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Posts tagged with “happy”

When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Past Relationships

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“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” ~Jon Kabat- Zinn

Over the years I’ve talked to a lot of people about that one love, the one who got away, the one who it didn’t work out with, the one with whom the timing was bad.

I’ve had these conversations with people from all age groups, including people in their seventies. I’ve had my own journey with all of the above as I traveled toward finding a life partner.

It seems whether you stay together or not you’ll likely be in each other’s minds for quite some …

Meeting Grief with Mindfulness: How Embracing Pain Opens the Door to Joy

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“We shake with joy, we shake with grief.  What a time they have, these two housed as they are in the same body.” ~Mary Oliver

Mindfulness is a way of relating to our experience that opens us to the totality of it—that is, we learn to embrace it all, the joy and the heartache. But some experiences are harder to be with.

It’s difficult to be with physical or emotional pain, and we often retreat to the mind in search of distractions. But when we are able to fully be with our experience, something that feels like magic happens.

It …

How to Start Loving the Parts of Yourself You Don’t Like

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“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

The sun was breaking into my living room as I was sitting at my dining table, viewing a video that I had just recorded for my Facebook group. It was the first one I took, two minutes long, and there were ten more waiting to be recorded.

I had just pressed the play button to see how I look and sounded, and boy, was I in for a surprise.

I kid you not, I felt like I …

8 Ridiculously Easy Ways to Get (or Stay) in Shape

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“The secret of living well and longer is: eat half, walk double, laugh triple, and love without measure.” ~Tibetan Proverb

For a lot of my life, my weight was a source of great stress.

Growing up, I was the frequently taunted chubby kid in class. Unlike my sister, who always chose strawberry-flavored everything, I leaned toward chocolate and spent way too much time sitting in front of a TV.

I had a potbelly (which made me look like a pregnant eight-year-old) that only slightly deflated when a growth spurt shot me up to the towering height of 5’1½”.

In …

How to Set New Year’s Goals You’ll Actually Enjoy Pursuing

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“Intentions and goals are tools for liberation. But when we use goal-chasing like a hammer, it can beat up on our self-esteem, relationships, and creativity.” ~ Danielle Laporte

Every year, we set out to reach new goals and change our lives. This may mean finally meeting that girlfriend or boyfriend, achieving the dream body, or increasing our salary. Or maybe it’s all three, and a bit more. Whatever combination of goals we have, they help us see how we want to live out our year.

But we can get obsessed with reaching them, so much so that we start to …

A Little Appreciation Can Go a Long Way in Your Relationships

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“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than bread.” ~Mother Teresa

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over four years. We’ve had our fair share of great times and not so pretty moments, but this summer our relationship was put to the test.

During that time, I went through some major transitions with my career and personal development, all things that needed to happen for me to be the best version of myself.

Those months were filled with long hours of working and being alone, solely focusing on creating the future I wanted. …

Seeking Outside Approval Is Giving Our Power Away

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“When you do not seek or need approval, you are at your most powerful.” ~Caroline Myss

Back in the winter of 2012, I was devastated by a sudden near-deaf experience (90% hearing loss), which led me to a dead end in my IT career.

“You’ve been overworked. Rest is the only way to recuperate,” said every single doctor.

Leaving my corporate sales job left me feeling like a total failure.

I felt lost, confused, and frustrated as darkness swallowed my self-esteem.

“Why did you have to work so hard and not get the credit you deserved?!” 

“Is deafness all …

Why Striving For Perfection Is Actually Holding You Back

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“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen

I used to strive for perfection in every aspect of my life. I thought perfection would make me “acceptable” to others.

Deep down, I felt inadequate, insecure, and not enough. And subconsciously, I decided that if I could just achieve perfection with myself, my body, and my life, than I would finally feel the deep love and inner acceptance I longed for inside of myself.

As a kid, I demanded a perfect report card: only …

9 Things to Give Up If You Want to Be Happy

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The Importance of Doing Nothing (and No, You’re Not Too Busy)

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“Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing.” ~Lao Tzu

Whether it’s chores or children, to-do lists or bucket lists—let alone work—modern life moves at a demanding pace. It’s a hamster wheel and, unlike our beloved family pet, we’ve decided it’s not fun.

