiness.

6. Tiny Buddha has received wonderful advanced reviews. Neil of 1000 Awesome Things wrote, “There’s nothing tiny about the extra-large dose of awesome stuffed into Lori’s writing. Read it and feel good about the world.” And according to Jonathan Fields, “Tiny Buddha is a moving and insightful synthesis of evocative stories and ancient wisdom applied to modern life. Great read!”

7. This book makes a great holiday gift. If you know anyone who enjoys Tiny Buddha—or who is searching for meaning and happiness in life—this book would be a great fit. (And it’s somewhat tiny, so it may even fit in a stocking!)

8. Through this book, you’ll learn a few ideas to:

• Let go of pain from the past that’s been weighing you down and holding you back
• Create a sense of purpose, starting right now, even if you’re not doing what you want to do professionally
• Change habits that have not served you well and open up to new, better ways of being
• Experience happiness right now, regardless of your circumstances
• Improve your relationships
• Seize the moment to live more mindfully, passionately, and fearlessly
• Find a sense of control and empowerment in an uncertain world

9. Lastly, you are a part of this book. Even if you didn’t respond to the questions I tweeted on Twitter, you, as part of the community, shaped this book. This is an exciting time for Tiny Buddha, and your involvement played a huge role in making this possible.

You can order Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or a number of independent book sellers. The book will be available in stores by January 1, 2012.

Thank you for being part of this site. You make a difference, and you’re appreciated!

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Terri Cole

“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” ~Marianne Williamson

I got my masters in Clinical Social Work and became a therapist in 1997.

A year later, I got my PHD in Fear.

After a decade as a talent agent predominantly for super models, I was burned out. I realized it was time for a career change when I cared more about getting models into rehab, therapy, and eating disorder clinics than a lucrative Pantene contract.

When I landed in the modeling-agent world, I was convinced I would change an exploitive system. I did not, but the system definitely changed me.

I was desperate to get off the crazy nicotine, caffeine, adrenalin-fueled hamster wheel that had become my life, but did not know how. Apparently, though, the universe had just the plan.

In 1996, I applied to New York University’s Clinical Social Work Masters Program, never imagining I would be accepted. Much to my amazement I was accepted and spent the next two years remotely running the television department for Elite Modeling agency, getting my degree, and teaching acting as an adjunct professor at NYU/Tisch School of the Arts.

Immediately following graduation, the single most important life-changing event happened. I fell in love with my now amazing husband, Victor Juhasz. Vic was a widower with three angry, out-of-control teenage boys. As if being the divorced/widowed father of three sons wasn’t enough, he also lived in New Jersey.

I didn’t care. It was perfect. He was perfect. Intoxicated with love hormones, I thought this talented, successful, gorgeous man could have 22 teenagers, and I would still say, “It’s all good. Love will find a way!” Believe it or not, this was the calm before the storm.

Four months into our relationship, my father, 61 years old and in prime health, dropped dead of a heart attack.

Three months after my father’s death, I discovered a plum-size lump at the base of my throat, which was diagnosed as a large, malignant thyroid tumor. My heart ached as I underwent surgery and radiation while building a relationship with the three boys, whose own beautiful mother died of cervical cancer when they were 5, 3, and 1.

A mere five months later, based solely on my intuition, a more aggressive cancer was discovered on the other side of my thyroid. More surgery, radiation, and isolation followed.

On a quiet evening, two months after the second cancer diagnosis, I leisurely walked onto the back porch to find a huge stocking-faced man holding a .22 to the back of my husband’s head. We were robbed at gunpoint with our youngest son in the house.

My PHD in FEAR was officially complete. For the first time in my life I was afraid—all the time.

The therapist in me knew it was a trauma response; the human in me was still incensed. I made the distinct decision to become a fear expert knowing that I, nor anyone else for that matter, could really live life if fear continued to dominate my mind and my decisions.

I worked though my own fear with the help of my therapist and spent the next 14 years in my busy private therapy practice in New York City researching the effects of fear and the mind-body connection.

I turned my pain into purpose and taught thousands of clients and students to transform their own fear into freedom.

Here are a few truths I have learned about transforming fear. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Tim Brownson

Update: The winners for this giveaway have already been chosen! Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for free daily or weekly emails and to learn about future giveaways!

The winners:

• Jess G
• Sam
• Patrick

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
~Buddha

If you had met me at a party a decade or so ago, I’m sure you would have walked away with the impression I was a bit of a miserable and pessimistic person. I would have happily pointed out to you how much my well-paid job sucked, how stressed I was, and how unfair life was.

