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Posts tagged with “decisions”

When You’re Confused About What to Do: How to Find Clarity

“Nothing in the world can bother you as much as your own mind, I tell you. In fact, others seem to be bothering you, but it is not others, it is your own mind.” ~Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Do you ever feel confused about what to do and unsure about how to find clarity?

Maybe an unforeseen event, like a layoff or breakup, knocked you into a mental spin. Or perhaps you’re muddling along, with no clue where you’re going.

Confusion can leave you helpless, indecisive, and afraid. And not knowing what to do only adds to your …

3 Approaches to the Coronavirus (and Which Is Smartest)

EDITOR’S NOTE: You can find a number of helpful coronavirus resources and all related Tiny Buddha articles here.

“Don’t try to calm the storm. Calm yourself. The storm will pass.” ~Buddha

As we all now know, the coronavirus (COVID-19) has been spreading globally. It is a serious threat, less because of the raw numbers involved (as of March 22, 2020, there are less than 340,000 known infected cases with a global population of over 7 billion people), but more because the trajectory is dangerous, the spread is exponential, and the growth occurs very quickly.

The virus contained would not …

You Have to Go with Your Heart and Move Forward

Why I Chose Authenticity Over Fitting In or Standing Out

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.” ~EE Cummings

For many years I felt like a fish out of water, but I desperately wanted to belong in the pond. I grew up wanting to be ‘normal,’ to fit in and be like everyone else. As a result, I was not in touch with who I was because I didn’t think there was another choice.

The blueprint was clear: find a …

You Aren’t Stuck in Life: Commit to Change and Get Started

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” ~Mark Twain

We all have big dreams, big goals, and big ideas on what we think our life should look like, or how we think life will end up.

Some of us meticulously plan out our lives, envisioning and letting ourselves daydream as we think about all the stuff we’d love to accomplish. I’d wager that our plans include some pretty big things in life that would make us feel pretty proud.

The problem is, a lot of us have trouble reaching the potential we’ve set for ourselves. Time kind of …

How to Connect with Yourself in a World Designed to Distract You

“The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.” ~Plutarch

We live in an age of information overload. Our televisions and the Internet are flooding our senses with a myriad of things.

Researchers carefully craft all the advertisements we watch and all the magazines we read to prime us to think certain thoughts and take certain actions. A particular color, a special tone in the voice, a slight gesture with the eyes—all are designed to do one thing and one thing alone: influence our minds.

They affect us just enough that the subsequent thoughts …

Why We Feel the Need to Explain Ourselves and Justify Our Choices

“You are responsible for your intention, not your reception.” ~Amy E. Smith

I’ve realized that I put a lot of energy into trying to explain my decisions. Sometimes those explanations are an honest attempt to connect with another person or to step a little further out of hiding. Often, they are a result of my own self-doubt and desire for people to like me.

For example, I feel an obligation to say yes to any invitation or request I receive. Sometimes I’m glad to agree, other times I’d prefer to do something else. It gets tricky when the thing …

One of the Most Courageous Decisions You’ll Ever Make

Do What Excites You: How to Push Through Fear & Make Bold Choices

“You’ve got to do things that feel unnatural if you want to grow.” ~Jon Morrow

“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” my boss said.

“Yes,” I nodded.

“What do I have to pay you to make you stay?” he asked.

I just stared at him. No words would come.

“There’s nothing I can do, is there?” he said.

More silence. But my inner voice was anything but silent. I was consumed with doubt and deafened by the bloody battle raging inside my head.

On one side was caution, armed with the strong, fight-to-the-death breed of soldier. Her battalion was fuelled by countless …

More Information is Not the Answer; More Action Is

“Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.” ~Bruce Lee

We live in a world where information is literally at our fingertips, twenty-four hours a day, every day. As wonderful as this can be, it can also lead to a number of challenges.

With so much information available to us it can be difficult to know which way is up.

The more we read, the more confused we become.

One source makes a logical argument for one way to do something. Then we read a completely opposing view that is backed by another logical …

Follow Your Heart, Not Your Fear: How to Make Choices That Are Right for You

“Unnecessary fear of a bad decision is a major stumbling block to good decisions.” ~Jim Camp

Twenty years ago, my wife and I decided to move from Montréal, where we had lived for the first thirty-five years of our lives, to Nova Scotia, 800 miles away, where we had no connections whatsoever. Neither a small decision nor undertaking, since this involved our four kids and the entire contents of our house (not to mention a dog and two cats).

