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Well, clearly he’s a player. He’s got all these sex buddies and/or girls in love with him. He wants to know that you are in love with him, that’s why he teased you with the song apparently about you being in love with him!
1. The Song ~ Parry back, “But they’re talking about a girl not a guy” 😉
2. You might have to wait until he’s grown up and shed all these other girls.
3. You can’t really change this, just don’t wear your heart on your sleeve. If/when he teases you about it, just say, “Frankly all these other girls around you is a turn off, so I don’t know how I’d feel about you.”
4. Don’t be shy about dating other guys. Don’t flaunt them in his face, but don’t hide them either.
P.S. OMG, FaceBook drama!! If he won’t add you as a Friend he is totally hiding you OR all of them! Withdraw the Friend Request, he’s doing you a favor, actually, because FB drama will just add to your stress level. Imagine ten girls competing over who can come up with the most recent, exclusive, inner joke Wall Post about fun trips/events/parties no one else knew he was going on. 😛
Hi Again!
Please disregard if you’ve already done these. If you haven’t, do them immediately and I’m sure you’ll see a difference.
1. Talk to someone who specializes in Pain Management. Call you local hospital, go online, they are out there.
2. Go on a Paleo/Raw Food diet. Whenever I feel achy or sicky (I’m NOT comparing my issues to the hell you’ve gone through!!) I eat Paleo or do juicing for a few days/weeks/months and reset.
3. Set yourself up to have a lot of “Wins”. Get a sticker book and give yourself a sticker like a kid for any minuscule thing you do. Returning a phone call = a win. Putting a load of laundery in = a win. But it has to be miniscule!
4. Pick a series on Netflix and watch all of it in one sitting/s. Get so immersed in the characters you forget yourself.
5. A lot of churches have lay ministers. Ask for Stephen Ministers. They meet up with you every week just to talk. They are trained. Or get yourself on a Prayer List! It is amazing how situations transform when everyone is praying!
Hi Kristen,
Food is awesome and should be celebrated! Also, to “binge eat” was called “feasting” in the old days. It was allowed because of general food scarcity and a shorter life span. In the dawn of time for humanity, if you somehow procured food on the savannah, you had better eat all of it before any other predator/scavenger did!
Make the corner store and eating with your boyfriend into weekly events. So my weaknesses are the deli, take out and D&D/Starbucks. I go to each place once a week. That’s it! I have any “fix” of Coke/Frapp/pizza/Chinese/chicken cutlet smothered in too much mayo/BLT/drink of seasonal badness/etc. knowing that whatever else I crave is waiting for me next week. That there will be Coke later. That I can scarf on garlic bread later.
Turn your two “sins” into once a week events. Space them out so you don’t go crazy, like going out weekends, store Wednesday. But maybe buy only one junky thing at the store!!
And enjoy!
Well, you don’t know how it will be until you get there. You might see her and notice she’s changed. Or you may notice that your feelings aren’t as charged as you think they’ll be. The good news is it’s laser tag and you will be too busy running around to dwell much at all!
For events in general where you’ll run into her, if possible, arrive an hour late and leave an hour early. Make brief eye contact, smile and wave. Then turn to the other people around you and concentrate on them. Use Body Blocking where you have your back turned to her. If she moves to the part of the room where you are (and she will!) casually move to the other end. Pretend your are magnets that make you go the opposite of where she is. Look at other people and other things. If she asks if you’re avoiding her say, “Not at all!” After all, you did the eye contact, smile and wave. If she corners you for small talk, talk for five minutes, keeping the conversation light and fun, then excuse yourself to go to the restroom.
And bring a girl who’s a friend with you. Let her know the deal, she will keep you company and help with the small talk and escape! And might keep the old love interest wondering, or even second guess her original opinion/decision about you!
So that is how you survive an event where an old love will be at!
Matt gave some good advice!
Also, There’s the hurt (that you won’t admit in front of her) and then there’s the hurt from her thinking you can’t handle the truth (which is shame, but you experience the emotion as anger). In her defense, as a woman, I wouldn’t want my ex to know about any new boyfriends ~ I’d love them enough not to want them to experience hurt. On the flip side, some women won’t do this and then the two guys get jealous. Because her keeping him a secret means that she really likes this guy AND really cares for your feelings ~ it’s over, or she would (subconsciously) triangulate you (by not saying anything to the kids).
Clearly, she is “wrong” for choosing a new boyfriend right off the bat. I agree with you there. But, that’s just our opinion, and it’s a free country. There is nothing written down by God about a set mourning period after the end of a relationship.
You could also tell the kids not to tell mommy about daddy’s new girlfriend one day because she can’t handle it. But kids (and most people) instinctively know the truth, who the weak ones are, what the deal is. So don’t worry about looking “weak” in front of the children.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 