Until You’re Broken You Don’t Know What You’re Made Of
9 Ways to Silence Self-Criticism and Embrace Self-Love
“I don’t know a perfect person. I only know flawed people who are still worth loving.” ~John Green
Do you ever wonder if that voice in your head is right?
Do you relive events, scouring through every detail to look for places where you went wrong in your actions?
Do you ever walk away from a conversation with your inner voice ranting that you should have done better—that you should have said this or that instead?
That self-critical voice became a prominent friend of mine. I called it the gremlin. The gremlin leapt onto my shoulder after every conversation with …
3 Steps for Getting Back Up When Life Knocks You Down
“It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.” ~Vince Lombardi
I guess I’ve always been a creative soul. Even as a young lad of four or five I had teachers taking my drawings of cartoon characters home to show their families.
Over the next twenty years I aspired to be a Ghostbuster, The Karate Kid, and then (when it turned out there wasn’t much call for eight-year-old ghost hunters and no suitable Mr Miyagi characters around) a writer, and finally a guitarist, all with varying degrees of success.
So it’s safe to say I’ve …
Don’t Try to Get Over Your Fear; Go Through It Instead
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” ~Frank Herbert, The Bene Gesserit “Litany Against Fear,” from the novel Dune
When I was very small, my grandmother would watch me while my parents were at work. Nana often wanted a break, and her house held very …
10 Ways to Practice Self-Compassion and Overcome Your Shame
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“This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.” ~Kristin Neff
I consider myself to be a very compassionate person, but I’ve struggled a great deal with self-compassion. Though I’ve now been sober for over six years, back when I was drinking I made a lot of mistakes, and it’s taken …
What to Do After a Breakup to End Painful Relationship Patterns
“When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.” ~Unknown
After my kids grew up and I moved to the city from the suburbs, I became somewhat of a professional dater. I was determined to make up for lost time after over a decade as a single mom, and I was optimistic about my future.
My hopes were dashed almost immediately. Relationship after relationship crashed and burned, rarely lasting more than a few weeks. As soon as they’d walk out the door, sometimes within minutes, I’d fire up whatever dating website I was on at …
Why “Be Positive” Isn’t the Best Advice When You’re Down
“Learn the alchemy true human beings know. The moment you accept what troubles you’ve been given, the door will open.” ~Rumi
As much as I tried to apply personal development ideas in my life, I failed big time.
All the affirmations in the world couldn’t make me love myself.
The more I tried to “be present,” the more all-over-the-place my mind became, getting lost in overthinking.
Mindfulness didn’t work for me either. Observing my thoughts got me to chase each and every thought and analyze it. When I tried “letting go,” I just held on tighter.
This was …
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