Choose to Be Kind
How Lowering Our Expectations Helps Us Do What We Really Want to Do
“Human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” ~William James
Despite being the sort of person who’s constantly generating self-improvement to-do lists, I’ve never been big into making New Year’s resolutions. If I make any at all, they usually occur as an afterthought, frequently after the fact, and without much in the way of any real resolution.
However, this January I suddenly decided my resolution for 2019 should be to lower my expectations.
My whole life I’ve been an overachieving, Type A perfectionist. The sort of person who obsessively stresses about getting work in on time, …
Love Them Today, Before Their Tomorrow’s Taken Away
“Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.” ~Michelle C. Ustaszeski
Last year, my grandfather passed away.
He had gone to the hospital many times before. Sometimes he went for a minor sickness, sometimes for a severe condition. Unfortunately, the last time he went, we found out that he didn’t have much time left. He was diagnosed with last stage bladder cancer.
It was a shock to our family. My grandfather had always been a survivor. He’d survived the war, the darkest moment of the country. We couldn’t imagine he would lose his life …
It’s Not All Love and Light: Why We Can’t Ignore the Dark and Just “Be Positive”
“The dark night of the soul comes just before revelation.” ~Joseph Campbell
If you frequent Instagram or any other social media platform these days, you may notice countless posts about positivity, self-help, yoga, and green juice. And gluten-free everything.
Most of us equate these messages with spirituality and good vibes. I won’t disagree. These messages do promote good vibes. But, the problem is these posts don’t tell the whole story, and once we log off, many of us still feel incomplete, fearful, and insecure because all of these “influencers” and gurus seem to have it all figured out.
I’m …
9 Lessons from my 9-Month-Old Nephew, Who’s Taught Me How to Live
“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.” ~William Arthur Ward
Oliver.
Ahh, my heart skips a beat at just the sound of his name.
In 2018, a tiny human being arrived on the planet, one who would change my life. In the short nine months my nephew Oliver has been in my life, I’ve learned a lot. I’m not talking about changing nappies and bottle-feeding, although I’m getting to grips with these essentials too. No, Oliver has taught me valuable lessons about life itself. Here are nine of the biggest.
1.
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The Invisible Effects of Social Media: When It’s Time to Stop Scrolling
“What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” ~Unknown
Is there a more precious commodity than time? It’s the currency of life; the most basic finite resource, and we have a responsibility to spend it wisely. It’s up to us each individually to figure out what that means to us. For me, that means being mindful of the people, activities, and thoughts to which I give my time and energy.
I am an obsessive reader, and at any one time I have at least fifteen books checked out of the …
The Beauty of Doing Nothing: Why I’ve Embraced Being Unproductive
“Every good cause is worth some inefficiency.” ~Paul Samuelson
I made a mess yesterday. The mess is still there. Who knows when the mess will disappear.
The mess provided me with one of those sense-pleasing plates of food that lingers in the mind long after the last bite. The kind that makes you wonder if there is a rhyme and reason to our world after all. A plate of food so delectable it provided a raison for my être. (If only for a little while.)
But this story is not about the art of nourishing oneself. It is about …
How to Avoid Petty Fights and Get What You Need in Your Relationship
“It’s never overreacting to ask for what you want and need.” ~Amy Poehler
It was yet another stupid argument that escalated from nothing to a hundred miles an hour in seconds. I’d been there so many times before, entrenched in warfare with us both preparing our defenses and priming our attacks.
The intense emotions of the moment always took over, denying me the opportunity that hindsight would later afford me. Huge issues were, upon reflection, only minor disagreements about who had said what about the cooking, or where something had been left in the bathroom.
On this occasion, once …
We Keep Going, One Tiny Step at a Time, and We Should Be Proud
“Don’t wait until you reach your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of every step you take.” ~Karen Salmansohn
One of the greatest ironies of being human is that we’re often hardest on ourselves right when we should be most proud.
Let’s say you finally find the courage to start a dream project you’ve fantasized about for as long as you can remember. You push through years of built-up fears, overcome massive internal resistance, and take the leap despite feeling like you’re jumping through a ring of fire, above a pit filled with burning acid.
It’s one of …
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