You’re Reminding Them That They Lived
What Helps Me Put Things in Perspective
“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.” ~Douglas Adams
The Buddha famously said that life is full of suffering. While I acknowledge there is much suffering in the world, for my privileged life in the West, I like to think of it more as life being full of challenges. You see, sometimes the suffering part is optional.…
Finding the Courage to Go After What You Want Out of Life
“Just because you’re not doing what other people are doing, that doesn’t mean you’re failing or falling behind. You’re charting your own course and staying true to yourself, even though it would be easier to join the crowd. You’re creating a life you can fall in love with instead of falling in line. You’re finding the courage to do what’s right for you, even though it’s uncertain and scary and hard. Give yourself some credit, because these are all reasons to be proud.” ~Lori Deschene
I wouldn’t call myself a laid-back person. I have anxiety that leads me to …
How to Set Boundaries in Awkward Situations with Strangers
“Boundaries aren’t about punishing. Boundaries are about creating safety for yourself.” ~Sheri Keffer
The person sitting beside you at the bar keeps talking to you despite your obvious disinterest. The flirty Uber driver mentions—three times—how beautiful you are. Your cousin’s new boyfriend gives you a too-long hug with wandering hands.
In awkward situations with strangers, we tend to hope that non-verbal cues will be sufficient to set a boundary. We use silence, crossed arms, uncomfortable laughter, and glares to communicate discomfort. But some folks cannot—or will not—take the hint.
Here, we find ourselves at a crossroads: We can either …
I Will No Longer Allow My Doubt to Convince Me I’m Not Good Enough
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” ~Henry Ford
Self-doubt is a killer. It may start off quietly in the back of your mind when you’re a kid. You may not even notice its presence, but if you let it, it can keep growing bigger and bigger like a balloon that never pops.
“Did I make the right decision?”
“Should I have said that out loud?”
“Should I apply for that job?”
“Am I good enough?”
For most (including myself), it’s that last question that haunts you no matter what you’re trying to do.
Growing …
Do You Accept Your Partner’s Attempts to Repair?
“I am not fully healed, I am not fully wise, I am still on my way. What matters is that I am moving forward.” ~Yung Pueblo
According to Dr. John Gottman, PhD, successful repair attempts are a “happy couple’s secret weapon.”
An attempt to repair is when our partner makes a mistake and then makes an attempt to fix it in their own way.
Their attempt may look very different than what we may want, and we may be tempted to react negatively, but we have a choice to catch ourselves and consciously choose a different response.
That’s part of …
4 Simple Habits That Can Soothe Your Anxious Mind
“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
There is so much noise and overwhelm these days it’s almost impossible to not feel crippling anxiety on a regular basis.
With a march of commitments, appointments, and obligations that never seem to end, we’re a nation of chronically stressed and overwhelmed.
We often spend our lives in a rush, running on autopilot, completing task after task until we finally collapse into bed utterly exhausted. Amidst the noise and demands our minds are scattered, in a perpetual state of thinking, …
How to Mindfully Calm Your Anger and Stop Doing Things You Regret
“Neurologists claim that every time you resist acting on your anger, you’re actually rewiring your brain to be calmer and more loving.” ~Unknown
One of the most impactful ways that mindfulness has changed my life is how I’m able to work with my feelings of anger.
Anyone who has met me in recent years would never know how anger used to run my life. I often wish that people who are just now meeting me could realize the transformation I’ve gone through from my past. If people could see how mindfulness has changed me from an angry, irritable person who …
7 Amazing Things That Happen When You Start Loving Yourself More
“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits—anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving,” ~Kim McMillen
I started learning about self-love a long time ago.
In fact, I started learning about self-love so long ago that when, fifteen years later, a shaman in Peru I told me that self-love was the answer to all my questions, I got really pissed off!
I had struggled with depression as a teenager. For about two years, I lived a very sad life. …
I Spent Years Looking for Happiness in the Wrong Places
“Never put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.” ~Unknown
About ten years ago I made the mistake of re-reading my journal from high school. Wow, was I ever a miserable, slightly unstable person.
I dated the same (great) guy for three years, but looking back over my handwritten confessions, you would have thought I was dating Mussolini. I had endless complaints, wanted to control everything my boyfriend did, and every other word I wrote was a gripe. And this was about a guy I tried to get to notice me for months before he finally asked me …
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