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Posts tagged with “happy”

You’re More Valuable Than You Think

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“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” ~Unknown

On a summer night in Hicksville, Long Island, I swung the bat and drove a double down the left-field line. I broke up the pitcher’s no-hitter, and he was one of the best pitchers in the league. I felt completely at home. I was myself.

On another summer night in Vergennes, Vermont, I stumbled back to the fence tracking down a fly ball. I speared at it with my glove, then watched it bounce off of my hand and go over the fence for a grand-slam home …

5 Reasons We All Deserve Forgiveness

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“To forgive is somehow associated with saying that it is all right, that we accept the evil deed. But this is not forgiveness. Forgiveness means that you fill yourself with love and you radiate that love outward and refuse to hang onto the venom or hatred that was engendered by the behaviors that caused the wounds.” ~Wayne Dyer

When we have been deeply hurt or betrayed by a friend, loved one, or even an acquaintance, it can be incredibly difficult to let it go and forgive them. Some acts seem almost unforgivable, but really not much is.

My belief …

How to Stop Pushing and Stressing About Your Goals

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“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” ~Steve Maraboli

I’ve encountered many people who live by the belief that in order to be successful, one must “go out and make things happen.” I used to feel the same until I realized that we don’t actually have control over most aspects of our lives.

We can attempt to make things happen, but doing so doesn’t guarantee anything—it only develops yearning, which leads to suffering.

Take my recent job search, for example. I spent nine months looking for a job. I applied …

10 Ways to Seize the Day and Achieve Greater Work-Life Balance

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“Seize the day, trusting little in the future.” ~Horace

Don’t you hate it when you think of the perfect comeback to someone’s comment way too late? One that really sticks out for me happened a couple years ago.

I was midway through a cross-Canada speaking tour, sharing about my journey with cancer and what it taught me about work-life balance and embracing life’s simple pleasures.

After giving my talk to a Rotary Club in Alberta, one of the audience members approached me.

“You know what balance is?” he gruffly demanded, jabbing a finger at me. “Working hard the first half …

How Non-Attachment Can Benefit Your Relationship

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“You only lose what you cling to.” ~Buddha

I remember one of my first mindfulness classes that pertained to impermanence. I went home in a bit of a slump.

Nothing is permanent; everything ends; “This too, shall pass.” It was quite a shock to the system.

After getting over what, on surface level, seemed to be incredibly dire, I realized that this could be incredibly liberating.

Enter the principle of non-attachment, a notion that has the potential to aid in the evolving nature of day-to-day life.

Rather than clinging to things—relationships, jobs, material goods—hoping that they will last forever, or …

Breaking the Pattern of Painful, Unhealthy Relationships

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“Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.” ~Byron Katie

As I was listening to other women talking in my support group for battered women, I had a life changing moment.

I caught a glimpse of myself and where I was at in life. It was a defining moment that turned around how I felt about myself and changed the cycle of my relationship with men.

“I played a role in my abusive marriage; my ex-husband was treating me how I was treating myself.”

His anger and how he showed it belonged to him; …

How to Stop Feeling Like You’re Not Good Enough

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“Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It’s the fear that we’re not good enough.” ~Brene Brown

I’ve always had a temper for as long as I can remember. It would show up at the most innocuous times—when playing a board game with my family, at the dinner table, or sometimes right in the middle of a shopping mall.

At the time I had no idea why I would get so frustrated, so red-in-the-face with pure rage and an intense feeling of absolute helplessness. Even more puzzling was the triggers to these episodes.

Usually it involved losing at something as …

4 Life-Changing Lessons for People Who Struggle with Anxiety

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“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” ~Epictetus

Sweaty. Hot. Shallow breathing.

Thoughts barreled through my mind like a never-ending freight train. I couldn’t keep up. It was everything all at once, blurred into nothing in particular.

I felt like I was about to jump off a cliff, nervous anticipation building into panic. My head was spinning. My hands trembled.

Choking down a gulp, I forced the tears back that wanted to cascade down my cheeks in sobs. There would be time for that …

How to Rekindle Your Passion for What You Do

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“I would rather die of passion than of boredom.” ~Vincent van Gogh

I rolled my eyes when a new set of emails popped up in my inbox. Will the messages ever stop? I remember the early days of the Internet, when it was actually a thrill to receive a new message.

What used to be exciting had become not only boring, but downright annoying.

That’s when I realized that what I considered my “treasures” had become burdens over time.

And while it wasn’t a big deal to see my old favorite pair of jeans in the donation pile, I became …

How to Stop Taking on Other People’s Fears and Live Freely

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“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” ~Pema Chodron

You wake up in the morning, it is sunny outside, and you are grateful for this brand new day. You are enthusiastic to get it started. You take a deep breath and go outside; then you see some gum in your street.

Will you pick it up and stick it to your T-shirt, or maybe even have a little taste of it? Of course not!

Please excuse the gross opening, but bear with me for a second.

