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5 Questions That Will Help You Focus On What Matters

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“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” ~Mary Oliver

Let’s get things done.

If you’ve ever read any books or articles about productivity, you’ve heard this phrase. It’s one I used and made a part of my life for a long time. More recently, I’ve discovered there’s a better and more disciplined way to work and to live.

It’s called essentialism, and it means getting more of the right things done.

According to Greg McKeown, author of Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, an essentialist removes the trivial and focuses …

How To Let Go Of Self-Doubt and Find Long-Lasting Happiness

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“It’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit.  Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same.”  ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

Have you ever let your doubts get in the way of feeling happy?

I have.

I left my soul-sucking corporate job to live my dream, teaching yoga in Thailand.

I was the happiest woman on earth—or was I?

It looked that way from the outside. But each time I opened my mouth to teach a class, …

When Your Dream Dies and You’re Not Sure What to Do Next

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“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

My wake-up call came at a friend’s wedding about seven years ago. Somebody asked me what I did for a living, and I answered truthfully: I’m a singer in a rock band. She thought it was cool, but I went into a rant about why it wasn’t.

“Creative work is definitely more perspiration than inspiration. The constant travelling and playing late night gigs is exhausting. The ‘business’ side of ‘music business’ is a joke,” I fumed.

On and on I went. As …

Stop Living on Autopilot: 5 Ways to Live an Amazing Life

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“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” ~ Stephen Covey

I used to be a zombie.

I don’t mean that I died and was brought back to life; I mean I used to live on autopilot. Diligently doing the right thing.

Following one opportunity to the next, onward and upward.

Until I found myself boxed into a cubicle, earning a six-figure income while my soul slowly died.

I didn’t even realize it. I just thought this was what people did.

Everyone around me was the same. They weren’t happy, but like …

Breaking Free from the Pain of Heartbreak

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“Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.” ~Unknown

Heartbreak. I have never felt anything as torturous.

It’s been just over a year since my first real heartbreak, and finally, after more pain and tears than I can describe, I have started to move on.

The loss of a love you believed to be true can leave you feeling shattered. No matter how independent you believed you were, and how many positive things everyone else believes about you, you may feel like the better half of everything you know has …

Let Go of Who You Think Should Be and Become Who You Want to Be

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“Do not become a stranger to yourself by blending in with everyone else.” ~Dodinsky

I spent many decades of my life trying to be person I was expected to be.

It was partly the kind of expectations our parents impose on us, but also those from society, combined with the worst ones of all: the expectations I had put on myself.

For example, the story of who “I should be” had told me that:

  • I had to be a hard worker, a great student, and an overachiever.
  • I had to be responsible.
  • I had to be serious.
  • I had to
…

The Key to Loving Yourself, Other People, and Life

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“Has it ever occurred to you that you can only love when you are alone?” ~Anthony De Mello

I was sitting in my therapist’s waiting room when I looked over at an assortment of books sitting on the coffee table. One caught my attention right away: The Way to Love, by Anthony de Mello.

“This looks like something I should read right about now.” I giggled a little with that thought.

I was, after all, sitting in a psychotherapist’s waiting room because he was the only thing keeping me from a nervous breakdown. My marriage was falling apart and …

10 Steps to Access Your Goodness and Change Your Life

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“Goodness is the only investment that never fails.” ~Henry David Thoreau 

A few years ago I found myself on the floor of my apartment with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s, feeling miserable.

In fact, I had felt that way for a while. My four-year relationship had collapsed, work was losing its meaning, and I felt deeply misunderstood, unloved, and lonely. Money was tight; I was overweight, lethargic, and confused; and my future seemed blurry.

But then, something changed.

I decided to shift my perspective and see what my life would be like if I stopped beating myself up over “…

Why Positive Thinking Didn’t Work for Me

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“See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort.” ~Dalai Lama

I was a perfectionist growing up, always trying to bang my flawed round-shaped self into a perfect square hole that couldn’t possibly contain me.

In my early twenties, I decided to focus on personal development—a positive thing, I assumed.

I figured if I worked on improving a little every day and nurturing a positive mindset, I’d feel a lot better about myself than I did when I got down on myself for my flaws. 

I didn’t take into consideration that I might become a perfectionist about positivity.

That …

Accepting the Loss of a Loved One and Finding Peace Again

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“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ~Anais Nin

Meaningful relationships are crucial to our happiness. We need the human bond to feel connected and joyful, and we enjoy life much more when we share it with people we love.

