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Posts tagged with “happy”

Breaking Free from Manipulative, Narcissistic Parents

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“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” ~Brené Brown

I happened to catch the last scene of the movie Moonstruck on TV a few nights ago. The scene marks the happy resolution of various plot threads, and yet I felt as if I was witnessing the sinking of the Titanic.

It was like watching a demonstration of what I have come to understand as the two ways of being in this world: dominating vs. accepting, narcissism or bullying vs. kindness.

Having come from a narcissistic …

3 Ways to Build Stronger, Deeper Friendships

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“No friendship is an accident.” –O. Henry, Heart of the West

Recently I was telling a friend how grateful I was that she had initiated a get-together.

“No one ever reaches out to me,” I complained. “I feel like I am the one driving all of my relationships.”

“Well,” she responded, “don’t think too highly of me. I almost never reach out…to anyone.”

I mulled this over on my way home that evening. I have often felt like the driving force behind many of my relationships. But I have also felt on many occasions that I’m just as bad at …

3 Times When I Wasn’t a Good Friend & How to Avoid My Mistakes

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“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou

In this current age of social media, it is easy to have large and wide social circles. I believe that the larger and wider these circles get, the shallower the friendships become.

I’ve always been a person who is very selective when forging friendships. I think that has mostly stemmed from the fact that I value depth over breadth, and quality over quantity.

For this reason, I have had a handful of friendships …

Why It’s Okay to Feel Lost (And How to Find Your Way Again)

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“Feeling lost, crazy and desperate belongs to a good life as much as optimism, certainty and reason.” ~Alain de Botton

Do you feel lost and alone?

Adrift and confused about which way to go?

Do you long for “something more” but have no clue what’s missing?

Maybe you’re not miserable exactly, but you’re not animated and in love with life either.

Your circumstances may even look pretty good on the outside.

But on the inside, where truth resides, you are bored to tears, unfulfilled, and restless.

Or maybe you are miserable, stuck in a painful place, silently suffering.

Trust me; …

Learn to Reduce Stress: Mindfulness eCourse by Thich Nhat Hanh

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Stress can be overwhelming, and sometimes crippling.

Not only does stress suck the joy out of our days and keep us awake at night, it can also take a toll on our bodies.

Headaches, chest pain, digestive problems, hair loss—they’re all potential consequences of stress, not to mention serious conditions like heart disease and diabetes.

Then, of course, there are mental consequences. We feel anxious, restless, and irritable, and often scared and discouraged. Like there’s too much to do and we don’t have enough time or skills to do it.

Everything feels urgent, like life is a series of catastrophes …

How to Deal with Depression and Anxiety: 10 Lessons from a Lake

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“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.” ~Viktor Frankl

Low moods can roll in like a numbing wave, washing out the pleasure from life.

If you’ve experienced this, you’re not alone. Surveys have shown that the vast majority of people in the US eventually experience some depressive symptoms, and many are anxious. I’ve been there before.

Early in my medical career, I made some research findings that contradicted the then-current views. My boss was not an expert in that area, so he simply …

Follow Your Heart, Not Your Fear: How to Make Choices That Are Right for You

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“Unnecessary fear of a bad decision is a major stumbling block to good decisions.” ~Jim Camp

Twenty years ago, my wife and I decided to move from Montréal, where we had lived for the first thirty-five years of our lives, to Nova Scotia, 800 miles away, where we had no connections whatsoever. Neither a small decision nor undertaking, since this involved our four kids and the entire contents of our house (not to mention a dog and two cats).

Why were we moving? We were not moving because of a job opportunity; we enjoyed the life we had in Montréal. …

Every Day Is an Opportunity for a Happy Middle

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Two Kind Words That Can Change or Save a Life

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“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ~Leo Buscaglia

My fiancé and I escaped to the northern wilderness. We wanted to build our home and our life off grid, off the beaten path, far from civilization.

It didn’t matter that I was a city girl who couldn’t handle a chainsaw, fix a pickup, or read the warnings of wind and sky. My fiancé was a mountain man, skilled in survival. …

A Simple Way to Calm Yourself When Feeling Strong Emotions

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“This is the root of Self. You are not your thoughts; you are aware of your thoughts. You are not your emotions; you feel your emotions…. You are the conscious being who is aware that you are aware of all these inner and outer things.” ~Michael Singer

I sat across from my colleague with a growing sense of discomfort. I had accepted an assignment from the boss, but I heard from my colleague an undercurrent of questioning and uncertainty—or so it seemed. It was so subtle that I couldn’t quite tell what was going on.

Did she not believe I …

How to Find Lasting Peace (Even When You’re in an Emotional Tornado)

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“You can find peace amidst the storms that threaten you.” ~Joseph B. Wirthlin

Does your mind ever feel like a tornado of whirling thoughts?

