Posts tagged with “Love”

Releasing Labels: Be What You Love, Not What You Do

“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” ~Brené Brown

I thought I was supposed to have a shiny job, the kind that makes people envious at cocktail parties.

We had moved with my husband’s job again. I think it was move number six out of nine and we were over at a friend’s house. There were people I didn’t know there, and I could feel myself avoiding them in case they asked “the question.”

The question was “So,” (pause to look at drink), “what do …

70 Ways to Make Others Feel Special

By Lori Deschene

“Be the person that makes others feel special. Be known for your kindness and grace.” ~Unknown

There is someone in my life that has an extraordinary talent for making people feel special. I would call him out by name, but he’s a fairly private person, so we’ll just call him “E.”

It’s not that E makes people feel that they are somehow greater than others. He recognizes what’s special about everyone he encounters, and through his attention, kindness, and generosity, brings out the best in them.

He doesn’t do this through grand gestures, and not with expectations of receiving anything …

Practicing Loving-Kindness Even When (Especially When) You Are Hurting

By Leslie Ralph

“Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.” ~Charles Dickens

All of us have been hurt or angered by someone’s words at some point. Some words are blatantly cruel, and others are deceptive, appearing to be in our best interest but only ever leading us astray. These are the messages that leave us questioning who we are or how we should be.

I’ve been labeled timid and stuck-up. Speak up more, but stop interrupting. Be more assertive, but don’t complain. Be more outgoing, but be authentic.

I’ve been called …

Transforming Shame Into Love, One Good Deed At A Time

By Jill Gross

“No one is useless in the world who lightens the burdens of another.” ~Charles Dickens

A few years back, I saw a sticker that read, “Be the change you wish to see in the world. –Gandhi.”

My knee-jerk reaction was annoyance because the sticker was affixed to the bumper of a car that turned left in front of me. I was in the middle of a long stretch of bad days, so pretty much anything would have set me off.

My search for happiness during that bleak period seemed fruitless, most likely because I didn’t know that happiness is not …

Love Yourself for Who You Are

By Lori Deschene

The Key to Finding Your Ideal Partner in Life

By Banu Sekendur

“The most perfect relationship is the one that supports you in fulfilling your destiny—the one that empowers you to be everything you are meant to be in this world and beyond.” ~Jan H. Stringer

As I was sitting up in my bed, reviewing my “Ideal partner wish list” from six years ago, I was a little appalled. I had no idea how much I had been influenced by Hollywood when it came to identifying what I wanted in an ideal partner. It was watermarked all over my wish list. It was hard to ignore.

There was an undertone of …

51 Ways to Feel Happy in 5 Minutes

By Peter Banerjea

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” ~Buddha

For the longest time I lived in the future.

I had a grand list of all the big things I wanted to do…

Build a multinational company, become a philanthropist, go on long vacations all over the world with my wife, have a big house with a lovely garden…the list goes on!

It’s great to be ambitious, I still believe that.

However, the more I made plans and worked toward my ambitions, the more I reinforced a concept within …

Love Is…

By Lori Deschene

From Conflict to Compassion: Put Love Above Winning

By Sara Bensman

“Let go of your attachment to being right and suddenly your mind is more open.” ~Ralph Marston

When we face a conflict we face an opportunity to learn from pain. It’s like putting your hand against a hot burner on the stove. The burn warns that you have to do something differently.

You pull your hand back reflexively and you don’t touch the stove again. You’ve learned. As with the hot stove, if we get the lesson that is in front of us, we don’t need to keep repeating that particular pain.

Inconveniently, our natural inclination when we feel the …

A Reason to Forgive Your Parents (And How to Soften Your Anger)

By Michael Sosnowski

“If you cannot forgive and forget, pick one.” ~Robert Brault

I used to hate my parents.

I despised them. I blamed them for most of my issues.

I couldn’t do what I wanted to do in life because they would disapprove of it. I couldn’t be a cop or firefighter because those professions didn’t make enough money. I could only study a major that would be beneficial in getting me a job and not one that they thought was pointless, such as psychology or sociology.

I hated my dad for never being there when I was a child. I hated …

Keep Hope Alive: How To Help Someone Who’s Struggling

By Licia Morelli

“He who has health has hope and he who has hope has everything.” ~Proverb

I write this today seemingly healthy.

