Grief Never Ends, But It Changes
How Practicing Patience Can Relieve Stress and Anxiety
“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” ~Joyce Meyer
I used to say, “Patience is a virtue I don’t have.” So, of course, that is how I lived my life. Hurried, exasperated, impatient, and stressed out.
Not only was I a creating a world where I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off—because everything had to be done now, and anything that got in the way of that had to be removed immediately—but I was creating this world for those around me.
My children often …
5 Psychological Strategies to Ease the Stress of Perfectionism
“Striving for excellence motivates you, striving for perfection is demoralizing.” ~Harriet Braiker
The last three months I’ve been trying an experiment. It’s something that I’ve never done before, and in a certain way, it’s been a huge challenge. However, in other ways, it’s been an enormous stress relief, and I would say a largely successful effort.
What I’ve done seems to go against conventional wisdom, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a wise choice.
So what exactly is this challenge? Well, I have actively gone out of my way to be average.
Yep, sounds a little weird, doesn’t it? …
How I Found Happiness by Facing the Past I Worked So Hard to Escape
“Ten years from now, make sure you can say you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.” ~Mandy Hale
I spent most of my youth trying to escape. From the mother who drank too much and the violent men she dated and from the kids at school who made fun of me for wearing the same clothes every week.
I felt shame and guilt because I believed that my circumstances defined who I was, which meant that I was unimportant, unworthy even.
So, I created elaborate imaginary worlds where I was smart, successful, and often saved the day. Where …
When I Stopped Competing, I Set Myself Free
“With nothing to compare yourself to, aren’t you perfect?” ~Byron Katie
I have never liked competition. Every time I compete, I feel pressured and disconnected from others. I love harmony, peace, collaboration, and win-win situations, kind of like “me happy, you happy.” I don’t need to watch another person lose the game to feel good about myself. I don’t need to dominate or put someone else down in order to feel superior and worthy.
In some cultures, competing is perceived as a sign of ambition, power, and strength. Most of us grew up hearing constant comparisons, which turned into …
How to Release Emotions Stuck in Your Body and Let Go of the Pain
“The human mind is a relational and embodied process that regulates the flow of energy and information.” ~Daniel J. Siegel
We are emotional creatures, and we were born to express emotions freely and openly. Somewhere along the way, however, many of us learned to repress emotions, especially those deemed “negative,” in order to fit in, earn love, and be accepted. This was my experience.
I grew up in a home where the motto was “Children are to be seen, not heard.” There was little emotional expression allowed, let alone accepted. No one was there to validate or help us …
Why I’ve Stopped Hiding My Struggles
“The moment that you feel, just possibly, you are walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind, and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself… that is the moment you might be starting to get it right.” ~Neil Gaiman
The road seemed to go on forever.
Although it was only about 8:30 a.m., the summer sun was already blazing in the sky, shining down with such intensity I felt like an ant under a merciless magnifying glass.
Seven miles into an eight-mile run and growing more and more tired with …
What Heartbreak Taught Me About Creating My Own Happiness
“We accept the love we think we deserve.” ~Stephen Chbosky
A few years ago I was completely heartbroken, and I thought I would never find love. I’d gone through a string of painful breakups over a number of years, but I thought I’d finally met someone I could be with for the long haul. I’d been dating this guy for a few months, and everything seemed to be going smoothly, until one day he stopped calling. Just like that, he disappeared from my life. It was as if we had never met.
What was worse, he didn’t tell me why …
Sensitivity Means Passion, Not Weakness
“The fact that you’re struggling doesn’t make you a burden. It doesn’t make unlovable, undesirable, or undeserving of care. It doesn’t make you too much or too sensitive or too needy. It makes you human. “ ~Daniell Koepke
A while back, during one of my therapy sessions, I became acquainted with the word “dysthymia.”
I was puzzled at first, but as my therapist dug deeper into the subject, I realized that complex-sounding term was, in fact, a birth name to the grizzly monster that has been shadowing me for years. It’s more commonly known as persistent depressive disorder.
I can’t …
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