Posts tagged with “worry”
Why Uncertainty Isn’t So Bad and How to Embrace It
“Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible.” ~Mandy Hale
Sitting in the auditorium during orientation, I listened to various deans, distinguished alumni, and student leaders drone on about the rigors of earning a law degree.
There were obligatory mentions of not everyone making it to graduation (or even the end of the first week) and of the intense strain on personal relationships.
But the message I remembered most clearly was about uncertainty.
“You better get comfortable with gray areas. And fast. Because the legal field is not a place …
Surrendering to Things We Can’t Control or Change
“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” ~Joan Borysenko
I’ve always sped through life. I’ve always been ready to take on the next moment, that new place, make a new memory.
I’m an obsessive planner. I love control. Seriously, I love the feeling of researching and executing a plan flawlessly. It makes me feel like it’s all worth something, or it gives my life meaning. Nothing satisfies me more than being able to check that next “life goal” off the multiple checklists I create.
This idea of getting to the next place and achieving as …
6 Mindful Habits to Help You Stop Worrying and Start Loving Yourself
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow. It only saps today of its joy.” ~Leo Buscaglia
We all want to be happy, but sometimes we hold ourselves back from that possibility. It can be a sad but liberating truth. We all have that voice inside our head. You know the one I’m talking about. Sometimes we listen even when we know we shouldn’t.
That voice is most often the source of our own self-sabotage. That voice can be the cause of our own misery.
I know because I used to listen to this voice—every single day, all the time. …
Stop Worrying About What Other People Think and Be Yourself
“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” ~Oscar Wilde
Confession: I’m a master wallflower.
In high school, a friend and I decided to skip our dreary computer class and roam the halls instead. The following day, our crabby teacher immediately reprimanded my friend for skipping class. I sat directly next to her, giggling and rubbing it in her face.
The teacher didn’t even know my name, let alone that I had skipped his class the previous day. I rejoiced in my anonymity thinking, “It pays to be unknown.”
To an extent, it was true. My friend was so disruptive and …
How to Get Out of Your Own Way and Let Your Life Shine
“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.” ~Hafiz of Shiraz
I have been on a quest to be happy for as long as I can remember.
I thought I had looked everywhere. I tried relationships, work, adventure travels, and a life filled with friends and activity, but still I felt anxious. I was disenchanted with life. Years of therapy attempting to work out my problems didn’t give me the sense of peace I somehow thought was possible.
I knew there had to be more, and I …
Worrying About the Future: On Trusting in Uncertainty
“Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.” ~Eckhart Tolle
The other day my good friend from back home called me hysterically crying. She felt certain she just blew a second job interview, and she’d hit a breaking point.
She’d been struggling for months, just barely paying her bills and wondering if she could afford to keep her apartment.
Every purchase had become an exercise in extreme deliberation. In fact, I’m fairly certain that when I visited last, I saw her stressing in the grocery store about whether she really needed that box of Twinkies that beckoned from …
How to Find Clarity When You’re Confused About What to Do
“Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.” ~Cicero
You know that state of confusion where you feel really unsure about what to do—you’re talking about it with all of your friends, making lists, weighing options, lying awake all night?
As confused and unsure as you may feel in those moments, you’re not. You have much more clarity than you think.
Re-read that last line again. You have a lot more clarity than you think. You see, clarity is what you are. It’s what you’re born with, it’s your true nature, and it’s what is always there underneath the …
6 Ways Your Mind Tries to Control Your Life
“I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Our mind is a funny thing. On the one hand, it’s awesome. But on the other, it can pulverize us more quickly and ruthlessly than anything else.
Our mind is inherently scared. That’s its job, to be cautious—to keep us alive, to have us cross roads safely and not get eaten by a lion. But left unchecked, it can become paralyzed with fear and meaner than a cornered crocodile.
And it’s incredibly bossy.