And when that happens, do you wish for inner peace?

Well, not too long ago, after I quit my corporate job, I was stuck in that exact position. I realized that the degrees I earned and the jobs I chose made me miserable.

My inner chatter became unbearable, and my self-sabotaging, pestering thoughts sparked anxiety attacks, jitters, and nightmares. That forced me to go into therapy.

But even after a year of professional help, …

5 Common Regrets and How to Avoid Them

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“I don’t regret the things I’ve done, I regret the things I didn’t do when I had the chance.” ~Unknown

If you had a second chance at life, what would you resolve to do differently? What would you regret from your past if you had the power to change it in your future?

In 2011, Bronnie Ware wrote a wonderful book called Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying.

As a palliative care nurse, Bronnie spent several years working with patients during their final weeks of life. She documented the dying epiphanies of her patients and began to notice some …

Why Letting Go of What We Want Enables Us to Get What We Need

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“The most exquisite paradox: as soon as you give it all up, you can have it all. As long as you want power, you can’t have it. The minute you don’t want power, you’ll have more than you ever dreamed possible.” ~Ram Dass

The first time I felt this paradox was in the middle of savasana after a challenging yoga class. I always say that yoga is a metaphor for life, and this is exactly why.

Savasana is the final resting pose in which you lay flat on your back, close your eyes, and do nothing. A super yummy savasana …

7 Steps to Create More Love and Happiness in the Present Moment

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“The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.” ~Abraham Maslow

It was 4:00am, but I was wide awake. I wanted to be a great achiever, a great partner, and a great parent. Instead, I had turned into an irritable insomniac who no longer knew how to relax.

I was trying to do everything perfectly and be everything to everyone. Demands kept piling up. This made it tough to focus on the present moment.

A wandering mind is less happy than a mind focused on what it is doing, according to scientific research. …

An Open Letter To My Bullies: Thank You For Making Me Strong

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“The heart is like a garden: it can grow compassion or fear, resentment or love. What seeds will you plant there?” ~Jack Kornfield

Dear Bullies,

To be honest, I didn’t think I would ever write you a letter. As far as I was concerned, the amount of suffering I went through during my school years was enough to make me bitter.

I didn’t forgive you, and I most certainly wasn’t about to forget.

I remember those years like it was yesterday—the cruel name calling; the scrutinizing of how I looked, what I said, and what I did; the public …

How I Think My Friend Who Died Would Want Me to Live

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“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.” ~Norman Cousins

Have you ever been there?

When someone you love suddenly disappears. When life, within a few seconds, turns upside down. When your biggest problems suddenly seem like nothing but drops in the ocean.

I know I have.

It was December 15, 2013. That was the day when everything changed, when her life came to an end, and many other lives were changed forever.

When they first told me she was gone, I couldn’t fully grasp reality. For a …

You’ll Never Be “Ready,” So Stop Waiting

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“It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready.” ~Hugh Laurie

Throughout our childhood and early adult years, we’re conditioned to think we need to be “ready” to take the next big step in life.

Our teachers won’t let us get too far ahead of where they think we should be in terms of knowledge.

Our parents try to protect us from ideas and truths they think we’re not ready to learn about.

We, ourselves, hold back when faced with major decisions that we don’t believe we’re ready to make.

We’re constantly told we’ll understand certain …

Happiness Hacks: 10 Ways to Infuse Your Life with Joy

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“There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Life seems complicated these days.

We’re all busy pursuing happiness, yet how many of us ever reach that goal?

Success, money, and busyness are top of our priority list, yet deep in our hearts we’d prefer time, love, and security.

It’s the age of making a living, but perhaps at the cost of making a life.

What really makes us happy, and how do we find it?

I spent many years trying to fit in, to be someone else, to pursue the dream of success, in …

10 Ways to Lift Your Spirits When You’re Having a Tough Week

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“True happiness is born of letting go of what is unnecessary.” ~Sharon Salzberg

You are exhausted. Every force in the universe seems to be conspiring against you.

You pick yourself up just to be knocked down again by more bad news.

It’s not fair!

You want to crawl in bed and wait for the week to be over.

But you know you can’t hide.

Sometimes our lives get tough. It happens to all of us. You know things will eventually get better, but it’s hard to get through a ruthless week in one piece.

When you are having a …

Why We Worry About What Other People Think of Us (And How to Stop)

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“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.” ~Winston Churchill

I often play a little game with myself when I’m feeling bad. The game is a simple one, and maybe one that some people might find slightly morbid, but it cuts to the heart of the matter.

I ask myself if this thing that is making me feel bad will matter to me when I’m on my deathbed. Ninety-nine …