But as a society we revel in being busy all the time. We consider those who do nothing on the weekend to be dull or lazy. We don’t have time to chew the cud. If William Henry Davies thought his lot “had no time to stop and stare,” he should turn in his grave and see …

How to Forgive When You Don’t Think You Can

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“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ~Steve Maraboli

Have you ever had a relationship, friendship, or marriage that ended so badly it took years, a decade, or even longer to heal? Have you ever wished you could forgive someone but just didn’t think it was possible?

Fifteen years ago I was twenty-six and in a relationship with a man that was destructive. After an intense romance in his home country, I made the poor decision that he should …

If You Want To Know Love, Stop Lying

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“Lies may make people feel better, but they do not help them to know love.” ~Bell Hooks

I was once a liar. I didn’t know I was a liar at the time. I didn’t consciously tell an untruth. Instead, my entire being did.

Lying isn’t just something that is done with words. We can lie with our actions. We can lie with our silence. We can lie with our complicity. We can lie by pretending to be who we aren’t.

I was the lie.

I played dress up for most of my life. It didn’t happen all at once. I …

Stop Focusing on Your “Flaws” and Let Your Light Shine Bright

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“Vulnerability is about having the courage to show up and be seen.” ~Brene Brown

When I was twenty-seven someone told me I had old looking skin.

Up until I heard this comment, I had never given much thought to my skin. Ever since, however, it’s been the only thing I see when I look in the mirror.

Lately, I have been diving deeper into the inner areas of my life that still need further integration. Making themselves most apparent as top priorities are self-love and acceptance.

A good friend recently told me that she has started to look at herself …

When It’s Hard to Trust: 5 Reminders to Soothe New Relationship Anxiety

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“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” ~Ernest Hemingway

“I’m happy. That’s all you need to know.”

These were the final words I spoke to the first person who ever broke my heart and nearly broke my spirit along with it.

He came into my life unexpectedly, and with a ray of light so radiant it uplifted me and gave me hope in the midst of a dark and challenging year. But after only a few short months, that light burned out as he cast me aside quietly, slowly, for …

7 Strategies to Stay Sane This Holiday Season

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“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.” ~Sonia Ricotti

It’s that time of year again. The fresh scent of an evergreen fills the house. Strains of “Silent Night” and “Jingle Bells” permeate the airwaves. Once again, I unpack the fragile, ceramic Santa that I made as a gift for my mom when I was five. Suddenly, I’m transported back in time—for better or for worse.

The holidays should be joyous times filled with family and friends, but sometimes the very traditions that give meaning to this season also trigger old fears, …

Why No One Needs “Fixing” or Wants Unsolicited Advice

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“People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’re lost.” ~Dalai Lama

Have you ever felt the urge to fix someone? And by fix I mean observe their circumstances and tell them what you think they’re doing wrong and exactly how you think they should fix it?

We’ve all done it. We’re all guilty.

Especially with close friends or family.

“If he would only listen to me and do what I say then everything would work out just fine!”

Sound familiar?

I was having tea with a good friend the …

9 Ways to Silence Self-Criticism and Embrace Self-Love

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“I don’t know a perfect person. I only know flawed people who are still worth loving.” ~John Green

Do you ever wonder if that voice in your head is right?

Do you re-live events, scouring through every detail to look for places where you went wrong in your actions?

Do you ever walk away from a conversation with your inner voice ranting that you should have done better—that you should have said this or that instead?

That self-critical voice became a prominent friend of mine. I called it the gremlin. The gremlin leapt onto my shoulder after every conversation with …

Being Happy Doesn’t Mean That Everything Is Perfect

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You Have to Be Happy with Yourself to Be Happy with Someone Else

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Don’t Try to Get Over Your Fear; Go Through It Instead

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“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” ~Frank Herbert, The Bene Gesserit “Litany Against Fear,” from the novel Dune

When I was very small, my grandmother would watch me while my parents were at work. Nana often wanted a break, and her house held very …