There are times, however, when we are forcefully separated from our loved ones. Coping with loss can be one of the most difficult things we ever have to do. Everyone copes …

Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships and Rediscovering Yourself

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“I am leaving you for me. Whether I am incomplete or you are incomplete is irrelevant. Relationships can only be built with two wholes. I am leaving you to continue to explore myself: the steep, winding paths in my soul, the red, pulsing chambers of my heart. I hope you will do the same. Thank you for all the light and laughter that we have shared. I wish you a profound encounter with yourself.” ~ Peter Schaller

A few months back I was someone you could easily walk all over. I was afraid to let go of friendships because I …

52 Ways to Tell Someone You Love and Appreciate Them

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“The most important thing in this world is to learn to give out love and let it come in.” ~Morrie Schwartz

As a child, I never heard the phrase “I love you.” Now, I hear people say it all the time—at the end of phone calls and whenever parting ways.

When I moved away from my hometown of Adelaide, South Australia, twenty years ago, I noticed how much less I felt loved interstate in Melbourne, Victoria. Even though I didn’t hear “I love you” when I was in Adelaide, somehow I knew people cared.

Soon after I arrived here, I …

Getting Real in a World of Fake

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“Nobody wants to be lonely. Everybody wants to belong to a group. The crowd is essential for the false self to exist. The moment it is lonely you start freaking out. Particularly in the West they have not discovered a methodology to uncover the real. To be an individual is the greatest courage. It does not matter that the whole world is against me. What matters is that my experience is valid. Don’t die before realizing your authentic self.” ~ Osho

Authenticity. Courage. Vulnerability. We hear these words so often they’ve become a part of our daily language. But how …

4 Questions to Ask Yourself to Create a Truly Rich and Meaningful Life

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“Don’t miss all the beautiful colors of the rainbow looking for that pot of gold.” ~Unknown

It’s frustrating, isn’t it?

Stumbling through life without a clear sense of direction. Wondering day after day if it’s ever going to get better.

After all, perpetual joy and a meaningful life are only for the rich and famous. The idea of fulfilment seems so far-fetched given the mundaneness of an ordinary day.

But you know that anything is possible, right?

Could it be that with a little thought, the day will come when you’ll enjoy the colors of the rainbow, regardless of whether …

5 Beliefs About Happiness That Make Us Unhappy

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“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.” ~Anthony de Mello

Do you believe in soul mates?

I did. I also believed that the only way to be blissfully happy was to be with mine.

At a New Year party, I finally found her. As we chatted and danced through the evening, we fell in love. It seemed perfect.

Life, however, had other plans. Soon after, she moved to another city. I never saw her again but continued …

How to Stop Overthinking and Start Living: 10 Helpful Tips

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“Thinking has, many a time, made me sad, darling; but doing never did in all my life….My precept is, do something, my sister, do good if you can; but at any rate, do something.” ~Elizabeth Gaskell

Problems. We all face them.

Some are frivolous; some are life changing. Some force us to draw from within us our greatest mental potential. Many cause nothing more than stress.

Whatever issues life presents us, whether small or big, we think about them.

We think about what to do, what not to do, and what would be “best” for us and for everyone around …

Family Isn’t Always Forever: When It’s Time to Say Goodbye

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“Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.” ~Edna Buchanan

A few years ago I ended all contact with my parents, and I have not seen or spoken to them since then.

The truth is I am actually okay with that. Initially, I thought I was going to lose my mind. I had been brought up to believe that family comes first. Children should respect and take care of their parents. Family should—and will—always be there for each other.

Those beliefs were based on love, and I cherished them.

I wanted so much to feel that connection—that unconditional love those …

How To Move Forward When You Feel Paralyzed by Uncertainty

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“When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.” ~Eckhart Tolle

A woman in a relationship that is breaking her spirit might remain there for fear of what leaving will bring.

She doesn’t know if she will find another to care for her, and having a warm body is better than having no one. The uncertainty about whether or not she will survive that decision, and be happier for it, keeps her there.

I know the harsh clutches of uncertainty all too well. It wasn’t long ago that I waffled and wavered about every decision I …

10 Things to Stop Doing If You Want to Be Happy

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“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.” ~Dale Carnegie

There was a time when I didn’t think I could ever be happy.

I felt alone. I felt confused. And I felt overwhelmed.

Luckily, that all began to change when I started looking inside. I discovered how I was the cause of my unhappiness.

And I discovered what stood between me and enjoying life.

Here are ten of the things I discovered:

1. Neglecting

…

5 Vital Lessons for People Who Feel Like They’re Not Good Enough

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“What if I fall? Oh, my darling, what if you fly?” ~Erin Hanson

Like most people, my life has had its share of ups and downs.

My household growing up could be best described as a roller coaster. There were times of excitement and happiness, then there was the plummeting into darkness, shame, and self-loathing.

Throughout my childhood and adolescence, I felt that I was a mistake, unloved, and unwanted by my father. His mood swings and verbal abuse would come raging like a storm without any warning, and without any end in sight.

He often told me that I …