“It ain’t what they call you. It’s what you answer to.” ~W.C. Fields
For much of my life, I have struggled against the after effects of unresolved childhood trauma.
For years, I didn’t even know how much of an issue it was. I thought it was completely normal to expect the worst or avoid intimacy like the plague.… Read More
“Maybe it’s not about the happy ending. Maybe it’s about the story.” ~Unknown
For the longest ever time, I had no idea what my own story was.
Desperately uncomfortable in my skin as a child, I was equal parts pathologically shy with strangers and fearless with my sisters and brother, running wild over the boulder-strewn southern California land during summers.… Read More
Almost everyone knows someone who has struggled or is struggling with addiction, and many of us are personally affected.
One hundred people die every day from overdoses—but it’s not just drugs or alcohol I’m referring to. We struggle with addictions to food, gambling, pornography, and even technology.
As a former bulimic, I know all too well how easy it is to lose yourself in a compulsive, destructive behavior when you’re lost, depressed, or trying to escape from the seemingly irrepressible ghosts of past trauma.… Read More
“The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom.” ~Tara Brach
I was in the heart of my Ph.D. program when I received the diagnoses: OCD, depression, and binge eating disorder.
It explained a lot, of course. All those years of anxiety, self-doubt, and intrusive thoughts were not normal after all.… Read More
“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” ~Tom Robbins
Have you ever finally gotten something you longed for only to find that things didn’t work out as expected?
I know I have.
I firmly believed that having a dog was the answer to some of my desires, such as having more meaning in my life and receiving love on demand from another life.… Read More
“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
I’ve called it my “Epiphany Bubble,” and it might be hard to believe, but it’s my true experience.
I stood on the lawn of our city’s hospital.… Read More
“I define depression as a comparison of your current reality to a fantasy about how you wish your life would be.” ~Dr. John Demartini
I always wanted to do things “right.” I was the little kid at the front of the room, raising her hand for every question. I was great at pushing myself to succeed and please.… Read More
“It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings.” ~Dale Carnegie
We’ve all felt like we’re drowning in mud.
You feel stuck, worthless, and confused.
You want to move. You should. You have to. But you can’t.
And then it evolves into anxiety, fear, and overwhelm.… Read More
“F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.” ~Zig Ziglar
No matter how old I get, no matter how experienced I become, ending a relationship is agonizing.
It represents a loss, and losses hurt.
Deep down, I know if I go through with it, I’ll feel freer—well, not right away, but in a little while anyway—but I’d rather crawl under a rock and ignore the whole thing.… Read More
“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” ~Charles Dickens
When I was seven years old, my parents had me take an IQ test for an application to a private school near our new home.
I vaguely remember sitting with the proctor, answering question after question about vocabulary and spatial recognition.… Read More
“If you let go a little you will have a little happiness. If you let go a lot you will have a lot of happiness. If you let go completely you will be free.” ~Ajahn Chah
I’m a smart woman. And being smart gets me in trouble. I know how to cross my “T’s” and dot my “I’s”—to prepare for what might come.… Read More
“Life is actually really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” ~Confucius
There were times when I felt that my thoughts had complete control over my life. I could convince myself of anything, really. My thoughts would rarely lift me up and, instead, convince me I would fail.
I would fail at relationships.… Read More
“Eventually you will come to realize that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” ~Gary Zukav
Last year I developed some unexplained symptoms that could be likened to IBS, Chron’s disease, or even morning sickness (although I wasn’t pregnant, so there was no promise of a baby to make it all worth it).… Read More
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and realize that prisoner was you.” ~Lewis B. Smedes
Have you ever tried to forgive someone who hurt you, and despite your best efforts, it was just too hard? And you beat yourself up because you were not able to forgive, and the pain was still there?… Read More
“Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected, or disliked stop you from being yourself.” ~Sonya Parker
For years I struggled with a nagging feeling of guilt. This was not for actual things I did, but just a feeling that anytime something went wrong in my life, it was somehow my fault.… Read More
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.” ~Steve Jobs
A week ago a woman I loved died. She was a member of my family and had been dying for a while from bone cancer, so her death did not come as a surprise.… Read More
“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” ~Steve Maraboli
While going through some major life changes, I am finally learning to let go. I am learning to relinquish control. And I am learning that everything will be okay in the end.
I am in the middle of my first pregnancy.… Read More
“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.” ~Charles H. Spurgeon
There’s nothing like a real health emergency for putting insignificant worries into perspective.
By the time I was pregnant the second time, I had left my struggles with anxiety largely behind me.… Read More
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when adults are afraid of the light.” ~Adapted from Plato
I was digging in my half-empty refrigerator one day, searching for leftovers, when my phone rang. I glared at it wondering who the hell had the nerve to interrupt my hunt for sustenance.… Read More