Love Challenge #128: Listen Without Trying to Fix Things
From the upcoming book Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges. Pre-order before October 6th and get $300+ in free bonus gifts!
Posts tagged with “Love”
Help Instead of Judging; They May Be Blinded by Pain
“We can judge others or we can love others, but we can’t do both at the same time.” ~Unknown
When I was eighteen, my father took his own life. I was just a baby, really, a mere freshman working on my Bachelors Degree at UMF.
There are times when I feel lost in the pain of missing him, stuck with this empty hole inside. Hovering in between confusion and anger, where the feelings consume me.
Losing my father in such a traumatic way has shown me just how deeply I can feel, how hard I can fall, how grief …
Be Fully Present with Your Loved Ones While You Have the Chance
“Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.” ~Michelle C. Ustaszeski
One day after being on a spiritual path for many years, I stood in my art studio, happy to be creating a new painting. Content in my life, I was married to a great guy and raising two young boys that brought me so much joy.
My life was perfect. Well, not exactly, but I definitely had moments of thinking it was, and this happened to be one of those moments.
I had come a long way. Gone were the …
We Have to Love Ourselves Enough to Say No Sometimes
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire Universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
I’m a people pleaser. I know so many of us are. We want to see everyone around us happy and do our best to make this happen. This can mean anything from being kind, to offering favors, to lending a helping hand, or simply just being there, being supportive.
But, it can also mean not knowing how to say no, apologizing incessantly, spending money when we’d rather not, reaching beyond our emotional means, and stretching ourselves so thin we barely have any energy …
When You’ve Fallen for Someone Who Isn’t Right for You Right Now
“You have to learn to get up from the table when love is not being served.” ~Nina Simone
I completely fell for someone.
It was one of those instantaneous connections, the kind that movies are made of. That’s how it was in my head, at least.
But it didn’t matter, as I was moving to another city, traveling, and exploring by this point. There was no way anything was going to happen, because there was no space in either of our lives for it.
Almost a year later, we found our way back to each other. It was fireworks. Long …
How to Show Your Friends You Appreciate Them
“Life without friendship is like the sky without the sun.” ~Unknown
You love your friends. They’ve been with you through good times and bad. They are the rare breed of humans that accept your weirdness, accept your authentic self, and even love you for it.
You wholeheartedly appreciate them. When you’re with them, you get an overwhelming sense of thankfulness that you have this wonderful human being in your life.
Sometimes, however, you get a sense that you wish you could let that person know just how much they truly mean to you.
Offering to buy a cup of …
Ending the Cycle of Breaking Up and Getting Back Together
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Almost all of my romantic relationships have had some kind of long ending. At some point I’ve gained clarity on the relationship, I’ve acknowledged the truth that it’s not working out, and then I’ve ended it.
I would like to say that was the end of the story, that I moved on each time with peace and ease. But the reality is that I second-guessed myself and ended up excusing all of my partners’ faults to justify giving them another chance.
There have been …
Lost Love: How to Survive Heartbreak and Seize the Future
“We must be willing to let go of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” ~Joseph Campbell
On top of the world at twenty-two.
That’s how I felt. I was twenty-two years old and in love for the first time. I couldn’t believe it.
I had come out of a lonely childhood and was beginning to find confidence as a young adult. I landed a secure job, bought my first car, and experienced a freedom I never felt before. Then this beautiful girl came along and took me to another level.
Little …
How To Reclaim Your True Identity and Live Beyond Your Labels
“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.” ~Ralph Ellison
Who are you? Yes, you! No, not what the world has tried to make you. Not what your past tells you. Not what your worries tell you about your future. Who are you?
If you’ve ever felt like your identity has been completely shattered, then I have news for you…
Good! You’re on the right path. Give me a second, because I’m sure you’re wondering where I’m going with this.
