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Search Results for "6 mistakes" — 609 posts

Blinded by Our Diet Culture? How to Stop Hating Your Body

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“Don’t change your body to get respect from society. Instead let’s change society to respect our bodies.” ~Golda Poretsky

Age thirteen—that was when my eating disorder kicked into full gear because our diet culture had its tentacles wrapped around me tightly. All I thought about all day was how I was going to control and restrict my food, then how I was going to burn it off.

I sought to burn off every calorie I ate. I couldn’t go to sleep at night unless I’d burned off most of what I’d consumed. I was obsessed with exercise and trying to …

How to Heal a Broken Heart Using Mindful Self-Compassion

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“It’s not your job to like me—it’s mine.” Byron Katie

Why are breakups so painful? Whether we are the dumper or the dumpee, the range of emotions we feel is universal: devastation, sadness, and anger. Oh, and there’s the acute pain, as if your heart had been gouged from your chest, stabbed a dozen times with a butter knife, and booted to the curb.

Am I right?

Of course I am. I’ve been there. We all have. I intimately experienced a broken heart and its rippling effects when my partner and I ended our seven-year relationship. I admit that I …

You Don’t Suck at Life: How to Stop Believing Your Inner Bully

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“You’re too fat to wear that tight shirt to the gym.”

“You’re not smart enough to take the lead on that project at work.”

“You’re definitely going to screw up the vacation plans.”

“You’re not good enough, cool enough, likable enough.” 

“You suck.”

If we talked like this to anyone, it would be considered bullying.

And yet we talk to ourselves like this all the time.

We talk to ourselves in a way we would never talk to people we care about. We take these words to heart and believe them as truth.

We turn these words into …

Fellow Dreamers: If You Feel Like a Fool, You’re on the Right Track

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“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” ~Brian Tracy

I’m a fool.

Well, it’s more accurate to say I’ve been a fool often, and I’m ashamed.

My life, no different from many, has had some successes but also many setbacks and outright failures. I suppose this is just another way of saying I’ve lived.

The problem is that I’ve allowed my mistakes, errors, and failures to hold me back.

We’ve all felt like a fool before, but when has doing so made it …

It’s Not All Love and Light: Why We Can’t Ignore the Dark and Just “Be Positive”

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“The dark night of the soul comes just before revelation.” ~Joseph Campbell

If you frequent Instagram or any other social media platform these days, you may notice countless posts about positivity, self-help, yoga, and green juice. And gluten-free everything.

Most of us equate these messages with spirituality and good vibes. I won’t disagree. These messages do promote good vibes. But, the problem is these posts don’t tell the whole story, and once we log off, many of us still feel incomplete, fearful, and insecure because all of these “influencers” and gurus seem to have it all figured out.

I’m …

9 Lessons from my 9-Month-Old Nephew, Who’s Taught Me How to Live

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“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.” ~William Arthur Ward

Oliver.

Ahh, my heart skips a beat at just the sound of his name.

In 2018, a tiny human being arrived on the planet, one who would change my life. In the short nine months my nephew Oliver has been in my life, I’ve learned a lot. I’m not talking about changing nappies and bottle-feeding, although I’m getting to grips with these essentials too. No, Oliver has taught me valuable lessons about life itself. Here are nine of the biggest.

1.

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Overcoming Intergenerational Trauma: We Can Break the Cycle of Abuse

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“Our ancestors knew that healing comes in cycles and circles. One generation carries the pain so that the next can live and heal. One cannot live without the other, each is the other’s hope, meaning and strength.” ~Gemma B. Benton

I thought I had no value, my opinion meaningless. My sense of self was decimated. Finally, I got angry and attacked.

“You can’t imagine the pain you’ve put me through!” I yelled. “You don’t even know who I am. You can’t see it. You’re refusing to take responsibility for the way you raised me! Not thinking is not an excuse! …

How I Went From the Pain of People-Pleasing to the Freedom of Being Me

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“How hurtful it can be to deny one’s own true self and live a life of lies just to appease others.” ~June Ahern

Growing up I felt lost, separate, and different from everyone else in my family. After all, everyone else was a fit; they pursued the same hobbies, had the same aspirations, and even thought in the same way (everything was very black and white with hardly any grey areas). I was interested, it seemed, in everything they were not interested in.

I had a different way of looking at the world. Any task I was asked to …

What Expecting to Die Young Taught Me About Living a Happy Life

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“I’ve come to trust not that events will always unfold exactly as I want, but that I will be fine either way. The challenges we face in life are always lessons that serve our soul’s growth.” ~ Marianne Williamson

At the age of nine, I was sitting in a doctor’s office at Baylor University with both of my parents when we were all told I wouldn’t live to see twenty-three. The doctor casually told us my dad would probably never get to walk me down the aisle and I’d likely never make my mom a grandmother, but there was great …

Adapting to Feeling Unseen: How I’m Navigating a World That Overlooks the Aging

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Older
Beautiful inside and out—
Invisible

I gave a little start when those words flashed onto the screen during a presentation by the poet Elizabeth Bradfield. Liz was in the process of describing six-word memoirs, modeled on Hemingway’s heartbreaking story For sale: Baby shoes. Never used.

