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Category “letting go”

Grieving a Loss That Feels Like a Death

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“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” ~Vicki Harrison

Most grief books are written to help you mourn the death of a loved one and learn how to deal with their absence in this world.

Death is probably the most challenging thing a human can face. It breaks us down. It brings us to our knees. Some people are so significant in our lives that the mere thought of living without them feels incredibly overwhelming and incapacitating.…

Life Goes on After Loss: Tiny Steps To Work Through Grief

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“I realized, it is not the time that heals, but what we do within that time that creates positive change.” ~Diane Dettman

Two weeks ago I found out that a friend passed away. He died eight days after my birthday at the age of twenty-six, and that fact has been hard to swallow, as I didn’t know that my time of celebration would also be a time of grief.

The details surrounding my friend’s death are unknown; all I know is that it happened suddenly, and it was a huge shock to me and other friends that knew him. …

Dealing with Toxic Relationships and Finding Emotional Freedom

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“We would do ourselves a tremendous favor by letting go of the people who poison our spirit.” ~Unknown

My husband and I both have living grandparents. My daughter has met the grandparents on my husband’s side, but she hasn’t met mine. Some think I’m cruel for not taking her to meet my grandmother because I had an excellent relationship with my great grandparents.

Some ask why I haven’t contacted her in the two years since my only child was born. I could give a long drawn-out response and try to explain why I gave up on a relationship with my …

Losing Your Job Doesn’t Have to Mean Losing Yourself

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“I believe one of the greatest achievements in life is the choice to be empowered, not paralyzed, by a disappointment.” ~Lori Deschene

I was recently fired from my dream job, and this was devastating to me.

Anyone who has ever lost their livelihood should be able to relate to this experience. Vulnerability, shock, confusion, and anger dominated my feelings in the aftermath of suddenly losing a job that I loved.

What happened? My company created a fantastic referral program, and I saw a business opportunity to take advantage of it.

I reached out to multiple senior members of …

5 Valid Reasons to Be a Quitter

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“You have to learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served.” ~Nina Simone

In my short life, I have left many jobs or situations. Some might call this “quitting.” Why has quitting gotten a bad rap?

Spiritual teachers and wise people often advise letting go of situations that are no longer right for you. It doesn’t seem like we’ve gotten this message. I don’t think quitting is such a bad word.

I quit my job just recently. And I feel great. Other things that I have chosen to leave: multiple jobs, a few …

5 Reasons We All Deserve Forgiveness

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“To forgive is somehow associated with saying that it is all right, that we accept the evil deed. But this is not forgiveness. Forgiveness means that you fill yourself with love and you radiate that love outward and refuse to hang onto the venom or hatred that was engendered by the behaviors that caused the wounds.” ~Wayne Dyer

When we have been deeply hurt or betrayed by a friend, loved one, or even an acquaintance, it can be incredibly difficult to let it go and forgive them. Some acts seem almost unforgivable, but really not much is.

My belief …

How to Stop Pushing and Stressing About Your Goals

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“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” ~Steve Maraboli

I’ve encountered many people who live by the belief that in order to be successful, one must “go out and make things happen.” I used to feel the same until I realized that we don’t actually have control over most aspects of our lives.

We can attempt to make things happen, but doing so doesn’t guarantee anything—it only develops yearning, which leads to suffering.

Take my recent job search, for example. I spent nine months looking for a job. I applied …

How Non-Attachment Can Benefit Your Relationship

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“You only lose what you cling to.” ~Buddha

I remember one of my first mindfulness classes that pertained to impermanence. I went home in a bit of a slump.

Nothing is permanent; everything ends; “This too shall pass.” It was quite a shock to the system.

After getting over what, on a surface level, seemed to be incredibly dire, I realized that this could be incredibly liberating.

Enter the principle of non-attachment, a notion that has the potential to aid in the evolving nature of day-to-day life.

Rather than clinging to things—relationships, jobs, material goods—hoping that they will last forever, …

How to Stop Taking on Other People’s Fears and Live Freely

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“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” ~Pema Chodron

You wake up in the morning, it is sunny outside, and you are grateful for this brand new day. You are enthusiastic to get it started. You take a deep breath and go outside; then you see some gum in your street.

Will you pick it up and stick it to your T-shirt, or maybe even have a little taste of it? Of course not!

Please excuse the gross opening, but bear with me for a second.

So many of us have done something just like that, …

Limited Edition Tiny Buddha “Just Breathe” Shirt (Supporting the David Lynch Foundation)

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*Update: This campaign has ended. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for daily or weekly emails, and to learn about future shirt campaigns!”

Hi friends! For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Lori, the founder of Tiny Buddha.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been offering a limited edition “Just Breathe” shirt, and I’ve been excited to see the response from the community! The campaign ends this Sunday, so if you’d like to grab a shirt, this is your last opportunity to do so.