So many of us have done something just like that, …

4 Mistakes That Are Built into Your Brain

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“Cognitive bias is the biggest self-imposed obstacle to progress, not only for oneself but in the end, for all mankind.” ~Unknown

On a beautiful Pittsburgh morning in 1995, McArthur Wheeler decided to rob a bank. Not just one bank, but two. McArthur had a secret plan, one that he thought would make him exceptionally successful. It involved something very sour, a lemon.

McArthur had just recently discovered the “invisible ink,” a substance commonly used in elementary science class. Lemon juice, when used as ink on paper and dried, only appears visible when heated. Unfortunately for McArthur, his ingenious plan involved …

How Accepting the “Bad” Can Lead to Joy and Growth

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“The main affliction of our modern civilization is that we don’t know how to handle the suffering inside us and we try to cover it up with all kinds of consumption.” ~Thich Nhat Hạnh

Since I was little, I’ve been taught to avoid what’s “bad” and move toward what’s “good.”

Growing up, my mom would work day and night not only to support me and my little brother with the basic necessities, but to give us a “good” life.

She loved us, so naturally she wanted to support us and to give us happiness, and …

4 Ways Introverts Can Super-Charge Their Happiness

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“Solitude matters, and for some people, it’s the air they breathe.” ~Susan Cain

Do you get ticked off too?

I mean, when people say you’re awkward, naive, and anti-social.

Your feelings get bruised, and then you find yourself drowning in a sea of unhappiness.

All you want is to be normal. To be accepted and to fit in. The more social you try to be, the more uhappy you get.

You’ve worn all the right masks to be normal, but it seems all your efforts aren’t good enough.

Well, I know that feeling all too well, unfortunately.

How Trying

…

4 Things to Remember When Life Feels Hopeless

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“However long the night, the dawn will break.” ~African Proverb

Were there times in your life where it felt anything that could go wrong went wrong? That was me five years ago.

In a span of nine months, my marriage to a partner of eight years broke down, I lost four family members to unexpected deaths, and I suddenly found myself hurtled from living the dream life to being jobless, penniless, and homeless.

To say life knocked the wind out of me would be an understatement.

Each time I picked myself up, another blow would send me sprawling toward a …

Why Embracing Painful Feelings is the Key to Happiness and Freedom

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“In our struggle for freedom, truth is the only weapon we possess.” ~Dalai Lama

I often ask myself what led me to that place of feeling like I didn’t deserve to love myself.

When I look back to my youth I remember feeling hopeless. My mom, my hero, was sick a lot, and I could tell she wasn’t happy. And my dad didn’t always know how to act around a sensitive little girl.

There was a “funny” story told at family gatherings about how after seeing the movie Mary Poppins, I would sit for hours in my little red …

How to Kickstart a Healthy Habit When You’ve Gotten Off Track

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“Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn’t matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” ~Rumi

Our spiritual, meditative, or other self-care practices can easily be interrupted, back burnered, or seemingly lost when one of life’s whammies happen.

Sickness has thrown me off track more times than I care to count. Coming down with something again, swirling in negativity because once again my body had failed me, my immune system weak, I could not perform in the world the …

Overcoming Sugar Addiction: A Guide to Breaking the Sweets Cycle

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“It’s not until your eyes adjust to the dark that you can finally grasp—and if you let it—be astonished, by the light of your own being.” ~Andréa Balt

Sugar was my best friend, my confidant, and my (not so secret) love. She provided me comfort and companionship. I went to her when I was happy, sad, anxious, excited, celebratory, scared, and broken-hearted. Social gatherings were centered around my infatuation with her.

I loved the taste, the experience, the social aspect. I loved the visual experience, the artistry, the display case of the perfectly frosted cupcakes and dusting …

We Are Victors, Not Victims

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TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of assault and may be triggering to some people. 

“You are not a victim. No matter what you have been through, you’re still here. You may have been challenged, hurt, betrayed, beaten, and discouraged, but nothing has defeated you. You are still here! You have been delayed but not denied. You are not a victim, you are a victor. You have a history of victory.” ~Steve Maraboli

I was about twenty years old. It was a beautiful summer day, and I decided to walk to my parents’ house.

I usually called them …

Moving Beyond Passive-Aggression: Stop Repressing Your Feelings

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“Don’t let the fear of what people might think stop you from speaking your mind. Speak up, you deserve to be heard.” ~Unknown

I used to suffer from immense communication problems that manifested as passive-aggression. I had no idea how to get what I needed, and I often failed to express my desires.

My maladaptive response was to remain positive at all times, while burying my feelings and casting them into the back of my mind. It wasn’t the greatest time in my life, but it served as a valuable lesson more than a decade later, when I cleared …

Adventures for Your Soul Book Giveaway: Live the Life of Your Dreams

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UPDATE: The winners for this giveaway are:

  • Sarah Jane Vallente
  • Chandra Milliron

“Just like the characters of a movie, you are a character in the show called ‘Life.’ Are you in a starring role? Or are you a supporting actor?” ~Shannon Kaiser

Do you ever feel like could be doing more with your life? Like you’re holding yourself back in fear and not reaching your true potential? Maybe you don’t even know what you want; you just know what you don’t want, and yet you can’t seem to escape it.

I’ve been there quite a few times myself, and I’ve …