The photograph showed a wall from the 6 Words Minneapolis project, in which city residents were asked to briefly describe themselves. This entry spoke directly to an experience I’d been having of late but hadn’t quite been able to name.

Consider: I smile at a young couple who are walking with their baby out …

How to Beat Insomnia and Get a Good Night’s Sleep (A Spiritual Approach)

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“Our spiritual mission is not to ignore the darkness, but to bring light to the darkness.” ~Marianne Williamson                              

It’s 3:17AM. You’ve been staring at the clock since 1:42AM, mind racing, body tense. In five hours you’re going to have to drag yourself to work, terrified that you’re going to fall asleep at your desk—again.

If you have trouble sleeping, you’re not alone. I know what it feels like to lie awake, reliving mistakes, making lists of things that might go wrong, waiting for sleep that never seems to come.

In fact, almost one-third of the adult population in the US …

50 People Share What They’re Grateful to Do Every Day

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At night, when you think about how you spent your day, how often do you focus on all the things you had to do?

I worked. I ran errands. I went to the gym. I made dinner.

And when you tell someone about this kind of day, how often do you do it with a less-than-enthused tone?

I suspect this is the norm for many of us, at least during the workweek.

Commitments, to work and family, can engulf our lives and seem like chores, not choices and chances.

I distinctly remember one day, years ago, when my day felt …

How Getting Dumped Before My Wedding Made Me a Better Person

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“The root of suffering is attachment.” ~The Buddha

Getting dumped a few weeks before my wedding was the most painful experience of my life to date, but how I came through it is the single proudest moment of my life.

When I met with his mother four years after the breakup, she said she’d felt so guilty over these past few years. “I loved you like a daughter, and he’s my son—I never want any of my children to feel that pain.”

I told her I was glad it happened, not for the fact that the breakup needed to …

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No Piece of Advice Is Right for Everyone, at All Times

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“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain ability to function.” ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

Ever been inspired by a quote or an article you read on a self-improvement site like Tiny Buddha?

I mean so inspired that you instantly and wholeheartedly started to apply the advice—no questions asked.

Not only that, but in your inspiration, you started to brag about your newfound wisdom to all your friends.

You just couldn’t shut up about this new piece of wisdom!

If a friend was going through …

How I Stopped Feeling Guilty About Doing What’s Best for Me

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“A good rule of thumb is that any environment that consistently leaves you feeling bad about who you are is the wrong environment.” ~Laurie Helgoe

Do you ever worry that if you fulfill your needs you will disappoint others? Do you ever feel guilty for doing what’s best for you?

For years, I felt guilty about taking time for myself. I thought that being alone, away from the rest of the world, meant being selfish. This was especially true in one toxic relationship that kept dragging me down because I was afraid to make a change. As a peaceful, …

The ABCs of Personal Growth: How to Live a Meaningful, Fulfilling Life

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“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” ~Karen Kaiser Clark

Throughout my life, I’ve moved countries, studied a foreign language, changed careers, launched a business, run a half marathon, written a book, faced agonizing loss and grief, won awards, been deeply hurt, created awesome charity campaigns, lived with huge uncertainty and pain, found love and friendships to cherish, and given birth to three miraculous humans.

Throughout these and plenty more crazy, insane, complex, and utterly beautiful life events, I have collected treasured building blocks that help me live a life of meaning, purpose, and joy every single day.…

How I Learned to Trust Others by Learning to Trust Myself

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“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough.” ~Frank Crane

I’ve had trust issues for as long as I can remember, but didn’t realize it until after my divorce.

Divorce can be a traumatic experience, and in this case, it made me begin to take stock of my life. I began to reflect on my failed romantic relationships and why this was a repeat pattern for me.

I realized then that I never let people in for fear they will let me down, belittle or make me feel …

Why We Need to Stop Hiding and Share the Beauty in Our Brokenness

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“Out of perfection nothing can be made. Every process involves breaking something up. The earth must be broken to bring forth life. If the seed does not die there is no plant. Bread results from the death of wheat. Life lives on lives. Our own life lives on the act of other people. If you are lifeworthy, you can take it.” ~Joseph Campbell

Head on my pillow, tears in my eyes, a list of to-dos in my brain, I felt unable to move my body. I’d worked so hard to leave behind this person who stayed in bed avoiding life. …

How to Rebuild a Relationship with Someone Who’s Hurt You

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“Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free.” ~Unknown

My situation is probably not unlike that a lot of people reading this.

I grew up in a single-parent home. Don’t get me wrong, I had a pretty happy childhood, and my mom did an unbelievable job raising me. She worked four jobs to make sure I always had the best of everything. But I could never shake the feeling that I always wanted a father figure in my life.

My parents had separated when I was very young. …