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Posts tagged with “anxiety”

7 Ways to Live a Less Fearful, More Peaceful Life

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when adults are afraid of the light.” ~Adapted from Plato

I was digging in my half-empty refrigerator one day, searching for leftovers, when my phone rang. I glared at it wondering who the hell had the nerve to interrupt my hunt for sustenance.

I grabbed the phone with pure agitation and put it to my ear. On the other end of the line I heard a faint voice mutter the three most unforgettable words I had ever heard: “Dad is gone.”

The …

When Waiting Gives You Anxiety: How to Find Peace in the Present

“The time is now, the place is here. Stay in the present. You can do nothing to change the past, and the future will never come exactly as you plan or hope for.” ~Dan Millman

Nothing gives me anxiety quite like waiting for things to happen. If I don’t know how long I will be in line, stuck on a delayed NYC subway, or behind someone at the grocery store who is paying in pennies, I get very anxious. Or at least I used to.

Going to the doctor’s office was the worst. I know that no one likes …

Things Change When You Do (and Small Changes Add Up)

Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” ~Victor Hugo

A year-and-a-half ago, I was diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Every day, I felt like I was travelling through an endless tunnel. The only way I could fall asleep was by pretending that I was dying.

My life felt pointless. I felt like I was on the wrong path. The combination of my two mental illnesses made me feel like I was a prisoner in my own body, like I could not control my brain.

Since this point in time, a lot …

A 10-Step Guide to Uncovering the Wisdom in Anxious Thoughts

“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” ~Pema Chodron

Contained within your fears is genuine wisdom waiting to be discovered. Don’t underestimate this.

In order to tap into this wisdom, you must interview your fears, meeting them with curiosity and compassion. Allow them to speak their wisdom to you. Listen deeply; get into the details in order pin down exactly what they are trying to communicate. Honor whatever it is you find.

You see, these fears are like little children. They will kick and scream until you meet them with empathy. So do …

Surrendering to Things We Can’t Control or Change

“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” ~Joan Borysenko

I’ve always sped through life. I’ve always been ready to take on the next moment, that new place, make a new memory.

I’m an obsessive planner. I love control. Seriously, I love the feeling of researching and executing a plan flawlessly. It makes me feel like it’s all worth something, or it gives my life meaning. Nothing satisfies me more than being able to check that next “life goal” off the multiple checklists I create.

This idea of getting to the next place and achieving as …

Managing Anxiety: 5 Steps to Open Your Mind and Calm Your Heart

“Don’t wait for your feelings to change to take action. Take action and your feelings will change.” ~Barbara Baron

I’ve struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. From the time I was very young, I would worry about things—my life, my parents, my house, the state of the world.

I would experience a tightness in my chest and an overall sense of fear that only got worse the more I worried. The more I worried, the more afraid I became of the unseen factors that plagued me.

Anxiety is distress, caused by fear of danger or misfortune, …

How to Turn Worries About the Future Into Action Right Now

“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” ~Joan Borysenko

After years and years of living with anxiety, I can’t tell you exactly what I have been anxious about.

Is it a pervasive thought about how my life will end? Is it a constant worry about my financial security? Is it simply that I’m nervous to give a speech in front of people? Or a combination of all of them?

Even thinking about anxiety causes more anxiety. Ahhh!

Anxiety is also really hard to define. It’s so subjective.

I don’t think my anxiety will ever truly …

How Sensitivity Can Be a Gift (And How to Give it to the World)

“We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain.” ~Alan Watts

Are you good at noticing subtle details? Are you able to learn without really being aware that you are learning? Do you notice other people’s moods? Do these moods affect you?

Are you sensitive to pain? Are you equally sensitive to beauty?

If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you, like me, are a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Chances are, you are constantly trying to make sense of how being sensitive fits into a world where a certain amount of insensitivity is …

How to Beat Panic Attacks: 3 Simple Mindfulness Techniques

“By living deeply in the present moment we can understand the past better and we can prepare for a better future.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

When I was in high school, a hit-and-run car accident changed my world. My boyfriend at the time lost his nineteen-year-old brother to the accident. I had never met his brother, but it didn’t matter; a dark veil had been cast over my life.

In the days, weeks, months, and years following the accident, I sank into a deeper and deeper depression. I started to have panic attacks and I cut myself daily, trying to feel …

5 Ways to Let Go of Worries So You Can Be Light and Free

“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Our daughter is seeing a counselor to help her deal with anxiety. She’s only ten. Cue mother guilt.

There are a whole lot of (mostly crazy) worries running around her little head, some that even I can’t wrap my head around. So I wrap my arms around her and reassure her that things will be okay.

