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Posts by Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others do the same. She recently created the Breaking Barriers to Self-Care eCourse to help people honor their needs—so they can feel their best, be their best, and live their best possible life. If you’re ready to start thriving instead of merely surviving, you can learn more and get instant access here.

Lori Deschene's Website

Limited Run “Be Here Now” Shirt Supporting Tiny Buddha Productions & Childhelp

If this seems like deja vu, it’s not just you! I am republishing this blog post because there are only a few hours left to grab a “Be here now” shirt.

As you may remember, I shared a post a couple months back about my desire to start writing and producing inspiring short films, in partnership with my fiancé Ehren Prudhel.

It was just after the New Year, and I knew the time was finally right to revisit both of our childhood dreams.

Over the past couple of months we’ve been hard at work writing, connecting with crewmembers, and …

Buddha Doodles Review and Book Giveaway – Whimsical Drawings with Deep Truths

Note: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen.

When I first found Molly Hahn’s Buddha Doodles a few years back, I knew I’d stumbled upon something special.

Her whimsical illustrations never failed to put a smile on my face, and they often came with just the message I needed to read on a given day.

I was even more enthralled when I learned about Molly’s background, and why she started Buddha Doodles.

Having endured a traumatic childhood, she began her meditative sketch practice as part of her healing process. And I, …

Help Bring Tiny Buddha Productions to Life

When I was a little girl, I could watch movies for hours on end.

I would lie underneath my blanket fort and get lost in The Neverending Story, The Princess Bride, and The Goonies—movies that bring the hero on a fantastic adventure far beyond the restrictive world they know.

My life felt small and limited, and not always bright or easy. Movies gave me an escape from that, and a sense of freedom within the expansiveness of my imagination.

As I got older, I gravitated toward mysteries and psychological thrillers—such as Identity, Memento, and Black

Limited Edition “Just Breathe” Shirt Supporting Project Happiness (Last Day!)

*Update: This campaign has ended. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for daily or weekly emails, and to learn about future shirt campaigns!”

Happy almost New Year, friends!

As you may remember, I originally launched a two-week shirt campaign, supporting the David Lynch Foundation, in November. Over 700 people ordered a shirt then, but many of you emailed asking me to relaunch the campaign, so I did! If you’d like to order a “Just Breathe” shirt, hoodie, or pullover, today is the last day to do so.

This time, a portion of the proceeds will go to the non-profit Project Happiness

Letting Go of Attachment: From A to Zen

“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” ~Dalai Lama

If there’s one thing we all have in common, it’s that we want to feel happy; and on the other side of that coin, we want to avoid hurting. Yet we consistently put ourselves in situations that set us up for pain.

We pin our happiness to people, circumstances, and things and hold onto them for dear life. We stress about the possibility of losing them when something seems amiss. Then we often get stuck in …

25 Powerful Acts of Love and Kindness

The holiday season has the potential to bring out the best in us. Though the days get shorter and colder, somehow our hearts get bigger and warmer.

Maybe it’s the thoughtfulness handwritten on Christmas cards, maybe it’s the focus on giving over receiving, or maybe it’s the anticipation of celebration with people we love.

For many, it’s the reminder of what’s important in life—not what we do, what we earn, or what we buy, but how we treat each other, how we help each other, and how we use our gifts to make the world a better place.

Yes, the …

Giveaway: Let It Go Coloring Book for Stress Relief

Update: The winners for this giveaway are:

  • Lyndsay G
  • Beth Casey
  • Marsha Lawrence
  • Claudia Menger
  • Teejayhanton

You can get a copy of Let It Go, Coloring and Activities to Awaken Your Mind and Relieve Stress on Amazon here.

When I was a kid, I could color for hours. I could be a little Type-A about it; if I went outside the lines, I would often rip out the page and throw it away, and I may even have yelled, “I hate coloring!” while cursing my imperfection.

But that was a lie—I loved it. So it was only a matter …

5 Beliefs That Hurt Your Relationships (And How to Let Them Go)

“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy.” ~Tony Robbins

“I’m not great at relationships.” This is something I used to say all the time, to others and myself.

I’d had quite a few unhealthy friendships that ended in dramatic showdowns when our combined issues proved toxic.

My romantic relationships weren’t any less volatile—largely because my deep-seated shame affected the type of men I attracted and compromised my ability to be there, with and for others.

But even after making significant progress with my insecurities and working through some painful experiences from my past, I realized I …

Take the Love Pledge (You Could Win a Copy of Tiny Buddha’s New Love Book)

Happy Thanksgiving to those of you who celebrate it! Today is a perfect day to take the Tiny Buddha love pledge if you haven’t already. Over 1,200 people have taken it over the last ten days.

I created this pledge to help us all be more loving, to others and ourselves. After you take the pledge by entering your email address here, you’ll be entered to win one of three free copies of Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges, which includes stories and daily activities to help us all give and receive more love.

Tiny efforts can make …

Adventures for Your Soul Book Giveaway: Live the Life of Your Dreams

UPDATE: The winners for this giveaway are:

  • Sarah Jane Vallente
  • Chandra Milliron

“Just like the characters of a movie, you are a character in the show called ‘Life.’ Are you in a starring role? Or are you a supporting actor?” ~Shannon Kaiser

Do you ever feel like could be doing more with your life? Like you’re holding yourself back in fear and not reaching your true potential? Maybe you don’t even know what you want; you just know what you don’t want, and yet you can’t seem to escape it.

