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Posts tagged with “advice”

How I Got Healthy & Overcame My Food/Body Issues by Ignoring Conventional Advice

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I was an award-winning personal trainer and nutrition and wellness coach for over eight years.

I also spent close to three decades struggling with my own weight and food issues—trying to “stick to” diets and/or healthy eating and lifestyle goals. And many years struggling with binge eating, bulimia, and (what I thought at the time was) an uncontrollable sugar addiction.

During the years I was working in the fitness and nutrition industry, whenever I’d get new clients, I’d find out what their health and fitness goals were, and I’d give them the perfect plan to help them get there.

And …

How My Dad’s Advice to Let Someone Else Shine Created My Fear of Success

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“Sometimes what you’re most afraid of doing is the very thing that will set you free.” ~Robert Tew

Everyone has fears. It is not an emotion that is only for a chosen few. One’s fear may seem irrational to the outside world, but I guarantee to that person it is debilitating. So much so, that it shapes their perspective and how they see the world. My fear is of success.

I know what you’re thinking. “That doesn’t make sense at all. Who doesn’t want to be successful?” Well, let me explain what I mean.

You see, I am an …

Please Don’t Fix Me: What True Empathy Is (And Isn’t)

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“No one mentioned until I was in late middle age that—horribly!—my good, helpful ideas for other grown-ups were not helpful. That my help was in fact sometimes toxic. That people needed to defend themselves from my passionate belief that I had good ideas for other people’s lives. I did not know that help is the sunny side of control.”  ~Anne Lamott

I’m a well-meaning empath.

If you share your problems with me, I’ll quickly make them my own. I’ll listen intently, feel deeply, and want to help. I’ll give you advice and solutions you didn’t ask for, then be annoyed …

Why “Find Your Purpose” is Bad Advice and What to Do Instead

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“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” ~Pablo Picasso

I was fifty-two when I found my purpose. I wasn’t even looking. It literally just smacked me upside the head. That’s a funny thing about life. It throws things your way, and you either grab them and run with them or you turn a blind eye and walk on by.

I used to turn a blind eye. I don’t anymore. These days I’m taking in all that life tosses my way. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

How

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5 Life-Changing Pieces of Advice I Would Give to My Younger Self

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“I’d go back to my younger self and say, ‘Lighten up. Take it easy. Relax. Don’t be so anxious about everything. Try not to have today stolen from you by anxiety about yesterday or tomorrow.’” ~Bill Nighy

I believe there is great power in looking back at our past to learn from our experiences, mistakes, and regrets.

The Spanish philosopher George Santayana remarked, “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.” I might add that the history we need to study the most is our personal history so that we don’t keep making the same mistakes over …

Why I Ignored Morgan Freeman’s Advice on How to Live My Best Life

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“Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” ~Roy T. Bennett

When I was a college senior, God, or the voice of God (aka Morgan Freeman) came to my campus to give a talk. At the end of the talk, I beelined toward the mic set up in the aisle of the auditorium, excited to ask my question and for him to share his wisdom with me.

“Hi, thanks so much for being with us today! As a college senior trying to figure out what to do next, I was …

No Piece of Advice Is Right for Everyone, at All Times

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“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain ability to function.” ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

Ever been inspired by a quote or an article you read on a self-improvement site like Tiny Buddha?

I mean so inspired that you instantly and wholeheartedly started to apply the advice—no questions asked.

Not only that, but in your inspiration, you started to brag about your newfound wisdom to all your friends.

You just couldn’t shut up about this new piece of wisdom!

If a friend was going through …

You Can’t Change or Fix People, So Listen Instead

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“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” ~Ernest Hemingway

The chances are good that at some point in your life you had to deal with a loved one who consistently frustrated you. They were caught in a destructive pattern of behavior that made life difficult for them and everyone around them. How do you cope when this happens?

Perhaps you start avoiding them. And when that’s not possible, you choose to check out of any difficult conversation or interaction you’re having with them. You resign yourself to the belief that your loved one cannot and will not change …

Why No One Wants Unsolicited Advice (and What Actually Helps)

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“To meet complaint with unrequested council earns for the advisor a fortune of hidden contempt.” ~Greek Proverb

When people start dumping their complaints and woeful stories on you, how do you respond?

Do you see it as your golden opportunity to be of help to them?

Do you make it your mission to put your wealth of knowledge and wisdom to good use by coaching them through their difficulties?

I mean, isn’t this a great chance to share the extent of your wisdom and understanding, and also be of help to someone in their time of need?

But the most …

Some of the Best Advice You’ll Ever Get

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Why No One Needs “Fixing” or Wants Unsolicited Advice

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“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’re lost.” ~Dalai Lama

Have you ever felt the urge to fix someone? And by fix I mean observe their circumstances and tell them what you think they’re doing wrong and exactly how you think they should fix it?

We’ve all done it. We’re all guilty.

Especially with close friends or family.

“If he would only listen to me and do what I say then everything would work out just fine!”

Sound familiar?

I was having tea with a good friend the …

People Don’t Always Need Advice

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Why We Shouldn’t Force Advice on People & What Actually Helps

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“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” ~Stephen R. Covey

This is a post about listening.

I know it’s really unsexy. It’s a topic that’s like the sun; nobody looks directly at it. But you want to create deep and lasting connections with others, and real changes for your loved ones, right?

Right. Stick with me.

Think about your typical day. How often do you listen in a conversation with others without being fully present?

Go on, be honest.

You find that you float in and out of awareness. Certain …

Why Advice Doesn’t Help When We’re Hurting (and What Does)

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“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we’re listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.” ~Karl A. Menninger

I remember my first call like it was yesterday.

I answered the phone, heart beating out of my chest, hand firm on a sheet of local emergency phone numbers.

The voice on the other end was full of… meek embarrassment.

Not exactly what I was expecting.

“Uhh, I’m really sorry… I’m not, uhh… I’m not suicidal…. I just… I just had a …

Life Advice from Beloved Kids’ Movies Characters

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Source: AAA State of Play

Words to Live By

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There Is No Expert on You

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“Believe nothing no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense.” ~Buddha

Sometimes it seems to me that we are collectively obsessed with expert advice.

In some cases, it makes sense to consult an authority.

When you’re planning for retirement, it’s smart to seek out a financial planner. When you’re starting a business, by all means, sit down with someone who’s done what you aspire to do. And when your dog gets sick, it’s probably smart to call your veterinarian instead of …

Advice from a Tree

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When Self-Help Doesn’t Help: Doing What’s Best for You

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“Your inner knowing is your only true compass.” ~Joy Page

Are you someone who devours self-help books, blogs, and articles?

Do you take pleasure in checking out the latest advice from this “expert” or that “guru”?

Are you someone who puts into play the advice proposed but are still left feeling somewhat unfulfilled afterward?

The Trouble with Self-Help

The trouble with self-help advice is that sometimes it leads us down the path of us not helping ourselves at all. Sometimes we get so caught up in someone else’s vision that we lose sight of our own.

Truth be told, what …

Trusting Yourself to Make Decisions Instead of Always Seeking Advice

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“To thine own self be true.” ~William Shakespeare

No one knows the real you but you. Sometimes it is true that we don’t know ourselves. That’s because we’ve lost ourselves, or maybe because we never knew ourselves to begin with.

I grew up a long time ago on a hill on Bentley road in Puyallup, Washington. I was a very quiet, shy, and reserved little girl. Today, I am a forty-two-year-old woman. I am still introverted, but I am learning to be more assertive.

As a co-dependent people pleaser, I grew up with a lot of self-doubt and …