My doctors say I’m healthy. I feel healthy. I look healthy. But over the last six months this was not the case.

In April of this year I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Melanoma. I am thirty-five years old. I am a wife and a mother to a four-year-old and six-year-old. I have my own business. I am busy. I did not have time for cancer.

But cancer had time for me.

I’ll never forget the day that I got …

4 Ways to Have More Affectionate, Loving Relationships

By Elizabeth Stone

“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” ~Simone Weil

This morning I was busy French pressing coffee for my husband and me. Everything was going great; I was happily humming along, looking forward to starting my day. My lovely husband came up behind me and bear hugged me gently.

Now, I’ll admit that I don’t usually take this well when I’m in the middle of something. If I’m cooking (which I’m particularly serious about), I’ve been known to push him away and say something along the lines of “I’m cooking! Back!”

This is not sensitive or caring. It’s …

When You Fear Emotional Abandonment: Do You Know Your Worth?

By Barb Smeltzer

“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” ~Unknown

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free…says Lady Liberty. She was speaking to immigrants wanting to start a new promised life in America, but those words could be my tagline for the men I have had my most intimate relationships with.

If you were broken, emotionally unavailable, complicated, and confused, I was your girl.

I would love you more than you loved yourself, or could love me.

I would put all my energy in trying to make it work, trying to …

Nothing Is Permanent: Letting Go of Attachment to People

By Alisa Hutton

“Impermanence is not something to be afraid of. It’s the evolution, a never-ending horizon.” ~Deepak Chopra

I have been reading a lot lately on attachment and impermanence. It’s a big topic, one that is often hard to wrap your head and heart around. How can I live a life without attachment? Doesn’t that mean that I am not being a loving or caring person? I mean really, no attachment—it just seems cold.

This all started for me when the love of my life told me, “I love you, I am just not in love with you.” Ouch.

To say I …

From Loathing to Love: What Makes Us Feel Worthwhile

By Mary-Elizabeth Schurrer

“Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.” ~Unknown

My healing journey can be described through what I call the “self formula”:

Self-Doubt > Self-Loathing > Self-Destruction > Self-Awareness > Self-Love

Mine is the oldest story in the book. Adolescent angst. Mental deception. Physical revulsion. I feel fat. No, scratch that. I am fat. This girl in the mirror is ruining my life. Woe is me.

Groundbreaking drama, right? How original of me to “feel fat.” Surely, you’ve never heard that complaint before.

Except it wasn’t just a complaint. I …

When We Try to Change Others and Avoid Ourselves

By Michelle D'Avella

“I’ve discovered that you can’t change people. They can change themselves.” ~Jim Rohn

This is indeed a fact—a fact I took a long time to learn.

You may argue that we help each other change, and it’s true. But the deepest truth is that only we are responsible for our own growth.

The most difficult work is the seemingly minuscule shift from resistance to willingness, which allows us to face the difficult things we’ve been hiding from, and only we can do this for ourselves.

I had boyfriends who had issues. One of them lacked ambition; he was already lost …

How to Heal from Heartbreak and Allow Love into Your Life

By Vishnu

“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” ~Marianne Williamson

Love terrifies me.

After having loved, courted, and married the love of my life, things went sour. Over the course of a few years, our marriage crumbled and our relationship came to a sudden halt.

When you’ve only been with one person, loved that person to the core, and believed that person to be your soul mate, you take the breakup unusually hard.

Yes, tears. Yes, sorrow. Yes, seclusion. Yes, withdrawal. Yes, not wanting to get out of bed.

I experienced every symptom of heartbreak …

Why Conflict Isn’t Bad (And How to Make It Easier)

By Hannah Braime

“Conflict is inevitable but combat is optional.” ~Max Lucade

I used to do everything I could to avoid having conversations that could potentially be challenging or difficult—even resorting to lying or obfuscation if I really felt backed into a corner.

I didn’t have a good template for what healthy conflict looked like, so every challenging conversation felt like a minefield where I could be attacked, blamed, or shamed at any moment.

As I got older, and especially as I started dating and getting involved in longer-term relationships, I realized that conflict was actually an inevitable, even necessary, part of co-existing …