I’ve been there quite a few times myself, and I’ve …

Limited Edition Tiny Buddha “Just Breathe” Shirt (Supporting the David Lynch Foundation)

*Update: This campaign has ended. Subscribe to Tiny Buddha for daily or weekly emails, and to learn about future shirt campaigns!”

Hi friends! For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Lori, the founder of Tiny Buddha.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been offering a limited edition “Just Breathe” shirt, and I’ve been excited to see the response from the community! The campaign ends this Sunday, so if you’d like to grab a shirt, this is your last opportunity to do so.

A portion of the proceeds will go to the David Lynch Foundation, a nonprofit that …

50 Questions That Will Help You Feel Grateful and Good About Life

“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~Melody Beattie

There’s very little that upsets me like feeling stuck and out of control. That’s exactly how I felt at the beginning of this year.

Things were going well in many areas of my life, but I was unhappy living in my boyfriend’s childhood home in a Bay Area suburb, after we’d spent years living in LA and traveling. Though I knew this was ideal for him, it just didn’t feel right for me,

And even if I could wrap my brain around …

7 Vital Choices for Happy Relationships

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ~Lao Tzu

A little over a decade ago I thought I was going to marry my college sweetheart and become a young bride, which made it all the more devastating when happily ever after didn’t pan out. When we broke up, I felt literally like I lost a limb, complete with phantom sensations of his hand in mine.

It didn’t take long for a dark guilt to bubble up—a constant festering reminder of all the mistakes I’d made. I was highly unstable and insecure back …

25 Loving, Supportive Things to Tell Yourself Today

“Identify one supportive phrase you wish you heard more growing up. Every time you pass by a mirror today, look at yourself and say that.” ~from Tiny Buddha’s 365 Tiny Love Challenges

When I was a kid, an authority figure once told me, “If I was your age, I wouldn’t be your friend.”

I tried to act like I didn’t care so I wouldn’t give that person the satisfaction of knowing how deeply they hurt me.

But it hit me hard, and it stayed with me for years. Someone who was supposed to like me didn’t, so why would anyone …

Why Self-Help Might Not Help, and What Will (Interview & Book Giveaway)

Update: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. They are:

When I first found what looked like a self-help book called The End of Self-Help, I thought it was a tad ironic. And I wondered if perhaps the author was suggesting that self-help is inherently harmful.

As someone who’s bounced back from overwhelming adversity using some very powerful self-help tools, this didn’t quite sit right with me.

Then I decided to stop wondering what this book was all about and instead find out by reading it. I couldn’t be …

Why Rejection IS Sometimes Personal (but Not About Your Worth)

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s not about you. It’s about them. It’s their loss. Don’t take it personally. It doesn’t mean anything.

Well-intentioned people have told me these things many times to soften the blow of rejection. And I wanted so badly to believe them, but how could I?

When someone doesn’t want you, it’s hard not to take it personally. They don’t want you. It must mean something about you, right?

When five college theater programs rejected me, when guy after guy ditched me, when countless potential friends avoided me, …

Confessions and Lessons from a Former Approval Addict

“It’s not your job to like me. It’s mine.” ~Byron Katie

I’m short. I’m stumpy. My nose looks like a pig’s. My inner thighs touch when I walk. My gums show too much when I talk. I have to change the way I look. Maybe then you’ll like me.

I obsess. I overanalyze. I get caught up in my head. I dwell on things I should let go. I can never simply go with the flow. I have to learn to be laid back. Maybe then you’ll like me. 

I’m shy. I’m anxious. I’m dependent on reassurance. I ask for

A Tiny Act of Kindness Can Help Someone in a Big Way

I started working in the food industry when I was just twelve years old.

I couldn’t drive, stay out past 11:00pm, or do algebra, but I could easily fill a bag with bagels at a business owned by a close family friend. And so I did, every weekend.

It was a simple job, working the dozen counter. I didn’t even have to ask people how many they wanted (thirteen, a baker’s dozen—that’s just good business!) I only had to ask what kind they wanted, then hand it to them, make change, and send them off with a “Have a nice …

We All Have Bad Days and All Need a Little Kindness

”Be kind to unkind people. They need it the most.” ~Unknown

A couple weeks back I had what Alexander would call a no good, terrible, very bad day.

I’d slept poorly the night before—possibly because I had caffeine, which I usually avoid, somewhat late in the day, and possibly because I have a toddler-sized bladder that doesn’t seem to understand or care about REM cycles.

In addition to being physically exhausted, I was feeling emotionally spent. I’d been dealing with a high level of uncertainty, as my boyfriend and I were preparing to move yet again, after months of discussion …

5 Ways to Experience the Kind of Love You See in the Movies

“Maybe it’s not about the happy ending. Maybe it’s about the story.” ~Unknown

Growing up, I often pretended my life was a movie, and created quite a few awkward situations by trying to force real life to look like a romantic comedy.

In the movies, everything was so electric.

People didn’t just care about each other; they adored each other. They didn’t just date; they had a montage of amazing memories, complete with tandem biking, skipping, hand-in-hand, in a field of flowers, and dancing in the rain.

That’s the kind of love I wanted—the intense, always exciting, never disappointing, made-for-the-big-screen