A portion of the proceeds will go to the David Lynch Foundation, a nonprofit that …

Drop the Mask: How to Slowly Lower Your Guard and Change Your Life

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“The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers.” ~Deepak Chopra

The root of my inability to be open stems from my childhood. (I guess much of who we are comes from childhood, right?)

I remember around the time I was eight years old going to a party at my aunt’s house. Even though I don’t remember the details of the party, I do remember what happened after.

We got home that night and my dad asked me, ”Don’t you think you should be a little more reserved or have a little mystery to you?”

I …

Why We Don’t Need to Be Like Anybody Else

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“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen

When I first committed to becoming more spiritual, I decided that I wanted to be ‘perfect.’ I avoided red meat, cheese, alcohol, and sugar (and anything else that was considered “low vibration”), and ate organic food.

I never complained or uttered a negative word about anything or anyone. I meditated three to four times a day, when I woke up, in the afternoon, and at night before I went to sleep.

You’d never see an emotion …

5 Ways to Deal With Envy So It Doesn’t Steal Your Happiness

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“Happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to other people.” ~Unknown

Throughout this year I’ve noticed myself feeling envious of other people. Particularly, I would feel envious of the famous people that I would see on television, read about in magazines, and follow on social media.

I wouldn’t even be envious of them for the things one might expect. It wasn’t because they were famous or wealthy. It wasn’t because they had millions of followers on social media. And it wasn’t because they were good looking.

Still, I would find myself feeling envious of an actress if she had …

Learn To Flourish When You Are Not In Control

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“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” ~Steve Maraboli

On December 31, 2011 I experienced something I will never be able to blink away. I watched as my twelve-year-old daughter convulsed, turned blue, and stopped breathing on the floor of our living room.

Time stood still. I heard my blood whoosh through my ears. I became a helpless observer. This simply couldn’t be happening to us; she was fine only a moment ago.

I remember the exact moment when I …

Stop Looking for Signs and Trust Yourself

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“Always try to remember that most of the things that happen in this world aren’t signs. They happen because they happen, and their only real significance lies in normal cause and effect. You’ll drive yourself crazy if you start trying to pry the meaning out of every gust of wind or rainsquall. I’m not denying that there might actually be a few signs that you won’t want to miss. Knowing the difference is the tricky part.” ~David Eddings

A few years ago I took the Buddhist precepts at a Zen monastery in northern California. At the end of the ceremony …

The Pain Won’t Stop Until You Accept What Is

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“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.” ~Sonia Ricotti

Life is sometimes ridiculously hard. It sucks. It rips out your heart and your entrails, spins them around the room, and stuffs them back in unceremoniously through the hole from which they were ripped.

And it expects you to smile and carry on. People expect you to carry on. Because that is what we think people do.

I felt like this a few years ago when my marriage ended. Luckily, I had good people around me. They didn’t expect that from me.

I, …

How to Stop Letting Other People’s Opinions Guide Your Life

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“What other people think of me is none of my business.” ~Wayne Dyer

Do you feel it too?

That discomfort rising inside when someone imparts their clever wit on you. Not just any kind of wisdom, but the one that makes you feel small, in a here-you-go, punch-to-the-stomach kind of way.

A covert little criticism implying that you might not be doing something right or may have the wrong ideas.

Your first reaction is disbelief. Followed by denial. How can they be so rude to come out with such a comment? Why can’t they be more tactful or careful with …

How We Create Problems for Ourselves (And How to Stop)

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“If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” ~Ram Dass

I just returned from a four-day trip with my family. It was my own family of four (my husband and two kids), plus my mom, my two sisters, and my brother-in-law.

It was great. We get along well and have fun together.

And, it was four days with family.

It’s a funny thing…although you grow up with your siblings, listening to and being influenced by your parents, you all end up so unique—different from each other and different from the adults who raised you.…

It’s Not All About Money: 5 Ways to Redefine Success

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“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” ~Maya Angelou

When I was thirty I was earning double the salary I am today. I was also stressed, depressed, sick, tired, and hated my job.

Most media portals want us to believe that in order to be successful we must own a large property, have vacations in exotic destinations, drive a flashy car, and be designer-dressed from head to toe. And that’s just for starters.

We are bombarded with these falsehoods from an early age and we set out on a mission to acquire the …

How to Transform Self-Criticism into Self-Appreciation

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“Stop hating yourself for everything you aren’t. Start loving yourself for everything that you are.” ~Unknown

They stop you dead in your tracks.

Critical thoughts.

Like tiny knives, they slash at your happiness.

In public, you feign confidence. You can easily squish down your critical thoughts. You push yourself to smile, laugh, and even be the life of the party.

But when the dust settles, and you are all alone, the thoughts start, first as a trickle: “I shouldn’t have said that. Why couldn’t I say smarter things?” And then they start to crash harder and stronger with, “I am …