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Posts tagged with “negative”

Finding Happiness: 11 Simple Ways to Get Your Smile Back

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“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” ~The Dalai Lama

A while back my sister arrived for a family get-together and remarked, “Your mad laughter is missing. What’s happening?”

My mind trailed back to my childhood and teenage years and showed me images of a girl who could laugh easily, loudly, and madly.

Somewhere along the line I had lost my ability to laugh—truly laugh, with wonder and without worry.

At first I brushed it off because I didn’t even notice myself changing. The change was gradual, imperceptible.

I had come to take life too …

Holiday Love Challenge #16: Be a Voice of Compassion

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Want more ideas to strengthen your relationships? Get Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges.

How Thoughts Can Lead to Emotional Explosions

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“Stay present. Stay conscious. Be the ever-alert guardian of your inner space.” ~Eckhart Tolle

It was approximately 1:20 pm on a sunny Thursday afternoon, and I was halfway through my presentation at a high school, when I was interrupted by a loud automated female voice blowing through the intercom speakers.

“Please secure your classroom. Please secure your classroom,” it said.

I was extremely alarmed but mainly confused. I looked at the instructor for direction. His face had turned bright red and it was obvious he was holding back panic. He dashed to the front of the classroom to lock the …

When Being Positive Can Hurt You and What To Do About It

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“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

While confiding in a friend one day, I mentioned how I’d been feeling a little blue.

“Snap out of it,” he said, matter-of-factly.

While this wasn’t the first time I’d received advice like this, or heard someone else being on the receiving end of the likes of it, it still left me feeling as if there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t just snap out of it.

He went on: “You’ve just got to be positive.”

If only it was …

7 Ways to Learn from Your Negative Thoughts

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“The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.” ~Plutarch

I remember when I first learned about positive thinking. I was to observe my thoughts, then sort them into “useful” and “not useful.”

This made sense to me, and it surprised me how many “not useful” thoughts I encountered. On a daily basis, I was telling myself that I was not good enough, that things could never work out, and that I was on the verge of being fired from my job.

“Not useful, not useful,” my mind kept repeating. And yet the …

10 Thinking Patterns That Can Fuel Depression

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“Nothing can harm you as much as your own thoughts unguarded.” ~Buddha

You know the feeling …

When out of the blue your mood switches.

One moment you’re feeling upbeat and optimistic; next you’re feeling down in the dumps.

You can’t think clearly and struggle to put things into perspective. The bright outlook on life of a moment ago has vanished, and in its place now resides an intense longing for its return.

You feel disconnected, lost, and confused, and everything around you looks and feels dark and bleak. And even though you have no reason to feel this way, …

There’s More Right in the World Than You Might Think

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“When you turn on the television … you run the risk of ingesting harmful things, such as violence, despair, or fear.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I passed the rack of newspapers on my way into story time at the library, ignoring the latest headlines. Murder, mayhem, war, disaster—it all calls like a siren at sea. My pace picks up as I turn the other direction.

My two-year old charge, whom I affectionately call Little Man P, is captivated by the animated librarian. She impresses me with her liveliness and ease in handling a room full of kiddos. It is clear she …

We All Have Bad Days and All Need a Little Kindness

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”Be kind to unkind people. They need it the most.” ~Unknown

A couple weeks back I had what Alexander would call a no good, terrible, very bad day.

I’d slept poorly the night before—possibly because I had caffeine, which I usually avoid, somewhat late in the day, and possibly because I have a toddler-sized bladder that doesn’t seem to understand or care about REM cycles.

In addition to being physically exhausted, I was feeling emotionally spent. I’d been dealing with a high level of uncertainty, as my boyfriend and I were preparing to move yet again, after months of discussion …

7 Habits That Keep You Strong (Even When Things Go Wrong)

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“I’m stronger because of the hard times, wiser because of my mistakes, and happier because I have known sadness.” ~Unknown

It’s happened to most of us.

Despite our best intentions, something goes dreadfully wrong.

You suffer a heartbreaking loss, make a terrible mistake, or get blindsided by an injury.

In disbelief your mind cries, “Wait. What?”

And then, “No, no, no, this can’t be happening.”

After the initial shock, when the surge of stress hormones has subsided, you realize that yes, this is happening.

And you can’t help thinking: “But how could this happen? It’s not fair. I can’t bear …

Why You May Feel Crushed by Criticism (And What to Do About It)

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“If you keep your feathers well oiled the water of criticism will run off as from a duck’s back.” ~Ellen Swallow Richards

We all seek love, approval, and appreciation, don’t we? We sometimes obsess over what people think of us. When we receive feedback that seems less than favorable, we speculate for days about what it might mean.

Usually we attach the wrong meaning to it, and this drains our energy and might even cause us to withdraw and quit what we are doing.