And your impression of me would hardly have been elevated if you had been able to hear the conversations that were going on inside my head.

I was giving myself a hard time most of the waking day. Every sale I closed meant I was lucky, and every sale I lost proved I was an idiot. And on the rare occasions I wasn’t blaming myself I was blaming everybody else for my inability to be content and happy with my life.

Do you know there are over twice as many words in the English language for negative emotions and feelings than there are for positive ones? And that’s not exclusive to the English language either because it cuts across all languages and all cultures.

You could hear that and be forgiven for thinking that human beings are a miserable, pessimistic lot at heart, but there’s actually an excellent reason for the imbalance.

As a species we have been sharing this planet with all sorts of creatures that can eat, sting, bite, and even electrocute us for the best part of 200,000 years.

That’s only really changed in the last few hundred years with the explosive growth of mankind. The accompanying deforestation and expanding urbanization wiped out or marginalized entire species that may have previously posed a danger to our existence.

As well as having to be wary of nasty creatures with big pointy teeth we also had to ensure we did not bump into enemy tribes or annoy our tribal elders or peers and risk a lowering of our status.

The brain thinks status is crucial to its survival because tens of thousands of years ago it was status that decided whether you got to stay in the tribe, who (or if) you could marry, and generally how secure and happy you were.

These days somebody unfollowing you on Twitter can be seen by your brain as a decrease in status, as can be being turned down for a date or losing an online role playing game. As such your brain can create a dopamine crash, and that’s why those things tend not to feel good. Click Here to Read More…

by Lori Deschene

If I lived in a massive house and owned numerous private jets, I would personally fly all of you out to Los Angeles for a party to celebrate the launch of my first book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions.

But since I only have a $10, a fortune from a cookie, and a button in my wallet, I hope you’ll join me for a Twitter party instead!

What Is the Tiny Buddha Twitter Party?

This Thursday, December 8^th at 9:00 PM EST/6:00 PST, my friend Karl of Party Biz Connect will host a one-hour teleseminar with me and bestselling authors Jonathan Fields and Gabrielle Bernstein.

During the call, we’ll explore the themes in my book, Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions, including purpose, happiness, and relationships. If you’ve been grappling with the big questions in life, this may help you clarify the answers that make sense for you individually.

How the Twitter Party Works

• You can listen to the call via phone or Skype and you can chat with other people “at” the party on Twitter
• Karl (@partybizconnect) will be asking questions for you to answer, and he will award prizes during the party

If you live outside of the US you can join in via Skype. Click here to find out the details. Once you are on the page click on the little Skype icon on the bottom right. Instructions will pop up for you to follow before you can join us for the party.

How to Participate

• On Thursday, December 8th, 2011 at 9:00 PM EST (6:00 PM PST) call 1 (712) 432-0900 and enter this access code: 758266
• Follow along and play at Tweet Grid, Twitter Search or Tweet Chat
• Join the party by tweeting using the hashtag #tinybuddhabook

The Prizes

By joining the Twitter party, you could win:

• 1 of 3 mentoring sessions (I no longer offer consultations or coaching sessions, so this is actually the only current opportunity to speak with me about blogging.)
• 2 written blog evaluation reports
• 1 of 5 autographed copies of my book Tiny Buddha, Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions

To RSVP

At the bottom of the Twitter party page on Karl’s site, you will see a spot to RSVP by adding your name and your Twitter URL. Please RSVP if you plan to join!

Please note that Thursday is the last day to receive the Peace and Purpose Bonus Pack ($150 value) for free by pre-ordering Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions ($16.95 on Amazon).

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Cary West

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” ~Plato

While volunteering my carpentry skills for Fundacion Uaguitupu on the outskirts of Panama City, Panama, I made a difference by assisting Kuna Indian communities in the renovation of their homes and churches. There was an abundance of necessary repairs, but unfortunately, funding could not keep pace with the work to be done.

After three months of doing what I could with the resources available, I had done little worthy of the evening news, yet a small patch of the world had become a better place because I had been there. Sadly, in many parts of the world it doesn’t take much to be considered an improvement.

I am forever amazed at the capacity of those who live difficult lives to treat others with kindness and compassion. I was welcomed into many homes, treated with great respect, and graciously thanked for my time in the community.

It is humbling to think that I have so much to give, when the truth is I have so much more to learn.

One of the most important things I’ve learned is that…

Each and every one of us can change the world!

Too many of us believe we have no power to make a difference. I have entertained the thought many times.

