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Search Results for "trust " — 1316 posts

8 Ways You Can Help Fight the Loneliness Epidemic

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“The antidote to loneliness isn’t just being around random people indiscriminately, the antidote to loneliness is emotional security.” ~Benedict Wells

Emotional security. The feeling of being at home in the presence of another. Safe to be who you are, good times or bad. Feeling seen and seeing the other clearly, accepting the other’s whole lovely mess. It’s good stuff, and it can be hard to find.

In fact, ever-increasing loneliness stats have led many experts to describe the problem as epidemic. You might assume it was caused by the pandemic, but it was a crisis long before lockdowns and …

Confronting Your Truth: The Life-Changing Benefits of Asking “Why?”

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“The most important conversations you’ll ever have are the ones you’ll have with yourself.” ~David Goggins

Today I’m going to ask a question that will unlock a better life for you.

You’re probably expecting something profound.

You’re probably expecting something that will shake you to your core.

You’re probably expecting something that you’ve never heard before.

Don’t get me wrong, it can and will dramatically change your life, but you’ve definitely heard it before. Especially if you’ve been around a three-year-old.

And did I mention it’s only one word?

It’s the simple question of “Why?”

It’s scary to ask …

We Are Both Darkness and Light: How to Reconcile Them and Grow

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“We have to bear our own toxicity. Only by facing our own shadows can we eventually become more light. Yes, you are kind. But you’re also cruel. You are thoughtful. But you’re also selfish. You are both light and shadow. I want authenticity. I want real. I claim both my light and my shadow.” ~Kerry Mangis

Many of us can recall the painful moments that have shaped us. As we grow older, we become intimately aware of all the ways we were hurt, wronged, or betrayed. I think it’s a natural impulse, to number these moments …

Workaholics: Why Staying Busy Feels Safe and How It Takes a Toll

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“The ego desperately wants safety. The soul wants to live. The truth is, we cannot lead a real life without risk. We do not develop depth without pain.” ~Carol S. Pearson

Workaholism is the body’s wisdom in action, literally.

Some people develop workaholic tendencies because they crave to be seen as the best through their accomplishments.

But I’m not here to talk about people who’re obsessed over their image.

The particular strain of “workaholism” that isn’t talked about enough is a perfectionist’s addiction to productivity.

It has little to do with being recognized for your brilliance or achievements in the …

Two Things Not to Do After a Traumatic Event (Lessons from Being Robbed)

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“True emotional healing happens by feeling. The only way out is through.” ~Jessica Moore

Have you ever loved someone so much that you could no longer see who they really were? Or have you ever been young and naive to the danger that surrounds you?

I’m the first to raise my hand and say I did that! I’m a person who trusts people until they give me a reason not to.

Trust

Trust can be broken in so many ways by those you least expect it from; those you love and thought loved you. In some cases, it may not …

How to Let People in So You Can Feel Seen, Heard, and Supported

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“We are hard-wired to connect with others, it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.” ~Brené Brown

In relationships, I have always felt more comfortable being on the sidelines rather than center stage. I liked playing the supporting role to many people’s leading roles. I am good at it; it’s the career I chose for myself as a life coach. However, personally, constantly staying in the role of supporter created resentment.

I felt unseen and unheard, and many of my relationships began to feel one-sided—with me listening and holding space for them and …

Abandonment Wounds: How to Heal Them and Feel More at Ease in Relationships

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“I always wondered why it was so easy for people to leave. What I should have questioned was why I wanted so badly for them to stay.” ~Samantha King

Do you feel afraid to speak your truth or ask for what you want?

Do you tend to neglect your needs and people-please?

Do you have a hard time being alone?

Have you ever felt panic and/or anxiety when someone significant to you left your life or you felt like they were going to?

If so, please don’t blame yourself for being this way. Most likely it’s coming from an …

Nothing You Do Will Be Enough If the Relationship Isn’t Right

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“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than hurt yourself trying to put them back together.” ~Unknown

A couple of months ago my dear friend and I were chatting over coffee.

The subject turned into past relationships and the reasons why they didn’t work. My friend shared a story about her ex-fiancé—one of those “this clearly isn’t going to work, but I sure will try my hardest since I don’t give up” ones. Yeah, that kind.

It’s the kind of story that, telling it now, with hindsight and time on our sides, seems absurd. It’s the …

How Restrictive Diets Mess with Our Brains and Lead to Bingeing

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“Your body is precious. It is your vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” ~Buddha

When I went on my first diet in my teens (low-carb, it was back in the Atkins days), I wasn’t even overweight. I weighed less than 120 pounds, but my jeans had started to get a little tight, so I thought I needed to lose five pounds or so. At the time, I didn’t have a bad relationship with food; I just ate like a typical teenager—not the best choices.

About two hours in, I remember starting to obsess over the things I couldn’t eat …

How I Learned the Power of Letting Go After My Father Developed Dementia

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“There is beauty in everything, even in silence and darkness.” ~Helen Keller

When I was eleven years old, I would force myself to stay awake until the wee hours of the morning.

I was severely anorexic at a time when eating disorders were considered an “inconvenience” you brought on yourself. Anorexia was dismissed as a rich, white girl’s disease (although we were certainly not rich)—a disease that was easily curable with a prescription for a chocolate cake.