Is there a way to avoid this? How can we keep our feathers well …

How to Maintain Peace and Joy Despite Your Everyday Struggles

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“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” ~Deepak Chopra

For years I allowed everyday struggles, like slight disturbances from schedule, to steal my happiness, peace, and energy. Whenever something disrupted my plan, I got negative and started complaining.

When I realized this, I began taking steps to accept the daily chaos. I shifted my focus to how I percieve my daily life and how I spend the twenty-four hours I get.

I started asking questions, like: Am I being positive? Am I spending my hours in a way that’s productive yet joyful?

And I began …

How to Keep Your Spirits Up When You’re Bombarded With Negativity All Day

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“In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.” ~Tony Robbins

Do you ever have to deal with negative people?

Do you ever have days where everybody seems to want to bark at you all day long?

Under those circumstances, you struggle to keep your spirits up, don’t you?

Well, I know the feeling—all too well, unfortunately.

Years ago, I worked in a collection department for an insurance company collecting the unpaid debts …

Lashing Out is Losing Control; Calmness Is Strength and Power

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“Self-control is strength. Right thought is mastery. Calmness is power.” ~James Allen

I would like to share something personal with you. It’s the story of how I first glimpsed what true strength and power is and where they come from. I hope this story helps to further illuminate your journey through life.

I remember one day when I was in the back seat of my parents’ car. I was probably about thirteen years old. We were parked in a hotel driveway, waiting, though I can’t recall why.

After a few minutes, another car pulled up behind ours and the driver …

“Toxic” People Often Need Compassion the Most

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“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” ~Plato

By all standard definitions, I used to be an energy vampire. I lived in my own self-created drama, prone to rages, complaints, and self-pity. I exhausted the people around me and played games of control, superiority, and victimhood.

I’ve heard this bundle of behaviors called a “personality type,” and I think that is as obscene as saying that a hungry person has a “Hungry Personality Type.”

An energy vampire, by definition, is someone who cannot create or sustain their own positive energy, so they take it from …

Stop Beating Yourself Up: 40 Ways to Silence Your Inner Critic

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“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

If you’re anything like I used to be, your inner critic packs a powerful punch.

You’ve got a vicious voice bad mouthing you for much of the day. And when it’s in one of those moods, wow, are you going to suffer.

It’s no wonder you feel small, disappointed, and ashamed of who you are.

It’s the reason you lie in bed at night feeling like a failure, convinced you’re a nobody, certain you’re a serial mistake …

6 Ways to Deal with Critical, Judgmental People

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“When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.” ~Unknown

We all have people in our lives who unintentionally hurt us. Their words may sound harsh. We may feel judged. And they may question our choices so much that we feel emotionally unsafe around them.

People can make comments about our career choice, living situation, life partner (or lack of), child-rearing decisions, and hobbies—and often when we didn’t ask for their opinion or advice.

Oftentimes, the healthiest choice is to stay away from these …

Interview and Book Giveaway: 10 Habits of Truly Optimistic People

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Update: The winners for this giveaway are:

I have a confession to make—I sometimes cringe when someone tells me to “just be positive.” I’ve often assumed this really means, “Your sadness is making me uncomfortable, so please stop talking about it.”

To be fair, I wouldn’t classify myself as a negative person—not now, anyways—though I have my moments. I do, however, feel for anyone who might be classified that way, as I know from experience that deep negativity often comes from deep pain.

We all face our own battles in life, some more overwhelming than others. And …

Forming Positive Relationships: Two Simple Strategies to Meet New People

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“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou

We all want to be around people who make us feel lighter and happy. We love seeing and interacting with people who brighten our days.

So, why is it that so many of us spend our days with people who don’t lift us up, people who don’t inspire us, and in some cases, people who tear us down?

It’s tough to remove these kinds of people from our lives, especially if we see …

How to Stop Weighing Yourself Down with Emotional Junk Food

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“Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” ~Rumi

I want to feel better. Who doesn’t? Yoga makes me feel better most of the time, but if I am being totally honest, I don’t always choose the healthy option. In fact, sometimes I pick the worst thing for me.

For me, a plate of BBQ wings really hits the spot. That is, until a few hours later when the salt and protein load kicks in and I feel terrible. Again.

While I may oscillate between healthy and unhealthy choices for my body, I know how to …

We Can Be Positive Without Repressing Our Emotions

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“I’m stronger because of the hard times, wiser because of my mistakes, and happier because I have known sadness.” ~Unknown

One day at my part-time job, my supervisor told me that my boss wanted to talk to me. This was completely unexpected, so I was a bit concerned. Everything had been going so incredibly smoothly in my life for the past week or two, and all I wanted was to keep that oh-so-wonderful peacefulness going.

But when I came into her office, I knew in my entire being that something was off. My stomach clinched up and I …