Making a difference often takes time, and our kindness may not grow roots until long after we’ve fertilized the flower beds. Focus on the act of giving, rather than the results of your actions. Detach from outcome, and you’ll be free to make a difference in ways you never imagined.

You don’t have to eradicate world hunger. Simply do something good everyday.

It’s not results that soothe our souls; it’s actions. In a difficult world, kindness has amazing power.

Every day people endure stressful jobs, demanding relationships, and backbreaking responsibility. Every day people battle life threatening disease, face uncertain futures, and struggle to survive.

Each moment of our lives, someone, somewhere, is in need of kindness.

What you do for others energizes the Universe. What you do for the Universe energizes you.

Go slowly. Breathe, smile and be present. Seek opportunities to make a difference, embrace the moments, and be grateful for every choice you make. Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Chad Davis

“Have respect for yourself, and patience and compassion. With these, you can handle anything.” ~Jack Kornfield

I sometimes find myself smiling for no reason—a good mood, perhaps, or maybe a thought about friends and loved ones. What I notice is that every time I contemplate my own smile, it comes back to the thought of being here, now, and feeling for those around me with understanding instead of judgment and love in place of anger.

It is in the here and now that I find happiness.

Contemplate a tree: In the blazing heat of the summer, does it cry and complain, or does it sway in the passing breeze? In the deathly cold of winter, does it shutter and wither, or does it catch the falling snow from the sky and offer us pleasing scenery?

Now ask yourself the same question: In the crests of life, do you lose your legs and sink, or do you stay afloat with the rolling tides? Oftentimes we forget that happiness is usually a choice, and it is in times of need when we need to be patient with ourselves in order to stay afloat and choose to be happy.

Last year was rough for me. I felt manipulated by a (now ex-) girlfriend for a year before finally leaving her, was hurt twice again over the summer, and as a result, became slightly jaded. I was prepared to live the next year in solitude, not caring to find romance.

I experienced something we all experience. Heartache does not discriminate against any particular person, life, or event. How then can you stay strong, positive, and happy in the face of misfortune?

What I’ve learned is quite simple:

See the world, free of implication, free of self-deception, for what it truly is.

It is easier said than done, but once you have the basic mindset in place practice will eventually bear many fruits. So follow these general guidelines to find strength when dealing with troubles:  Click Here to Read More…

Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Mara Petrovsky

“Gratitude is the memory of the heart.”  -Jean Baptiste Massieu

Several months ago I was invited by the man I was newly seeing to come to one of his meditation classes. He’d been going through an incredibly tumultuous and painful time in his personal life; he realized that his family unit, which he had always seen as perfect, was human and flawed. That seemed to break something in his spirit.

He turned to mediation as a source of re-centering himself. In addition to the deep breathing, one of the cornerstones of meditation practice is gratitude—finding at least one thing every day to be thankful for.

He had told me it was a “bring a friend day.” After entering, we saw three other pairs of people and the group leader gathered around a table.

The first pair was two women in their forties. They had been best friends since college and had remained close for over 20 years.

One of them shared how through past illness and family strife her friend had never left her side. They laughed about margarita nights until dawn and how the other always picked up the phone. Where one woman stopped, the other picked up. They were grateful for their cultivated and cared for sisterhood.

The second pair was two older men. They were neighbors and friends who had grown up together. One wanted to share his gratefulness for the other’s steadfast support through his divorce, and for always offering a welcome place for Christmas and Thanksgiving.

He spoke about the difficulties he faced in not being with his children and his appreciation for having his friend to turn to. Face to face he turned to his friend and thanked him for his family’s constant support, for without them he didn’t feel he would have made it.

The third pair was a mother and son. The mother wanted to remind her son how special and important he was, not only to her but to everyone around him. She recognized that his recent past had been marred with difficulties and let downs. She knew he felt broken and hurt; she held his hand as she thanked him for letting her be a support and nurture him. She was grateful to see her son’s smile again.

The last pair was me and the man I’d been seeing for only a couple months. He wanted to appreciate our growing trust and support in each other.

He appreciated that I showed patience in his slow approach to communication and that I encouraged him. He’d had a different experience growing up than I did—my family said everything on their mind the moment they felt it—so it meant the world to me that he wanted to communicate with me, and he acknowledged his gratitude in this way.

The man who was going through so much in his own life took the time to reach out and show me thanks, simply for caring. I was blown away by the unexpected validation.

I’d recently dealt with a series of blows that had left me feeling weak: the passing of a friend, numerous graduate school rejections, and building anxiety towards next life steps. His taking the time to share his gratitude with me pulled me up and opened my eyes. Click Here to Read More…