As Long as You Feel Pain
How to Tell If Your Relationship is Codependent (and What to Do About It)
“Love rests on two pillars: surrender and autonomy. Our need for togetherness exists alongside our need for separateness.” ~ Esther Perel
Healthy relationships require a delicate balance of intimacy and autonomy, giving and receiving, self and other.
As we struggle to walk this delicate tightrope, we might feel less like graceful acrobats and more like pendulums swaying recklessly from side to side. As I reflect on my own romantic journey, I notice a trend: I got very close to past partners, losing myself in them entirely, and then emerged from the codependent haze terrified and self-abandoned.
“Never again!” I …
Master Peace Box: Meditation-Infused Art Classes, Delivered Monthly
Do you ever read about other people’s creative hobbies and think, “Man, that sounds like a lot of fun”? Do you ever look through creative Pinterest pages and think, “You know, I bet I could do that”?
There’s something about art that instantly evokes a feeling of joy and relaxation—or at least it does for me. Maybe it’s memories of carefree childhood afternoons spent creating Lego houses and playdough sculptures. Or maybe it’s the fantasy of being an artsy kind of person—eccentric, free-spirited, and driven by passion and awe.
Whatever your personal draw, there’s one thing we have in common, …
How to Foster Gratitude If You Have a History of Childhood Abuse
“The pressure to be grateful kept me away from the more painful and real feelings of grief, anger, and abandonment. Growing up, gratitude was one more brick on the pile that kept all of the secrets of abuse in place. It was just one more thing that made me feel like being who I am, as I am, isn’t enough.” ~Vicki Peterson
The pathway to gratitude for a person with developmental trauma is not always straightforward.
You try your best and even purchased a journal specifically to try the ritual for yourself, but all you can think of to be …
The Power of Compassion: How to Make Do in an Unfair World
“A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. But when you add to that a literate tongue or pen, then you have something very special.” ~Nelson Mandela
Ever thought, “Life is so unfair!”
Is it, really?
Has life given you circumstances that keep you in a deep, dark hole of disadvantages that seem impossible to clamber out of?
Has life decided that you need to live in abject poverty and watch everyone in your life suffer from being denied everything a human needs to be human?
Has life put you in a position where you wouldn’t dare …
How to Survive Hard Times: 5 Lessons from Volunteering in a Hospital
“Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.” ~Albert Einstein
Why do you want to do it? It was a question I was asked repeatedly by friends before I started my volunteering placement in a spinal injuries unit, the uncertainty in their eyes reflecting back their own fears around life-altering disability.
It was difficult to put into words what drew me to becoming a patient support volunteer. I was content in my job, had an active social life, hiked and swam every weekend, but still there was something missing. My own life felt sheltered, and I wanted to feel …
Dear Childhood Friends, Thank You and I Miss You
“Sweet is the memory of distant friends. Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart.” ~Washington Irving
Why is it that the older we seem to get the more and more we miss friendships from days long past?
You know the ones…
The friendships where you felt 100% happiness being in their presence.
Where you felt as if you could be your true self—goofy, silly, honest, and real.
Where you would get lost in conversations, imagination, and being fully present in the moment.
Where you went on adventures, told them your …
7 Awesome Things That Happened When I Started Surfing at 55
“It’s never too late for a new beginning in your life.” ~Joyce Meyer
I sat on the beach, watching the sandpipers skittering back and forth, pecking at the water’s edge. A dead horseshoe crab washed back and forth in the surf.
Finished at fifty-five, I thought. I’m as useless as that poor crab.
Several years ago I was laid off after thirty-three years at a Fortune 500 company. “Workforce rebalancing” was the term they used, but for me it simply meant a month’s severance pay and colleagues solemnly shaking my hand. Hand over your badge… there’s the door, …
How to Create a Healthy and Lasting Romantic Relationship
“You cannot create a conscious relationship with someone who isn’t committed to doing their work. But you can create a better relationship with yourself, and sometimes that looks like releasing yourself from the idea that you can change another person or convince them to grow. Choose yourself.” ~Sheleana Aiyana
What are the ingredients that make a loving, romantic relationship flow and sustain for many years? And what kind of love/relationship is best for long-term success?
These questions have been at the core of my pursuits personally and professionally for some years now, and let’s face it, these questions are at …
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