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If You Want a Healthy Relationship, Value Yourself

By in Blog, love & relationships

“It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self-love deficit.” ~Eartha Kitt

I always found the concept of self-love embarrassing and horrifying. Just thinking about it would make me cringe. It felt completely wrong, and I didn’t understand what it was all about. Quite frankly, I felt disgusted by it and thought it was a new-age invention by self-centerd people who wanted to have more opportunities to be selfish.

Sure, I was young then, but I can now also see how that …

You Don’t Have to Be a Superhero to Save the World

By in Fun & Inspiring

Mental Health Is So Important

By in Fun & Inspiring

When You’re Unhappy and Want Things to Change

By in Blog, happiness & fun

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.” ~Seneca

This is the first time I am admitting it: I was bullied in school.

I was thirteen years old at the time, and it went on for the one year that I lived in Dorm 11. I never acknowledged it because I felt bullying was too small a misfortune to complain about.

But now when I think back to it, I can remember exactly how the dormitory looked. I remember the view from the windows, the corridor in front of my dorm. I remember the faces of the other kids, …

Keep Hanging Out with Yourself

By in Fun & Inspiring

How To Make Peace With Your Noisy Mind—7 Tips From An Ex-Monk

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Leave your front door and your back door open. Let thoughts come and go. Just don’t serve them tea.” ~Shunryu Suzuki

There are few things more exasperating in life than having a noisy chatterbox in residence between your ears—a busy mind that never stops and won’t leave you in peace for a moment.

You are sitting by the pool on your long-awaited vacation.

The weather is perfect. Your diary is clear. You settle down on your deckchair with an ice-cold drink and your favorite book.

Everything is perfect—well, almost everything.

The message “on vacation” clearly hasn’t got through to the …

How the Past and the Future Can Rob You of the Present

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Remember then: there is only one time that is important and it is now! The present moment is the only time when we have any power.” ~Tolstoy

Stop for a second and tell me: What were you thinking about just now? Chances are very good that you were thinking about something either in the past or in the future.

Of course, some of that thinking is necessary. For instance, we think about what we need to get at the store to make dinner tonight, or what we saw on the news yesterday to consider where we stand and what to …

Why an Internal Focus is The Solution to All of Your Problems

By in Blog, change & challenges

“The moment you take personal responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you can change anything in your life.” ~Hal Elrod

I’m an introspective person, and at this point in my life don’t have any problems with taking personal responsibility. When I share my insights or understanding of situations I have been in, people often say, “Marlena, why are you so hard on yourself? What about the people that have wronged and harmed you? Why do you never mention them?”

For most of my life, I was trapped in a victim mindset, which meant that I focused …

How Strong You Are

By in Fun & Inspiring

Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid

By in Fun & Inspiring

You Are Not “Too Much” to Be Loved

By in Blog, love & relationships

“If you always feel like you’re too much or too little, maybe you’re adding yourself to the wrong recipe.” ⁠~Sophia Joan Short

There is an art to shrinking yourself.

As a young girl, I was painfully earnest. I hadn’t learned the craft of nonchalance that was as much a requirement for being liked as name-brand clothes and Livestrong wristbands. One day, as I chattered excitedly on the school bus home, my seat-mate scolded me: “Hailey. Calm down. You’re so annoying.”

This is how I learned that my enthusiasm made me unlikable.

At home, short tempers led to angry arguments…

Replace the Bad With the Good

By in Fun & Inspiring

Growing Up with a Narcissist: How I’m Healing from the Abuse

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“You could have grown cold, but you grew courageous instead. You could have given up, but you kept on going. You could have seen obstacles, but you called them adventures. You could have called them weeds, but instead you called them wildflower. You could have died a caterpillar, but you fought on to be a butterfly. You could have denied yourself goodness, but instead you chose to show yourself some self-love. You could have defined yourself by the dark days, but instead through them you realized your light.” ~S.C. Lourie

As the memories of my childhood flash within my mind, …

Why I Was Desperate to Be With an Unavailable Man

By in Blog, love & relationships

“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing after people who don’t love you either.” ~Mandy Hale

In January, a couple of years ago, I had been declared unfit for work, suffering from anxiety and mental exhaustion. For too long, I had not listened to my body and soul complaining about all the heavy burdens I had been carrying.

Out walking at this time, the bitter cold and relentless rain felt like a blessing to me, grateful to at least feel something. It was on one of these walks that I first bumped into an old school friend, hearing …

Taking a Step Backward After Taking a Step Forward

By in Fun & Inspiring

Embodied Trauma Conference: a Free Online Event, Feb 3-8

By in Blog, change & challenges

Would you say you’ve experienced trauma in your lifetime?

Perhaps it’s an obvious yes—if you’ve fought in a war, you’ve been abused, or you’ve survived a tragic accident or natural disaster. But odds are, even if you haven’t experienced these things, you’ve lived through something traumatic—the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or even a divorce.

We all go through harrowing events that challenge and change us. If we don’t face the pain head on, our unhealed traumas can leave us stressed, depressed, or unable to cope with daily life. They can affect our mood, sleep, and appetite, …

May Your Cup Overflows With Peace, Love, and Pure Awesomeness

By in Fun & Inspiring

My “Stress” Was Actually High-Functioning Anxiety

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

“Anxiety is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you very far.” ~Jodi Picoult

Many years ago, I worked in the technology sector in Austin, Texas, which is a big “tech town.” I was incredibly focused on building my career and earning a higher and higher salary.

I also have two daughters, who were in elementary school at the time. I’m divorced and am the primary care giver for them. Like so many divorced moms, I was doing a lot.

I would run through a mental list of daily to-dos from the …

The Best Things in Life Are Free

By in Fun & Inspiring

When You Want to Make Progress Fast and Feel Impatient

By in Blog, meaning & passion, work fulfillment

“Tortoise was over the line. After that, Hare always reminded himself, ‘Don’t brag about your lightning pace, for Slow and Steady won the race!‘“ ~The Tortoise and the Hare (Aesop’s Fables)

I was sitting in an introduction to calligraphy workshop when a fellow student asked the instructor, “What do I need to become a professional Calligrapher, what would it take?”

We were all on the edge of our seats with that one. It was as if we were about to learn the secret ingredient to Grandma’s cookies.

The answer, to our surprise, was pen and paper.

“The materials are no …