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Category “change & challenges”

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Solve Your Problems and Set Yourself Free with Perceptual Language

“Use what language you will, you can never say anything but what you are.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Imagine using a new language that prevents you from blaming others, being reactive, manipulating, fearing anything in the outside world, needing social approval, being offended by others, and being controlled or controlling others.… Read More

Thinking

3 Tiny Phrases That Can Help You Solve Big Problems

“At any given moment, you have the power to say: This is not how the story is going to end.” ~Chris Mason Miller

I was faced with an impossible problem, so like all the great thinkers throughout history, I shut myself in the bathroom and vowed not to come out until I had solved the problem.… Read More

Robby the Robot

A Technique to Reach Your Goals Faster Without Struggling

“Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and focus on what could go right.” ~Unknown

I used to think that getting to a goal only required tangible action. It was a simple equation:

  • Study hard in high school = getting admission to a good university.
  • Or, diet + exercise = losing weight.
Read More
Rejected

How to Overcome the Pain of Rejection

“Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself.” ~Sonya Parker 

Hearing this word probably makes you think of not being good enough or not reaching certain standards. As unpleasant as it is, rejection is part of life, and my life is no exception.… Read More

River Man

How to Turn Pain into Strength and Wisdom

“The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.” ~Unknown

Some would say that when it rains, it pours—a fitting statement for the events that have recently taken place in my life.

In mid-September, my life took an unexpected turn. My wife, to whom I had been married for only four months (having been together for six years prior), had been acting strangely toward me.… Read More

Feeling Blue

The Best Way to Help Someone Who’s Grieving (Including Yourself)

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have—life itself.” ~Walter Anderson

Yesterday marked the second anniversary of my step mum passing away.… Read More

Grieving

The Stage of Grief You’ve Never Heard of But May Be Stuck In

“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ~Anais Nin

Since I was a little girl I have believed in the power of wishes.… Read More

Healing

How Forgiveness Enables Us to Stop Hurting Ourselves

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and realize that prisoner was you.” ~Lewis B. Smedes

I was planning a seminar event with one of my good friends. (Let’s call her “Randi.”) It was a great match; she had event planning and design expertise, and great energy in front of an audience.… Read More

Purple Sky

6 Secrets to Moving On From Serious Struggles

“Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.” ~Unknown

People who knew me ten years ago would probably expect me to be dead now. They wouldn’t expect me to have escaped my problems. They wouldn’t expect me to have stopped drinking, drugging, taking overdoses, and cutting my arms.… Read More

Sunrise Acrobatics

Overcoming Excuses and Believing in What You Can Do

“Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe.” ~Mark Victor Hansen

I still remember how I felt crossing the finish line after my first 10K race. I was elated. I felt like I could conquer anything.

I realize that for all you marathon runners, 10K may not seem like a big deal.… Read More

Arms Up

Embracing Change When It Challenges Your Identity

“The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.” ~Ralph Blum

During the worst years of my life, yoga saved me.

My life was a wreck. I was working seventy to eighty hours a week at a job that took everything from me and made me a monster.… Read More

Sad and alone

Dealing with Bullies and Hurtful People: 4 Coping Techniques

“If you can’t change the circumstances, change your perspective.” ~Unknown

I went to boarding school at the age of nine, and I soon became the victim of bullies. I was pathologically shy, very sensitive, and cried easily. I was also clever, bad at sports, and wore glasses.

We weren’t allowed many toys, but I had three frogs, made of shiny brightly colored material, and stuffed with wheat.… Read More

Let Go

Let Go of Regret by Making a Promise to Yourself

“Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” ~Unknown

Regret can be such a paralyzing emotion, yet it is also universal. At some point in our lives, in one way or another, we each wrestle with regret.

Regret seems to rear its ugly head most when it comes to relationships.… Read More

Weathering the Storm

Now is Not Forever: Weathering Uncomfortable Feelings

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” ~Alan Watts

Recently, I found myself ruminating about a difficult situation at my new workplace. Considering my high-flying, achievement-oriented personality, the recipe for my malcontent was predictable: a supervisor had disagreed with me, and I left work that day feeling melodramatic and like I wanted to quit… that day.… Read More

Standing at the Shore

How to Get to the Shore When You’re Drowning in Pain

“The intensity of the pain depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Pain can feel like a dark cave with no light to help us find our way out. Or an ocean with waves so big we feel like we can’t ever swim to the shore.… Read More

Feeling Down

Overcoming the Painful Desires and Beliefs That Feed Addiction

“Taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them.” ~Byron Katie

I had spent five horrible years in and out of rehabs and support groups for my substance use problems. Along the way, there were a few periods where I cleaned up for six months, eight months, and almost a whole year one time, but nothing seemed to stick.… Read More

Happy

Moving Beyond Pain to Find Happiness and Meaning

“When something bad happens you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.” ~ Unknown

Most of us have experienced a day or event in our life that changes us forever.

I remember that day vividly and it still invokes incredible pain in my heart.… Read More

The Traveler

Accepting Imperfection and Making Peace with Our “Piece in Progress”

“Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.” ~Unknown

I’m back in New York City after touring for the last five years as a global musical scientist.

My international and domestic sonic experiments took me all over the world to exotic lands and faraway locales.… Read More

Free

Releasing Negative Beliefs: How Letting Go Sets Us Free

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” ~Andre Gide

I have walked on water.

The frozen wasteland known as Chicago had kept me inside, wary of the intense cold that was breaking records that particularly frigid winter. But after interminable snow days, I began to feel like a caged animal that needed to break free.… Read More

Smiling with Arms Wide Open

You’re One Moment Away from Being Who You Want to Be

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” ~Maria Robinson

Two years ago, I was in a meeting room, Monday morning, just before nine.  I remember sipping on my second coffee of the day and swallowing yawns as I waited for everyone to show.… Read More

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