The mind’s tendency to want to control is so strong …
We Have the Strength to Move Through Pain and Uncertainty
“Suffering is not caused by pain but by resisting pain.” ~Unknown
Earlier this year our beloved puppy got sick. Not just a poorly tummy kind of sick, but proper, life-threatening, blood transfusion-requiring sick. Suddenly. Unexpectedly. She was at death’s door.
The vet was talking to us in quiet and kindly tones. Using words like “grave.”
Her illness was apparently unusual in a dog her age. Her prognosis was uncertain. She would require months of treatment that may or may not work. We were to watch her for signs of deterioration. Note changes in her appetite and energy levels.
And then …
A Simple but Powerful Way to Kick the Worry Habit
“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.” ~Swedish proverb
I’m a worrier by nature, and I come by it honestly.
My mother was afraid to cross bridges and ride in elevators, boats, and airplanes. Her mother died of cancer at the age of forty, and my mother spent many years—including those of my childhood—thinking every sniffle, fever, or headache might be the start of something fatal.
Although I didn’t realize it at the time, growing up with a steady dose of anxiety, like an invisible intravenous drip, had its effect on my developing mind.
I was an introverted, …
Learning to Enjoy the Process and Stop Worrying About the Outcome
“Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you” ~John De Paula
Remember the Tasmanian Devil?
That crazed Loony Tunes cartoon character spinning out of control, crashing into everything in his path? Arriving in a blur. Leaving chaos in its wake.
That was pretty much me and my approach to “living my passion.”
This is hard to write but here goes (deep breath)…
Not too long ago I was seriously trying to accomplish all of these things at the same time:
- Play in a rock and roll band of middle aged men living in New
Find Peace Today: Stop Worrying About What You Might Lose
“The whole life of a man is but a point in time; let us enjoy it.” ~ Plutarch
Take a moment to think about the last time you stared up into a clear night sky, one that was gorged with stars and seemed to go on forever—one where the longer you stared, the more depth appeared.
How did you feel in that moment? Did you feel calm? Scared? Alone? Completely content? Did you wish you could stay in that moment forever?
Skies like that give me an incredible sense of peace and remind me to breathe deeply and contemplate how …
Why Enthusiasm Trumps Worrying When It Comes to Reaching Goals
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow. It only saps today of its joy.” ~Leo Buscaglia
They say the greatest joy in life is to be able to live your passion every day, and I only had to look to my teens to remember that what I had always enjoyed doing most—working out. That’s where I wanted to go in life.
Held hostage by worries about the future, status, and money, I decided to head on a different path. I did well in college, graduating with a business degree and a double major in finance and accounting.
A few years …
7 Tips to Challenge Perfectionism: Enjoy More and Worry Less
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor.” ~Anne Lamott
I originally planned to write this post a month ago. The topic was interesting, and it was one that I was sure most people could relate to. I mean, who hasn’t wrestled with the issue of perfectionism at some point?
One after another, notions and examples of perfectionism flowed steadily from my mind onto my notepad. And when I ran those ideas by a few friends, each of them shared their own stories about how the need to be perfect at something had negatively affected their lives.
Simply put, there was …
When You Feel Terrified: Come Out of the Panic Zone
“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” ~Pema Chodron
Are you as scared as I am?
I’m terrified.
I’m not talking horror movie terrified either. This isn’t the kind of scared where you jump, but then realize it’s just your friend who’s surprised you. This isn’t even the kind of scared when you realize you left your iPhone in a public bathroom.
This is the kind of scared where your gut churns and churns. You feel shaky, hungry, and out of sorts. It’s a visceral, palpable fear.
Who’s Afraid Of the Big Bad… ?
You’re probably …
4 Ways to Remain Centered Amid All of Life’s Chaos
“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” ~Joan Borysenko
Right now I’m in a tight squeeze. I’m in the process of making some big changes, and it’s bringing a lot of chaos, uncertainty, insecurities, and fears into my life, as changes will do.
One of my deepest desires is to be able to look chaos in any form, of any magnitude, square in the eye, and levitate up to the next level of not letting any of the anarchy affect my inner homeostasis. Whatever the drama—work, family, friends, worldly, financial, school, natural disasters—I don’t …
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