I give her permission to be anxious, but try to instill resilience so she won’t worry so much. I try to teach her mindfulness …

You Don’t Have to Let Your Anxious Thoughts Control You

“Don’t wait for your feelings to change to take the action. Take the action and your feelings will change.” ~Barbara Baron

As a child, anxious thoughts stopped me from doing a lot of stuff, so I missed out on sleepovers, parties, and scout camps some of the time.

Anxiety whispered in my ear that it was always better to avoid, and so it became easy to convince myself I didn’t really want to do whatever was on offer. I now recognize those thoughts and don’t let them influence my choices.

I remember as a teenager I went to a carvery …

How to De-Stress Dating and Stop Tying Your Worth to Relationships

“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” ~Unknown

I’m all too aware that dating can feel like a grinding, painful roller coaster to nowhere.

If you’ve hit your head against the wall as many times as I have, you know how frustrating, depressing, and downright disheartening it can be. Meeting someone new, going on a few great dates, getting excited, having one/both of you sort of stop calling; then repeating the process over and over is enough to make you want to give up for good.

The ups and downs in this cycle can make …

Dealing with Depression: 10 Ways to Feel Positive and Peaceful

“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” ~Christopher Reeve

I have suffered from depression since I was a teenager. My experiences have also caused severe post-traumatic stress disorder.

My father has been abandoning me for my whole life. As a teenager, I went to live with him because my relationship with my mother was so difficult. He sexually abused me for the year that I lived with him.

At the age of seventeen, I sought solace by turning to what I thought was God. For the next twenty-eight years I held a set of beliefs that were angry and judgmental …

How Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone Can Help Reduce Anxiety

“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.” ~Ralph Marston

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been an anxious person. My grandfather died when I was four years old and some of my earliest memories consist of panic attacks whenever I was left alone. In my mind, I had to keep my loved ones in sight at all times, so there would be no chance of them disappearing, just as my grandpa did.  

From that point on, I slowly began to overcome my fears of separation from family. However, new anxieties began to take its place. Whether …

Let It Be: Using Mindfulness to Overcome Anxiety and Depression

“Perhaps many things inside you have been transformed; perhaps somewhere, someplace deep inside your being, you have undergone important changes while you were sad.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke

When I was twelve years old, I figured out how to get out of things.

It was a rainy Saturday morning and I was supposed to be getting ready for choir practice—an eight-hour rehearsal before a big concert. Eight hours! I began to obsess about how much time this was in my then tiny life.

As though by my own will, a heavy sensation of dread and nausea arose. I wasn’t aware of …

Building Confidence to Face a Fear Instead of Hiding from It

“Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists.” ~Eckhart Tolle

I was very shy growing up, especially in lower and middle school. I moved from the US to London when I was five. Although I don’t remember a lot of my experience in lower school in London, I do know that when I first started I refused to speak or read aloud.

I was in a completely new environment. I was confused and anxious, and it made me afraid of new situations.

As the year progressed I settled in pretty well. I made friends and would not have …

The Power of Surrendering: Let Go of Control to Be Peaceful and Free

“The reality is that tomorrow is most certainly uncertain and no matter how many expectations we form, tomorrow will come, tomorrow will go, and it will be what it will be.” ~Lori Deschene

I have never known how to surrender to just about anything. Surrendering is giving up control, and this is something I have never been good at doing.

From an early age I coped with tension and negativity by trying to will things to be different. This caused me a great deal of anxiety because trying to will anything to go your way is not only exhausting, …

A Simple but Powerful Way to Kick the Worry Habit

“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.” ~Swedish proverb

I’m a worrier by nature, and I come by it honestly.

My mother was afraid to cross bridges and ride in elevators, boats, and airplanes. Her mother died of cancer at the age of forty, and my mother spent many years—including those of my childhood—thinking every sniffle, fever, or headache might be the start of something fatal.

Although I didn’t realize it at the time, growing up with a steady dose of anxiety, like an invisible intravenous drip, had its effect on my developing mind.

I was an introverted, …

The Power of Patience: Let Go of Anxiety and Let Things Happen

“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” ~William S. Burroughs

Patience can be a struggle.

I know this firsthand. My experience with impatience used to be confined to overusing the microwave or skipping to the end of a long novel.

Back then, when waiting at a traffic light for more than two minutes seemed like an eternity, I didn’t know that life would teach me several advanced lessons in patience.

Shortly after finishing my morning bike ride I started feeling queasy. I wondered what was happening, but tried to ignore the …

3 Often Overlooked Causes of Anxiety (And What to Do About Them)

“Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.” ~ Albert Einstein

An anxious mind is a hard burden to bear. In fact, if you suffer from an anxious mind it can truly feel like a curse.

The racing thoughts. The daily tirade of “what ifs.” The relentless voice of your inner critic constantly nagging you and deriding your every move.

And the worst part is that the mental chatter feels uncontrollable. Truly, there were times when I struggled in vain to quiet my mind.

It was like there was some hub or center in my …