Posts tagged with “wisdom”
Scared to Try: Moving Beyond the Paralysis of Perfectionism
“Fear is inevitable, I have to accept that, but I cannot allow it to paralyze me.” ~Isabel Allende
I am a recovering perfectionist.
Up until now, this is the only way I’ve known how to live. The thrilling burn of perfection invaded every aspect of my life to the point that I became paralyzed by fear. If I couldn’t do it right, I didn’t want to do it at all.
When I was younger, I allowed the desire for perfection to control all of my actions. In music, if I couldn’t sit first chair, I didn’t want to play …
Is Optimism Hard-Wired? 6 Ways to See the Glass as Half Full
“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” ~Mary Engelbreit
My best friend called me on the phone last night. Of course, it’s not unusual to get a call from your best friend. But this call was one that really got me thinking about myself and the way I view life.
Kent has been my best friend since we were eleven years old. We met during summer camp the year after his dad died. We didn’t even like each other at first, as he was a tall, gangly geek …
4 Powerful Questions to Free You from the Daze of Fear and Inaction
“The lives we lead have everything to do with the questions we ask ourselves.” ~Lori Deschene
You lay in bed night after night, tossing and turning, eager to push forward but unable to shake off the onslaught of what-ifs.
What if I’m making a huge mistake? What if I fail utterly and miserably? What if I’m overestimating my ability to go through with this? What-if…? What-if…?
Yet, no matter how crazy your anxiety and fears seem right now, you can snap out of it and make that new start you so desperately desire.
How do I know?
Let me …
8 Ways to Discover Your Passion and Live a Life You Love
“Don’t worry about what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman
I didn’t spend two years and $100,000 for a master’s degree in counseling from an Ivy League university so that I could be miserable and hate my life fifty hours a week, but that’s what happened.
After a few years in the trenches of the non-profit world, my job had become so emotionally draining that it was taking a vicious toll on my health and causing gripping anxiety attacks. I …
People We Don’t Like: When Others Push Our Buttons
I have a confession to make: there’s someone I know who I really don’t like.
I know this isn’t exactly front-page news. It’s not like I’m the first person to ever dislike someone else. But this situation has brought me face to face with all my strongest relationship triggers.
I find it incredibly difficult to do all the things I’ve written about when it comes to this person. Let’s call him Harry. (I’ve never in my life met a single person named Harry, but let’s just roll with it.)
I regularly find myself wanting to judge Harry before giving him …
Why We Need to Accept That Some People Just Won’t Like Us
“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” ~Maya Angelou
I’ve been a world-class worrier about what other people would think about me for a long time.
The clothes, the hair, the shoes. The books I read, the movies I liked, the music I listened to. The hobbies, the people I hung out with. The things I liked and the things I disliked.
They all got scrutinized under the “am I doing the right thing?” filter.
Am I being exactly the right amount of cool? Am I being reasonable and responsible? …
Overcoming the Fear of Taking a Risk: Just Do It
“Fear is inevitable, I have to accept that, but I cannot allow it to paralyze me.” ~Isabelle Allende
About eight months ago I hitched a ride to Buenos Aires, Argentina via a one way ticket with the love of my life. It wasn’t as easy as it sounds. I wasn’t throwing things in my suitcase and cashing out my bank account while kissing friends and family goodbye, sayin’ “See ya!”
My boyfriend and I were recent graduates at wits end suffering economic woes with no place to go. We had always wanted to go abroad to teach English, but weren’t …
When Your Inner Critic Stifles Your Creativity: 4 Helpful Truths
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” ~Steve Furtick
We live in an artistically enriched country. The world is already full of all kinds of music, so much art, and so many books. With the Internet, you can experience art’s many forms at the click of a mouse.
In my heart, I am an artist. Ever since I was a young girl, I have loved creating artwork. Writing stories, drawing illustrations, playing the piano, painting, sculpting…
The unfortunate thing is that I am paralyzed—not in the …
A Powerful Lesson in Self-Compassion: Are You Allergic to Honey?
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~Dalai Lama
When things don’t go as planned, is your go-to explanation that it’s because you did something wrong, or because there’s something wrong with you? For many people, self-compassion is a real challenge.
Most of us want to be kinder to ourselves, but our self-critical, perfectionistic patterns are often well-established, and it’s hard to know how to interrupt them.
When I was in graduate school, I was driving home from school one evening when I noticed that my car was overheating. …
Find the Courage to Be You: 4 Ways To Live Authentically
“Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around.” ~Henry David Thoreau
Authenticity is a buzzword these days. We hear all kinds of advice on how to live it, breathe it, and get more of it. Maybe this is because we are actually drowning in inauthenticity.
Advertising bombards us with promises of bigger, better, faster, and easier. But the dream life of effortless comfort and problems that fix themselves is just a fantasy, a running away from the truth of life:
Everything is impermanent.
Right now, at this moment, this life is all we have.
More and more people …
4 Questions to Turn Your Anger Around and Forgive
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and realize that prisoner was you.” ~Lewis B. Smedes
For a long time, I had a stressful relationship with my dad. We had a falling out after I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. He didn’t understand what I was going through in regards to eating and body image, and I tried to push him out, so we stopped talking.
Somewhere inside of me, I had built up anger that was directed at him and I just couldn’t bring myself to forgive him or let go. And he was just clueless, not knowing …
When You Don’t Get What You Want Something Better May Be Coming
“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” ~Dalai Lama
While every adoption story is different, they all start with a loss. Our loss turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to us.
I’ve had two migraines in my life. Both were when I was battling infertility and in a war with my body. My brain had had enough apparently.
The first migraine was on my way to work one day (different story), and the second was before a dinner party. My friend was inviting her close friends over to make …
7 Steps to Prevent Getting Stuck in an Emotion
“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ~Anais Nin
I bought an ice cream cake for my family to thank them for giving me the time and space to write the first draft of my novel. My husband took photos. I selected my favorite shot as the wallpaper on my computer to remind me of this milestone.
I was happy and joyous for a week. The second week I fell into …
Listen Instead of Correcting Others: What We Gain and Give
“When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.” ~Wayne Dyer
I have a tendency to want to show off what I know, and in the worst cases, correct other people.
Instead of listening and connecting I unconsciously try to sell to others an image of myself that I wish to project. Some part of me believes that if people are impressed with me then they’ll like me and be interested in my knowledge and point of view.
In this way I fall into the trap of constructing the false self. This is the person I wish …
Don’t Control Anger, Control Yourself
“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” ~Ambrose Bierce
I once had a much-cherished friend who meant the world to me. The problem was that we were both short-tempered individuals and the word patience was fictional to both of us.
There is a thin line separates right from wrong and when one is blinded by anger; it can be near impossible to see this line.
Invariably, my friend and I kept crossing it and ended up destroying what was one of the most beautiful bonds anybody could ever have.
One day …
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
