Posts tagged with “Pain”

How Death Teaches Us to Live Fully: 7 Enlightening Lessons

“We meet but briefly in life, if we touch each other with stardust, that is everything.” ~Unknown

We had baked chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy that evening. It was the kind of hearty meal that warms you up on a damp March night.

As I said goodnight, I couldn’t have imagined that in just a few hours I would return to my parents’ house and everything would be changed forever.

But so it goes. Nothing in life is permanent.

I’ll never forget that phone call. I felt everything drain out of me and then it seemed as though …

Stay Motivated To Make Lasting Changes With These 5 Simple Steps

By Victoria Gigante

“The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.” ~Ralph Blum

We all face obstacles. Maybe you’re unhappy in your career, but don’t know what else you’d like to do with your life. Maybe you’re unfulfilled in your relationship, but don’t know how to communicate this to your partner. Or maybe you’re struggling to make ends meet financially, and don’t know how to get out of debt.

A few years ago, my life was in complete shambles. My marriage had fallen apart, I was unfulfilled at work, I felt disconnected and misunderstood by family and …

Recovering from the Pain of Bullying and Finding Confidence as an Adult

By Jessica Goody

“If your number one goal is to make sure that everyone likes and approves of you, then you risk sacrificing your uniqueness, and therefore, your excellence.” ~Unknown

I envied the clusters of kids at recess, playing games from which I was always excluded, not just because I couldn’t play them, but also because I was the class outcast. I envied them, the ease with which they moved; their grace, speed, and precision as they ran, kicked, danced, dove. Things I could hardly hope to do.

But it wasn’t just my Cerebral Palsy. It was something that wasn’t really about my …

How to Bounce Back from a Hard Time and Come Out Stronger

By Christopher Walker

“How we remember, what we remember, and why we remember, form the most personal map of our individuality.” ~Christina Baldwin

Look in the mirror. Who returns your gaze?

Is the face looking back at you a fulfilled being, or a mere shell of longing for something better?

If you would’ve asked me these questions a year ago, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you.

Fresh out of college and on a mission to convince my ego of its importance, I began down a path that, unbeknownst to me at the time, would teach me more about myself than I’d …

Embracing Pain: Life’s Gifts Often Come Wrapped in Sandpaper

By Mina Grace Drake

“The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.” ~Unknown

“How did you get so wise?” My friend’s voice on the other end of the telephone line was genuinely curious.

I took a moment to think, wanting to be just as sincere in my response as she was in her inquiry. I felt the words climb up from the depths of my heart and ride a breath of truth as they passed through my lips.

“I cry a lot,” I finally responded.

Believe me, I wish there was another way. On my personal journey—and there are …

3 Ways to Feel Good When Things Seem Bad

By Lisa Esile

“It isn’t what happens to us that causes us to suffer; it’s what we say to ourselves about what happens.” ~Pema Chodron

Have you ever had something happen in your life that completely changed everything?

Wham. Suddenly you haven’t left your bedroom in days, you can’t remember what it feels like to shower, and it’s clear the only friend you can really count on is your cat.

And whether it’s a major life-suck event or a minor one, the question is: How can I feel contented and calm when things don’t go to plan?

That is what this post is …

Get Past It Instead of Getting Even: Revenge Isn’t Winning

By Craig Ruvere

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The first thing many of us think of after someone has wronged or disrespected us is how to get even—how to hand out a dose of that person’s own medicine in an attempt to feel totally vindicated.

Most of us have thought about revenge at one point or another.

Maybe it’s a co-worker, a classmate, a family member, or even a boyfriend or girlfriend, but regardless of the relationship it’s often an instinctive reaction when someone attacks the deepest, most fragile part of …

Letting Go of Your Past Suffering to Feel Peaceful and Free

By Faith Antion

“Letting go give us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

I stood alone in what had been my childhood bedroom, staring at the dresser with a familiar discomfort. My fingers clutched at the handle of the second drawer from the top and pulled hard, straining from the weight of its contents.

I reached in with both hands, the drawer with its quarter inch plywood base teetering dangerously on the edge of the frame, and lifted them out, one by one.

Unicorns, fairies, rainbows, mystical maidens, all disappeared as I placed the journals into the …

Helping Others Helps Us All: We’re All in This Together

By Lucy H. Pearce

“Pain is not a sign of weakness, but bearing it alone is a choice to grow weak.” ~Lori Deschene

I, like many of you I’m guessing, am a wanderer. A student of the soul. At times it can be a bewildering path. Most days I give thanks for the adventure. Many others I wish for clarity and certainty.

But though I am a wanderer, I am not aimless: I have a path as deep and true as any other. I simply have no map to guide me, only my intuition, and the myriad teachers that cross my …

How to Deal with Uncomfortable Feelings & Create Positive Ones

By Lori Deschene

“Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn’t permanent.” ~Jean Kerr

For most of my life, I was a fugitive from my feelings.