Although my emaciated body was a dead giveaway of my condition, it was school that noticed the change in me first. My once …

The Power of Waiting When You Don’t Know What to Do

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“Waiting is not mere empty hoping. It has the inner certainty of reaching the goal.” ~I Ching 

Waiting has a bad rap in modern Western society. It’s not surprising that I had to look to an ancient Chinese text (the I Ching) in order to find a suitable quote to begin this article. We don’t like to wait! It’s far easier to find quotes on the Internet about “seizing the day” and making something happen.

I’ve been an impatient person for much of my life. I wanted things to happen to me! I had a definite agenda in my …

7 Lessons from My Father That Have Made Me a Better, Happier Person

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“A father is neither an anchor to hold us back, nor a sail to take us there, but a guiding light whose love shows us the way.” ~Unknown

I couldn’t understand his grateful mindset, especially given his obvious rapid decline. My dad was dying. None of us could reconcile a life without our mentor, hero, spouse, brother, uncle, friend, and champion of cheesy dinner table games.

But it was coming, and we all knew it. Still, he’d tell us he’s “counting his blessings, not his struggles.” This from a man with a failing liver and ammonia on his brain.…

How Sensitive People Can Stop Taking Things So Personally in Their Relationships

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“The truth is that the way other people see us isn’t about us—it’s about them and their own struggles, insecurities, and limitations. You don’t have to allow their judgment to become your truth.” ~Daniell Koepke

As a child growing up with a highly sensitive mom, I often noticed her go quiet at the dinner table after my stepfather would make some little comment. Looking back, I know he was just tired and a bit grouchy from a long day at work, but my mom felt hurt by his words.

Over the years, the comments didn’t lessen, but I noticed …

The Art of Nurturing Self-Talk: How to Tell Yourself What You Need to Hear

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“You will never speak to anyone more than you speak to yourself in your head. Be kind to yourself.” ~Unknown

Talking to ourselves in a nurturing way can be a challenge if we rarely heard nurturing words in the early formative years of our lives. In fact, if we were often criticized or neglected, we probably learned to criticize and neglect ourselves instead.

When I was growing up, my mom was a dedicated wife and mother, but she suffered from deep depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. She didn’t know how to be encouraging or nurturing because she was never …

Unbecoming the Old Me: How I’m Finally Discovering That Life Can Be Fun

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“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.” ~Albert Einstein

I woke up one morning and realized that I had no idea who I was. I realized that over the past thirty-something years I had been everyone but myself.

I was like a chameleon molding into the people that surrounded me. Not wanting to make noise or cause disturbance to others or trigger my own inner wounds.

My goal was being whoever I thought the person around me wanted me to be. To be accepted, loved, and liked by others. I realize …

How to Make Things Better When It Seems Like Everything Is Going Wrong

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“You can never be happy if you’re trapped in the past and fearful of the future. Living in the present is the only way to be happy.” ~Unknown

Have you found that the local and world events of the last couple of years have taken their toll on you and your family and friends? With fires, floods, shortages of food, fuel, and medicine, illnesses, job losses, and more, all occurring in a short space of time, it can be hard to find anyone who has not been affected in some way.

Many people are experiencing feelings of hopelessness and living …

All the Wrong Reasons I Slept with Men Before and Why I’m Changing Now

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“We think we want sex, but it’s not always about sex. It’s intimacy we want. To be touched. Looked at. Admired. Smiled at. Laugh with someone. Feel safe. Feel like someone’s really got you. That’s what we crave.” ~Anonymous

I have not had sex in years. I was meditating one day, and my mind was silent (an extremely rare event), then I heard “Do not have sex until you are married.” Something I heard often growing up as a southern Baptist.

I started breathing fast, and my thoughts immediately started racing. I am pretty sure I cried, if not in …

How I Got Healthy & Overcame My Food/Body Issues by Ignoring Conventional Advice

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I was an award-winning personal trainer and nutrition and wellness coach for over eight years.

I also spent close to three decades struggling with my own weight and food issues—trying to “stick to” diets and/or healthy eating and lifestyle goals. And many years struggling with binge eating, bulimia, and (what I thought at the time was) an uncontrollable sugar addiction.

During the years I was working in the fitness and nutrition industry, whenever I’d get new clients, I’d find out what their health and fitness goals were, and I’d give them the perfect plan to help them get there.

And …

A Powerful Practice for Self-Awareness: How to Avoid Doing Things You’ll Regret

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Self-awareness is arguably the holy grail of inner peace, especially when you’re under pressure. But what is it? How do you achieve it?

As a teacher of self-awareness, I’ll be the first to admit that it does not always come easy. Given our human instinct to resist whatever challenges us to grow and change, the journey to self-awareness often involves a struggle. I know mine sometimes does.

To be more self-aware, I’ve had to cultivate a willingness to admit I don’t have it all figured out and that I might not always be right, especially when I feel really strongly …

How to Let Go of Your Need to Be Informed at all Times

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“Don’t mistake being informed by trusting what you hear or read in the news. The most trusted information is what you feel in your gut.” ~Charles F Glassman

I was in my kitchen enjoying breakfast when a report about a murder was mentioned as one of the headlines on the radio news.

One of my boys started to ask me questions, none of which I could answer. They were questions about a detail of the murder, which I didn’t know, and also about bigger life issues, which at 7 a.m., I was struggling to get my head around.

I chose …