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10 Surprising Reasons To Stop Trying To Please Everyone

By in Blog, love & relationships

Girl in darkness

“Lean too much on other people’s approval and it becomes a bed of thorns.” ~Tehyi Hsieh

Let’s be honest with each other.

You’re a people-pleaser

So am I.

And so is Oprah, the President of The United States, and the guy next door.

We’re all people-pleasers to some extent. And that’s okay. Wanting to be approved of—and loved—is as natural as wanting food and shelter.

It’s when you try to please everyone that it becomes a problem. In fact, more than a problem, a disease. Harriet B. Braiker called it “the disease to please.”

And …

You Will Be Okay

By in Fun & Inspiring

You will be okay

How to Promote Yourself Authentically to Gain New Opportunities

By in Blog, work fulfillment

Self Promotion

“If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.” ~Unknown

I have always been a smart, dedicated, hard working person. I was raised to believe that those were characteristics required for success. So imagine my surprise to reach the working world and find unexceptional colleagues getting promoted above me.

There’s one memory that particularly stands out.

When I was twenty-five, I was on a team that consisted of amazingly smart, ambitious, hardworking people, plus one mediocre guy, Tom. His mediocrity stood out amongst a high-achieving team, but Tom thought …

The Benefits of Minimalism: 7 Reasons to Declutter Your Life

By in Blog, letting go

Minimalism

“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.” ~ William Morris

Have you ever noticed that every time you move you need a bigger truck than the last time you moved?

People love to collect things, and we have a tendency to keep collecting things in order to fill the available space in our homes (and sometimes beyond).

I’m a firm believer in the idea that material possessions do not equate to happiness, so I recently started to explore the idea of living a minimalist lifestyle, to see if …

Silence Isn’t Empty; It’s Full of Answers

By in Fun & Inspiring

Silence isn't empty

There’s a Difference Between Caring and Worrying

By in Fun & Inspiring

Caring vs worrying

Why We Don’t Need to Apologize So Often & How to Do It Well When We Do

By in Blog, change & challenges, love & relationships

“The ability to apologize sincerely and express regret for the unskillful things we say or do is an art. A true apology can relieve a great deal of suffering in the other person.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

My life has been full of apologies. I’ve been on both the receiving and giving end of the good, the bad, and the ugly apology.

Just recently a dear friend who I hadn’t connected with in a long time reached out and asked if we could meet for coffee. I sort of backhandedly blew her off and told her I would try to meet …

“Life Is Too Short to Worry”

By in Fun & Inspiring

Never tell someone who's freaking out

The Irony of Holding a Grudge

By in Fun & Inspiring

We often hold a grudge

The Power of Doing Nothing When You’re Frustrated or Anxious

By in Blog, mindfulness & peace

Stressed man meditating

“This ‘doing nothing’ is not a cold, passive resignation, but is a luminous, sacred activity, infused with presence and a wild sort of compassion. It is a radical act of kindness and love.” ~Matt Licata

I am storming home after work.

The important men in my life are driving me bonkers—they’ve been self-important, disrespectful, condescending jerks.

My dad doesn’t see the value in the work I do, and my partner blew off our date to take an important phone call. My younger brother leapt off of the phone with me, which he’s been doing every time I’ve called in the …

3 Relationship Myths (and Why We Need to Stop Believing Them)

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Love isn’t always perfect. It isn’t a fairytale or a storybook. And it doesn’t always come easy. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and never letting go.” ~Unknown

When I started dating, I idealized love. I had many false notions about relationships, which I formed from my friends, watching movies, and reading romance novels. Many of the beliefs I had about how relationships should work caused me pain and disappointment because reality turned out to be different from what I expected.

Dating became a journey of resetting my expectations and letting go of false …

Do You Constantly Think and Worry About Your Relationships?

By in Blog, love & relationships

“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you’re not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho

Sometimes it’s easy to define ourselves by our roles and relationships.

We can look at ourselves as a daughter, or someone’s employee, or so in so’s husband. These things mean a lot to us, and we often subconsciously use a variety of behaviors and mental constructs to protect these roles and relationships.

It can take form in innocuous ways, like buying clothes you don’t really want or feigning interests in order to fit in. (Go sports team!) But it also affects more serious things, …

What to Do When You’re Having Trouble Making New Friends

By in Blog, love & relationships

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” ~Albert Einstein

I’m sitting on the couch by myself watching Dexter reruns on Netflix. But I can hardly focus on the show. I’m freaking out because I still haven’t made any friends, even though I moved here over a month ago.

I keep thinking to myself: “Will all my Saturdays look like this?” “Will I actually be able to make new friends and build that social circle I was so excited to have?”

Let me rewind just a bit.

It’s a hot and sunny summer day in Southern California.

After hours …

How to Prevent Fear and Insecurity from Ruining Your Relationship

By in Blog, love & relationships

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” ~Jack Canfield

Buried deep within the broken heart of every great loss is a nugget of wisdom. I experienced the greatest grief of my life just a few months ago, and with it came an opportunity to uncover ugly truths about myself I’d been hiding from.

In facing my pain, I have discovered that underneath the conscious, big-hearted, beautiful person that I am lives a small girl who is terrified of being misunderstood and abandoned by those she loves most.

The surface signs alerting me to these fears looked something …

There Is Nothing You “Should” Be Doing with Your Life

By in Fun & Inspiring

4 Things You Need to Know When Pursuing An Ambitious Dream

By in Blog, meaning & passion, work fulfillment

Dreamer

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.” ~Christopher Reeve

Have you ever decided to pursue something that excited you, that seemed really hard to do, and then had your will tested and almost crushed? I have, many times, most recently this year.

As you may recall, I shared a blog post in January about the newly formed Tiny Buddha Productions, a film company I started with my fiancé, fellow screenwriter Ehren Prudhel.

If you haven’t read that post yet, you may want …

Kindness Begins with the Understanding That We All Struggle

By in Fun & Inspiring

Kindness begins

Life Isn’t Always Fair

By in Fun & Inspiring

Life isn't always fair

Family Isn’t Always Blood

By in Fun & Inspiring

Family isn't always blood

How Dealing with Our Emotions Can Help us Heal Chronic Pain

By in Blog, healthy habits, letting go, mindfulness & peace

“The part can never be well unless the whole is well.” ~Plato

Our bodies are clever. They constantly send us messages that something isn’t right. It’s our job to tune in, listen, and act on these messages.

That headache, tight shoulders, and backache are all trying to tell us something. But sometimes the physical symptoms we experience are actually tied up in a deeper emotional pain that needs to be dealt with first.

How do I know this? It was a message I needed to learn, one that I now teach to others.

Six years ago my life fell apart…