Psychologists suggest that we are driven by two connected motivations: to feel pleasure and avoid pain. Most of us devote more energy to the latter than the former.

Instead of being proactive and making choices for our happiness, we react to things that happen in our lives and fight or flee to minimize our pain.

Instead of deciding to end an unhealthy relationship and open up to a better one, we may stay and either …

The Gifts of Empathy: We’re Not Alone with What We’re Feeling

By Nicholas Montemarano

“In separateness lies the world’s great misery, in compassion lies the world’s true strength.” ~Buddha

When asked why I write fiction, I used to say, “Because I enjoy writing and revising sentences” or “Because I like practicing an art I’ll never perfect” or “Because I love to read.” All those reasons remain true, but my answer has changed.

The most important reason I write stories, and read them, is to practice empathy.

Strange how we often feel empathy more easily for fictional characters than for real people. One reason is that sometimes we get to know fictional characters more deeply …

Lessons from Regret: The Time is Now

By Razwana Wahid

“Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” ~Unknown

“Six weeks ago the doctors told me he had six weeks to live. I don’t think he is going to survive the night.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?” I whimpered, my voice barely above a whisper. ‘We don’t have any time left.”

I didn’t think that as a 19 year old, seeing my father die in a hospital was going to be something I would experience. Wasn’t he meant to grow old and grey, with me taking care of him?

Nevertheless, in the early hours of the …

10 Happiness Tips for People Who Have Been Hurt

By Lori Deschene

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” ~Unknown

Maybe someone hurt you physically or emotionally. Maybe you’ve survived something else traumatic—a natural disaster, a fire, an armed robbery. Or maybe you’ve just come out of a trying situation, and though you know you’ll eventually recover, you still feel pain that seems unbearable.

Whatever the case may be, you’ve been scarred and you carry it with you through many of your days.

Most of us can relate on some level to that feeling. Even people who excel at taking personal responsibility have at least one story of having been hurt. Though some …

Making It Through Pain That Seems to Never End

By Bobbi Emel

“Feelings are real and legitimate.” ~Unknown

I’ve been thinking about pain lately.

It’s come up for me more now since my sister, Susie, has been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis.

Susie and I are close in age—just 15 months separate us—and close in friendship and love. So I worry about her.

She’s an electrician and needs to be able to use her hands on a daily basis for wiring, splicing, drilling, and all of the other myriad things electricians do.

But, of course, her hands are right where the arthritis has chosen to reside currently.

She told me that some days …

Getting to the Root of Pain to Work Through It and Be Happy

By Melinda Gonzalez

“The secret of joy is the mastery of pain” ~Anais Nin

I come from a family of runners. They run from pain, emotions, and uncomfortable feelings.

My mom was 17 when she moved to Texas to get away from her overbearing mother. She couldn’t deal with the pain of never being enough for her parents or herself. She left her parents, extended family, and friends behind in Mississippi without a second glance.

A recovering anorexic, she was looking for something, anything that would ease the pain and prove she was okay.

My father arrived in Texas in his …

Finding Peace and Joy When Dealing with Pain and Loss

By Anonymous

“Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.” ~Richard Bach

There are times when nothing seems to move in the right direction. We either feel stuck or lost in chaos and confusion. Days follow nights as pages on the calendar turn into months, but you remain at the same place.

A few years back I suffered a miscarriage in the eighth month of pregnancy. I lost my baby and my dreams of motherhood. In the deep void I experienced both physical pain and mental agony.

At such times despite your efforts, the situation turns from bad to …

Surviving and Thriving: 3 Lessons About Dealing with Hard Times

By Suzanne Raga

“Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.” ~Unknown

Lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV and massive machines, I seriously considered the possibility that I was having a nightmare. Everything felt so surreal.

At 22 years old, my life was full of promise and potential. I had recently graduated from college and it was a time of beginnings. I was living in Manhattan and had begun working in music publishing.

I had no idea that a late night trip to the emergency room due to a rapid heart rate would result in a weeklong hospitalization.

When …

5 Tips to Forgive Instead of Letting Anger Control Your Life

By Aly Caracciolo

“If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” ~Ajahn Chah

I made it my New Year’s resolution to forgive someone for his past actions. Unfortunately, he’s not here to know.

My dad passed away from cancer last September. There are times I miss him a lot; other times, it’s nice to have peace in my life.

We never got along. My mother and others told me it was because we were too much alike, but I knew that was not the case.

That’s …

Recovering from a Difficult Childhood: How to Reclaim Yourself

By Katherine Mayfield

“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

Recently, I had one of those flashes of insight that burn away the illusions I learned as a child in a dysfunctional family and help me see myself in a new light. I saw through an invisible belief that I’ve held for a very long time—the belief that I am not in control of my life.

Standing in line in the grocery store and twiddling my thumbs, my monkey mind ran through the list of what I could be …