Why were we moving? We were not moving because of a job opportunity; we enjoyed the life we had in Montréal. …

Relinquishing Control of Others: 5 Ways It Serves You

“Selfishness is not living your life as you wish to live it. Selfishness is wanting others to live their lives as you wish them to.” ~Oscar Wilde

My mother is a huge control freak. I am told she got it from my grandmother, who basically ran everyone’s life.

Regardless, growing up, I noticed that she really struggled with relinquishing control of what we were all doing with our lives.

It was partly out of love because she just wanted what was best for us, and partly because she feels a sense of panic when she doesn’t know what’s going to …

Stop Looking for Signs and Trust Yourself

“Always try to remember that most of the things that happen in this world aren’t signs. They happen because they happen, and their only real significance lies in normal cause and effect. You’ll drive yourself crazy if you start trying to pry the meaning out of every gust of wind or rainsquall. I’m not denying that there might actually be a few signs that you won’t want to miss. Knowing the difference is the tricky part.” ~David Eddings

A few years ago I took the Buddhist precepts at a Zen monastery in northern California. At the end of the ceremony …

Changing Directions: 6 Tips to Help You Do What’s Right for You

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” ~Lao Tzu

One month before my girlfriend, Sara, gave birth to our first child, we decided to move back to my small hometown to be close to my family.

This was a great moment for my family, especially for my mom and dad, who had given up hope of me moving back a decade ago.

I sold my apartment and we signed a rental lease in my hometown. Everything was set and good to go. Sara and I were happy, and we had a plan to …

Why You Shouldn’t Wait For Others to Validate Your Decisions

“Do not let another day go by where your dedication to other people’s opinions is greater than your dedication to your own emotions!” ~ Steve Maraboli

One thing I’m great at is procrastinating. Another thing, overanalyzing every decision I make.

I can even question and try to reason which route I should take to walk the dog. It is truly outrageous, when I think about it.

This leads to paralysis through analysis, and inevitably a fear to commit to change. This is how I got stuck.

A few years ago I was feeling immobile and underwhelmed in my life. I …

Rethinking Mistakes and Recognizing the Good in “Bad” Choices

“Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” ~Unknown

For most of my life, I’ve seen the world in black and white, and I’ve felt constricted and pained as a result.

When I was a young girl, I believed there were good people and bad people, and I believed I was bad.

When I was an adolescent, I believed there was good food and bad food, and because everything tasty fell into the latter category, I channeled the shame from feeling bad into bulimia.

And when I grew into adulthood, I believed there were good decisions and bad …

How to Hear Your Intuition When You Don’t Know What to Do

“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” ~William S. Burroughs

Sitting in my office, I stared at the email in front of me.

My heart sank.

All energy and joy left me, to be replaced with confusion, anxiety, and a deep sense of frustration.

As adrenalin rushed through my veins, one question engulfed my mind leaving little room for the answer.

What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?

I just didn’t know.

The email was from a client. Someone who I had worked with for a

Releasing the Need for Certainty and Trusting Our Decisions

If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is.” ~Unknown

If you’re like me, you’re hard on yourself—and I mean hard.

You analyze your decisions and try to somehow calculate the results of your actions to feel a sense of certainty. Little did you know that searching for the certainty causes all of your insides to do flips and only causes more uneasiness.

What I always wonder is where did the need to know come from? I remember being a free spirit with no worries as a child (as …

Trusting Yourself to Make Decisions Instead of Always Seeking Advice

“To thine own self be true.” ~William Shakespeare

No one knows the real you but you. Sometimes it is true that we don’t know ourselves. That’s because we’ve lost ourselves, or maybe because we never knew ourselves to begin with.

I grew up a long time ago on a hill on Bentley road in Puyallup, Washington. I was a very quiet, shy, and reserved little girl. Today, I am a forty-two-year-old woman. I am still introverted, but I am learning to be more assertive.

As a co-dependent people pleaser, I grew up with a lot of self-doubt and …

How to Hear Your Inner Wisdom When Making Tough Choices

“Everyone who wills can hear their inner voice. It is within everyone.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

Do you struggle with listening to your inner voice? Do you doubt yourself and every inner signal you get? You’re not alone.

A decade ago, I didn’t know that I could follow my heart. I’d never heard of the concept of inner wisdom or inner voice.

I started following my interests and doing what made me feel good, and this is the essence of doing what you love and listening to that subtle voice inside of you.

The problems start when we listen too much to …