Hi Jennifer,

People could say this is horrible advice, and you may not go for it ethics wise, but…

What if you happened to date a wealthy-ish person who likes to travel? Or a slightly older, semi-retired one?

Or became a paid traveling companion of a very cool, very hip old lady? Or ask your friends if they have any friends/family with a house in France or wherever you’re going LOL? (You’d be surprised!)

You are clearly not a gold digger, you just want to travel and not have to worry about money.  I’m sorry, but it IS expensive to travel!

I’m sure you’ve looked into Air BnB, time shares, etc. Go on one trip a year. Significant travel.. split it up. No need to spend more than three weeks anywhere IMO.

Good Luck!

Inky

• This reply was modified 7 years, 10 months ago by Inky.

Hi Again Kashi,

Even if he came from another royal family or if you were born a regular person, this kind of stuff does happen. It just stings more when there is such a class difference. You were doing him a HUGE favor marrying him. I do believe “Rich people should marry rich people”. They understand each other better. When you married him (and you did NOT have to!) that was your CHOICE! You did NOT need him, you wanted him! You CHOSE him!

Now, here’s the flip side: Men don’t like when they feel like you don’t need them. Of course, that makes them want you more, but that’s another post. So him cavorting (innocently or not) with these girls is HIS way (subconsciously or consciously) of becoming equal. SOMEONE might need him, admire him. It could also be deep rooted anger. “Who does she think she is, a Princess? Oh, right, she is one. (Somehow I am still so angry!)”

I know of a regular guy (real geeky, but very charming) who married a literal princess. It didn’t work out. But then, sometimes it wouldn’t anyway.

We DON’T know what REALLY happened. Maybe nothing. That’s the torment though. Perhaps take a break??

• This reply was modified 7 years, 10 months ago by Inky.

Hi Mirabelle,

Did you know that there are Buddhist Christian, Buddhist Jews and dare I say Buddhist Muslims? Buddhism is a way of life as well as a way of thinking. And is one of the few religions that lets you practice others as well. Yes, as long as you live in your parents house you are Muslim. You have no choice, really. But when you have your own place and as the world becomes more and more secular and free thinking you can express yourself more fully!

Peace,

Inky

Hi Maddie,

Junior year is the worst! Everyone’s asking you where you want to go to school, the grade pressure, the testing, the “This is it?” feeling… it’s a wonder you are stressing about friendships! Maybe you are using your emotional angst as a distraction.

I would reconnect with the few original friends. And maybe drop the image. Once you do that, people will fall, but take notice of the ones who remain.

The good news about college in a couple years is everyone will be in the same boat, and people thrive on and crave uniqueness and originality. It will be so much easier to be yourself!

Blessings,

Inky

Hi Phoenix76,

I don’t know how much you make or how many relatives you have, but consider the possibilities. Obviously you can see yourself leaving if it was just you. Can you see yourself leaving and living with a sister/parent/cousin/etc. if it was just you and the youngest once the others are adults? Can you see yourself living on your own if you only had two teenagers living with you? The worst case scenario is living like this for seven more years until the baby is grown.

In the meantime use practices to tune him out: Earplugs, pretending he is an alien spouting “blah, blah, blah” in a language you can’t understand, staying with your kids at friends’ houses, trips, have fabulous adventures of your own! And, yes, perhaps a romance or two of your own. That is another way to land on your feet and he knows it!

Blessings to you, Lady Phoenix!

Inky

Hi BJ West,

You don’t have to be challenged and succeed in just the professional arena. I know you claim to have no interests, but what do you do in your free time? Even if it’s just, say, watching TV, you could for example write reviews. Or join a local sports team. Or volunteer as a Scout master. Read the NYT every day. Get a learning program you can watch. Get an online degree.

Then you later might gain more confidence.

And take it from me, a funny thing happens after 40. Suddenly you aren’t a kid anymore and people will start looking to YOU for advice, wisdom and guidance.

Best,

Inky

Dear Tessa,

You are (perhaps instinctively) trying to hold your whole family together. What I would do is piecemeal. I would make it your mission to help your father. If you are to give time, $$$ and resources, help him. He’s the one with a lung issue that won’t get better. My FIL had emphysema, and you’ll (eventually) need to get a nurse and helper (to clean and run errands) in there (as your mother may not have the capacity).

Yes, I’m also essentially telling you to let your mother and sisters “hang themselves”. Because you can only handle one wounded bird at a time.

Later, when your father passes, THEN perhaps help the sister with the auto-immune disease.

The other sister and your mother? If they are adults they can legally make their own decisions. My mother occasionally checks up on her cousin who has a mental illness but there is nothing she can do. My mom is at peace with that, and follows her intention to help out/check up only occasionally. AND IS AT PEACE WITH THAT. Profound peace perhaps, but there is wisdom in that approach.

Blessings,

Inky

Edit: “Nothing will make him contact you more”… I also mean that in a mystical sense. The Universe abhors a vacuum. I Unfriended someone once who I hadn’t talked to or interacted with in years and years. The NEXT DAY I run into the person who went to the same event I was at… staring meaningfully at me. Awkward!