Always Follow Your Gut Instinct
Why We Should Stop Trying to “Fix” Other People’s Pain
“There is such a deeply rooted belief that we must do something with intense surges of feeling and emotion as they wash through: understand them, determine their cause, link them to some life circumstance or person, transform them, transmute them, or even ‘heal’ them.” ~Matt Licata
A few years ago, when I first started working for my current organization, one of my colleagues asked me what role I would most enjoy on the team.
I quickly said, “I like making things happen.”
That was so clear to me—I’m a natural do-er, organizer, and planner. It’s easy for me …
The Art of Conversation: Stop Zoning Out and Waiting to Talk
“Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.” ~Mark Twain
Some of the most memorable experiences in our lives revolve around the conversations we have with others.
Talking to your grandparents about what life was like for them when they were young.
Kind words of encouragement from a teacher or mentor.
A romantic conversation in front of a fireplace with your soul mate.
Listening to the last words of someone on their deathbed.
However, sometimes we can become so pressured to talk, to sell ourselves, or can become so …
Dealing with Emotional Triggers: What to Do When You’re Stuck on a Feeling
“As you grow more practiced in noticing your triggers, offering yourself kindness and remembering that the power to heal your life is always available in the present moment, the situations that once set you off lose their explosive potential.” ~Martha Beck
Recently, I stayed with a friend I don’t see very often so I could attend a mindfulness event near her home. I took the train to her apartment about an hour before the event. We embraced and spent the first few moments together catching up on things.
And then my cellphone dinged.
Which, of course, it does every five …
Why We Don’t Need to Worry About What’s Missing in Our Lives
“Don’t compare your struggles to anyone else’s. Don’t get discouraged by the success of others. Make your own path and never give up.” ~Unknown
My recent breakup was the most painful experience of my life. More painful maybe than it should have been, as it came at a time when a lot of things weren’t going as I hoped they would.
The road to healing seemed so much steeper and longer when all of these things also needed to be ‘fixed.’
As I approached my thirtieth birthday, I found myself back living at home with my parents and at a …
Why It Takes Strength to Be Vulnerable, and Why It’s Worth It
“Vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage.” ~Brené Brown
When we’re younger, we’re fearless. We don’t mind climbing trees, making friends with strangers, or telling our secrets to people we’ve just met. We open our eyes and hearts to new experiences and people, and we trust that everything is going to be okay.
Somewhere along the way, we learn that being vulnerable can hurt.
We get teased or laughed at, and we learn that not everyone can be trusted with our secrets. Our knees get bruised and our hearts get broken.
I don’t fall in love easily. So, when …
Our Lives Are Measured in Love, Not Numbers
“In the end, these are the things that matter most: How well did you love? How fully did you live? How deeply did you let go?” ~Buddha
Last year my yoga teacher told a story in class about Hanuman, an ancient Hindu god depicted as a monkey. When asked what he was devoted to, Hanuman opened his chest and there were Sita and Ram, sitting on his heart, always with him. He was their greatest devotee.
The story stuck with me.
“What do I hold closest to my heart?” I asked myself quite often, and I was not getting the …
4 Ways We Resist Life and Cause Ourselves Pain (And How to Stop)
“When fear wakes up inside, and there is no place to run away or hide from it, consider it a gift. In all the glory of that discomfort, know there is refuge in surrender.” ~Erin Lanahan
When I was a freshman in college, I had a wise English teacher. Through everything he taught, he would always circle back to the theme that “life is a constant cycle of tension and release.”
I heard him say these words over and over, but I didn’t really listen. I wasn’t ready to yet. Still, this simple message always stuck in my memory.
I …
Why I Didn’t Kill Myself and Why You Shouldn’t Either
TRIGGER WARNING: This post deals with an account of sexual abuse and may be triggering to some people.
“That’s the thing about suicide. Try as you might to remember how a person lived his life, you always end up thinking about how he ended it.” ~Anderson Cooper
I know what it’s like to want to die. I know the feeling of hopelessness. I know the sense of loneliness. I know the soul crushing despair and longing to fade into nothingness.
If you are reading this, then you know what I’m talking about. I’m not sure what brought you to …
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