Well, how do I begin reclaiming my identity once it’s lost? First, in realizing what your identity is. What …
The Simple, Free, and Foolproof Way to Become a Happier Person
“For it is in giving that we receive.” ~St. Francis of Assisi
If there were a magic pill that led to a 22% lower mortality rate and higher levels of self-esteem and happiness, would you try it?
I’m betting you would.
Well I’m here to share some good news: there’s no need for pills or money or magic. In fact, the solution is both free and easy. It’s called volunteering, and it’s proven to make you happier and healthier. All it requires is an open mind, full heart, and a few hours of your time.
Wondering why giving …
Keep Your Heart Open to Love When Life Knocks You Down
“Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.” ~Pema Chodron
I was nineteen weeks pregnant when my husband and I went for a routine ultrasound. We were to confirm that our child’s anatomy was as it should be, and we were to discover our child’s sex.
We were choosing names in the waiting room. We ran into the receptionist at the fertility clinic and exchanged hugs. We had graduated from the clinic. The tuition was expensive and the education detailed and grueling. But we were a …
A Simple Way to Really See Each Other and Be Seen
“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.” ~Pema Chodron
Growing up, my family ate dinner together nearly every night. It was a given. My mom also created a tradition called “go around the table,” in which everyone in my family would take turns sharing the details of our day.
I often think back on this memory with awe at the impact this simple yet profound activity has had on my life.
While I do not yet have a family, I have introduced “go around the table” to friends at dinner parties …
How Emotional Pain Can Cause Us to Act “Crazy” in Relationships
“We all exist in our own personal reality of craziness.” ~Alejandro Jodorowsky
Most of us have heard stories of “crazy” women (and sometimes men) and psycho exes. They are our friends, boyfriends’ exes, family members, and sometimes they can even be us.
Often people (including ourselves) are quick to judge these people. We write them off as emotional wrecks. We label them. We shame them. It’s hard not to judge when we are not equipped with the tools to deal with behaviors we don’t understand.
It’s even harder to feel empathy when we experience suffocation and feel our boundaries …
What Does Love Look Like to You?
SoulPancake asked viewers to submit short home videos depicting what loves looks like to them and then created this beautiful video montage. What does love look like to you?
How to Stop Trying to Fit In and Finally Belong
“Perhaps home is not a place, but simply an irrevocable condition.” ~James Baldwin
It’s normal, isn’t it?
Wanting to be accepted. Longing to feel at home. Hoping for that reassuring up-nod from the universe that says, “You’re one of us. And you get to stay.”
So you try to fit in wherever it feels right. You get the job everyone approves of. You marry the person you’re supposed to. You say yes most of the time. And you’re as good as you’re supposed to be.
You’ve jumped through every hoop and worn all the right masks, but it seems that …
How to Foster Better Relationships Just by Being Present
“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
I love to pose a question in my journal and watch carefully for the myriad responses from The Universe. I always know how much attention something needs based on the quantity and clarity of the answers I receive.
Lately I’ve been pondering the question: How can I be a better sister, daughter, and friend? The Universe has been responding with a metric truckload of answers.
The common theme?
Get present.
With our busy lives, we’re …
5 Love Lessons to Help Your Relationship Thrive
“Some people come into your life as blessings. Others come into your life as lessons.” ~Mother Teresa
Going by experience, I should have been petrified of men and marriage.
Forced into an arranged marriage at twenty, something that is common in India, it took me over a decade to draw up the courage to leave a toxic, abusive situation and to chart my own path in a conservative society, with two little kids to fend for.
But due to an inner conviction in the workings of a larger universe, I somehow made it through with my sense of wonder (and …
You Were (and Are) More Beautiful Than You Think
“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” ~Kahlil Gibran
Does a loved one have a favorite photo of you? A photo by their bedside or on their screensaver that reminds them of a special time and place and memory?
Can I also hazard a guess that this isn’t your favorite photo of yourself? I bet you look at yourself critically and dislike how your face looks, or maybe your body is not cast in its most flattering light. I was reminded of this recently, and it made me think of how I view photos …
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