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Sorry to hear your struggles. People change. What it comes down to is being true to yourself. If the way they act/think/talk doesn’t resonate with you, time to let them go. Just keep being you and you’ll make friends with people who are right for/resonate with you.
Keep your chin up! 🙂
I really like Chad’s advice and experience that he shared with you.
I would just add, wherever you go for school, you can always speak with a academic counsellor and they can likely help you get a sense of what you might be interested and give you suggestions on what to take in terms of classes, so at least you get a taste/feel of what you might want to study. I’ve had people that I’ve gone to school with start off in one major and graduate with a completely different major. That’s the beauty of school. You usually have a set curriculum of courses for a major and they generally arrange it so you can pick some electives to take that have absolutely nothing to do with you. Sometimes you don’t even have to take mandatory courses that particular year and swap it with an elective. You can probably even request to talk to an upper year student and get a perspective from them about courses/majors.
Hope that helps.
LuciaSeptember 19, 2014 at 7:24 pm in reply to: Those of you who are happier and stronger post break up! PLEASE share! #65249
It’s been over two years since my heart-break. And time heals all. There are ups-and-downs, but this is the time to find your passions. With good friends and looking within yourself, you’ll find the good times and make new happy memories. I’ve probably been my happiest ever since the heart-break, even prior to the heart-break.
So take your time to grieve your loss, and take care of yourself. In time, you’ll be smiling again. 🙂
Sounds like you don’t have much confidence in yourself. I used to think those same thoughts too. But don’t forget every one has a different level of connection with other people. You may be closer to one friend than another. If you’re ever feeling lonely, call up a friend and ask to hang out. I don’t always hang out with a group of friends, sometimes it’s fun-er and feeling a deeper connection with a friend when it is one-to-one.
Hope that helps.
Not sure if you were expecting a reply, but I really do hope you find some peace during this turbulent time. It’s hard to let go of someone that you’ve shared practically every aspect of your being with. Especially since you’ve invested a lot of time with that someone. But sounds like you made a self-loving choice for yourself, if your relationship “expectations/needs” are met with that someone, then it’s definitely time to move on. chances are this someone is not meant to be in your life at this time or may be not ever.
Give yourself time to grieve, since this is a loss. Time will heal almost all things.
As Jeroen’s end message says: Actions speak louder than words. Instead of telling him, show him. It’s kind of hard to know where to start when you ask your partner for a list of things they don’t like about you. How about asking for a list of things that he does like about you? That can kind of remind him of the reasons why he is in a relationship with you.
Like a lot of the messages on TB: you can’t control other people’s actions or reactions, but you sure can control your own. My advice would be start making the positive changes for yourself, it will trickle into your other relationships – both romantic or platonic.
Hope you find your answers.
I’m so sorry to hear that you are going through so much pain. 🙁 It is very difficult to have someone you care for so much do a 180 on you. Do you have friends to go out with? Hobbies or activities to go out and do? just taking out time to do something you love to do or be with others you feel a close connection can help ease your heartbreak a bit. It’s not a quick fix or a cure-all, it will take time to heal, you are literally going through a grieving process. Take care of yourself, you deserve to have love and comfort, especially when you’re feeling super blue.
Sorry Susan, I hope some of this helps. It won’t be an easy experience, but be kind and patient with yourself.
The Ruminant and Emma have given you such great insight and advice. I would suggest try volunteering at different agencies/events, you get a taste of the industry of that agency, and you’ll meet different people there who might be able to give you insight about the careers in that industry. In other words, go out there and try different things. Like Emma and the Ruminant said, you don’t have to stick with what you study in school. In fact, a lot of people finish school and don’t even work in the area they studied for. School prepares you for thinking critically, and you can take those skills anywhere.
I think whatever you end up doing, you’ll be great! 🙂January 9, 2014 at 6:59 pm in reply to: He left me 3 years ago yet my heart is still holding on…help! #48827
I’m sorry to hear that you still carry that hurt in your heart. sounds like you’re in need of some TLC. Be gentle with yourself, it’s not always easy to let go of something we crave. It takes time to heal, but the key is letting go of someone who has already let you go. When you let go, you open yourself up to new experiences and new people. Take things one day at a time, that’s what I did well over a year ago. I have to say that it has been quite a journey with ups and downs, but it will get better, I promise. 🙂
Start by taking time to take care of yourself. Do what you enjoy. Talk to positive and caring people around you. You can totally do this Eliza!
Sorry, i hope this helps, even if just a little bit. You aren’t alone.
LuciaDecember 4, 2013 at 6:47 am in reply to: It hurts: friends go on Xmas holidays with ex and his new girlfriend #46188
I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling really hurt. It really takes time for the pain to lessen. Even though you share mutual friends, you mentioned that you’ve made new ones. How about you try connecting with those friends over the holidays? Start making your own plans and focus on yourself. Don’t worry about your ex and his new gf, I know easier said than done, but truly focus on you. With time, you will start feeling way better. Go do something fun, something you enjoy! Keep meeting new people, you never know who you’ll meet. 🙂
Hope this helps.
Normally I would say, do what makes you feel comfortable. But I’ve realized that sometimes you need to be uncomfortable and get out of your comfort zone. Like all other people, you too need some companionship. Can’t really say you won’t enjoy it, unless you try it. Maybe the next one, you’ll give it a go?
Sometimes, we just need to go out with our work place to decompress and team build? I wouldn’t really know first hand, since I’ve never really worked for a huge company that does those team building type activities.
Do you have any confidants at your workplace? Maybe you can kind hang out with them during the work event? I dunno sometimes it helps to have someone you trust around you when you are stepping outside of your comfort zone, they can be a buffer for you.
In any case, I hope you find your answers and feel some peace too. 🙂
No you don’t have to be friendless to be happy. Just be patient with yourself and with your friends who are trying to help you out. Sometimes friends are trying to give you well-meaning advice and can go on a rant about what not to do. You’re still grieving for loss. And that’s ok. We all experience things differently and we definitely aren’t machines where we can turn off our emotions with a click of a button. It’s definitely not easy trying to manage all aspects of our lives at once. Just work on each piece as best you can.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being alone. It’s great to have me-time! That’s the best time to find out what your passions are, do stuff you like to do and grow. But it’s also really great to hang out with like-minded individuals, especially those who are supportive. I dunno, maybe you want to look into a support group to help with talking stuff out? I’ve never been to one, but I figured they may be a bit more gentle in terms of giving advice?
Just keep working on you and be the best you that you can be. 🙂
Well, that is what school is all about. It’s a place to learn and have the opportunity to fail and grow in a safe environment. I think parents need to back off a little and stop helicoptering in, when the kid gets into trouble. I have teacher friends who tell me about these things happening, I really think the parents are doing a disservice to their children, kids need to learn from their mistakes and from consequences of their actions in a safe environment like school and home. Just my opinion, i’m not a parent.
1. I’m a pretty loyal friend. I love meeting new people. Sporty! I love to play sports!
2. A website called TinyDevotions. Then i think stumble upon a few times.
3. Practically everything! Little kids, my brother and my mom in particular.
4. BC – there is so much to show, can’t just choose one! I love it there!!!!!
5. EVERYTHING! I love to learn! If I had all the time in the world, I would take classes all the time!!!! Right now, I dream of moonlighting as a mechanic.
Have you read the Wealthy Barber or the Wealthy Barber Returns? I loved them both!!!!