Hi Mae,

Trust your instincts on this one. Your instincts, by the way, are SCREAMING at you not to get involved with him again. Sure, he may say all the right things, but your gut is telling you what is actually happening here.

Best,

Inky

Hi koko vega,

Two paradoxical truths are:

1. People change all the time. Change happens naturally. You are probably wiser and more mature than you were in your twenties, for example.

2. On a fundamental level, people don’t tend to change that much at all. Sure, you can “surface-y” change for a time, but most people drift back to who and what they really are. Unless your change becomes an ingrained habit, it’s not going to happen.

Him going through all your stuff: That’s just a trait of his insecurity. If you are utterly boring, there is nothing that he can find. He will get bored and stop (eventually) but do tell him it’s tiring. I would keep one thing password protected and let him know it. Tell him it’s to make sure there’s SOME mystery in your relationship! 😉

Aside from him changing, you changing, it sounds like you need to break up with him. It’s gotten stale.

Best,

Inky

*Thank you anita!! *bows*

And a Happy Fourth of July to everyone! Let us all watch fireworks wherever we are and eat a tasty pork/beef/vegan hotdog and forget about all our troubles… just for a night!

Inky

Hi grace,

The good news is there are 7 billion people on the planet. At least some of them would be likely friends for you. Meaning these toxic frienemies will be diluted in the greater goodness you would receive from humanity. You just have to make a CHOICE. Hint: it is better to be alone than to be with people who make you feel bad.

Choose Good People,

Inky

Hi Grace,

Maybe the guys in your HS are just not for you (especially if you’ve known them all your life or if your school is small). AND THAT’S A GOOD THING! Why force yourself into dating someone who’s like your brother?

Relationships are incredibly distracting! This is a pivotal year (16/Junior) academically for you. Best to concentrate on that.

What could happen is you’ll eventually find yourself in a relationship just to have one. Do you really want that?

When I was sixteen I didn’t have a boyfriend in my high school, but I did have one. Looking back, it was a PAIN IN THE AZZ! I actually hated it. Wish I blew everyone off until twenty two. But that’s another post….

Best,

Inky

Hi Lisa,

Always trust your instincts. You were actually very kind accepting his FB request.

Him copying you was a way to try to subtlety  get your attention (kind of like the mirroring technique), him being inept in social media (using your style as a template) OR most probably, he was letting you know that you were being watched. Because how dare you not have dinner with him.

One of my old Friends (and some relatives) used Aggressive Liking and Commenting on Every. Thing. I. Did. You have to simply endure it or risk the social fallout of blocking them. (Good for you!)

Then when you Blocked him he invited you to a Christmas party. What’s with this guy?? Why does he have your email???

Next time trust (and follow!) your instincts. If things get awkward, be OK with that.

Let it be Awkward!

Inky

Hi James,

Hope I’m not late to the party and you will check in once more!

I think that:

1. You had sex too soon.

2. She tried to control the situation. You were clearly on a pre-planned holiday with your friends (I’m assuming you told her this) and she texts you that she wants to meet (NOW!) to break up. I would have ignored her too.

3. Then she gets all pissy and doesn’t like how you talked to her on Saturday night and then DOESN’T want to meet up. How else did she think you would have been? She was dumping you!

4. She sounds very immature.

5. If you can “Hide” her on social media, at least you won’t have to see her posts. If it makes you feel better, I rarely reach out to the FB Friends I’ve had major connections with. (I’m kind of down on FaceBook, etc. anyway.) The connection was “too real” and I don’t want them to be just another social media friend. It diminishes what we had. Let her have her surface-y social media relationships with her 1,000 Friends. What you had was Real. Remember that. Too bad she wasn’t ready for it.

Blessings,

Inky

• This reply was modified 6 years, 5 months ago by Inky.

“Thank you, thank you!” *bows*